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Prepare Thyself: Week 15

December 13, 2008 | by Andy Goldstein | Comments (1)

Steve Breaston is a sneaky start, while Andy is less insane than either Bobby Fischer or Terrell Owens.

Okay, give Steve Breaston, Warrick Dunn, and Dustin Keller some consideration this week as all have good matchups. Also, for the love of god, start Maurice Jones-Drew since he’s going to have 150 total yards on Sunday.

Normally, I do more in-depth analysis on those sneaky starts, but I feel a need to talk about Terrell Owens. And chess freakazoid Bobby Fischer. Trust me, it’ll make sense.

I seem to follow Owens around this country. Well, at least I have lately since I moved from the Philiadelphia area to Dallas. And clearly, there seems to be a pattern here. Even though Owens is going finish as one of the top touchdown receivers, as he ranks second currently, the off-the-field issues are mounting. I made the mistake of listening to Dallas sports talk radio the other day and it reminded me a lot of Philly sports talk radio. From what I could gather, Owens was a “cancer,” Jason Garrett could be using the Owens fiasco to gain the head coaching job, and the Cowboys are the worst team in the history of the NFL. Or something like that.

But here’s the thing. Owens reminds me of Fischer. Now, that might be a shocking statement to some, but I have this thought out very well. First of all, let me state that I am obviously not a mental health expert (I just play one on TV). But “Bobby Fischer Insane” gets over 45,000 returns on Google while “Terrell Owens Insane” gives about 64,000. As a control, “Andy Goldstein Insane” only returned 101 results. And 28 of those 101 actually come from RotoRob, which is interesting. Anyway, the point is that Fischer and Owens have some similarities in terms of mental issues.

While Owens will often scream at teammates or come up with stupid celebrations, Fischer probably surpassed him in sheer madness. Fischer would forfeit games if the lighting wasn’t right or if he thought opponents were cheating, which happened a surprising number of times. Fischer also developed some severe neuroses regarding Jews and America. But the big issue with both of these guys is that the media was/is unable to address the mental side of these guys. Owens is called “insane” as a joke, mostly. Instead of compassion, the sports radio guys chuckle or get mad at Owens.

Similarly, the media did a fine job exploiting Fischer. Many applauded ESPN’s Jeremy Schapp as he confronted Fischer at one of his bizarre press conferences. It goes without saying that Fischer’s bigotry is reprehensible, but it’s a result of a sickness. Boiling that down to a four-minute hit job is disrespectful to the illness.

Obviously, Owens’ case is not as severe, and as far as I know, he doesn’t have anything against any set of people. But this is a guy who apparently attempted suicide. He has worn out his welcome in every city he has played for. And, every time he talks into a mic, a majority hope for some fireworks. That’s not fair to Owens and I do have some worries about what could happen to Owens as his career winds down. I hope we don’t have a Fischer repeat.

Good luck in Week 15!

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Prepare Thyself: Week 14

December 5, 2008 | by Andy Goldstein | Comments (0)
So the NFL debuted 3D football broadcasts Thursday. In four U.S. cities, the Charger-Raider game was broadcast into movie theaters in three dimensions. Now, I’m not exactly a business genius, a fact borne out by my bank account. Still, I’m pretty sure 3D football isn’t exactly the next big thing in the NFL money-making machine. [...]
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Prepare Thyself: Week 12

November 27, 2008 | by Andy Goldstein | Comments (0)
Ah, Thanksgiving is upon us. A day made entirely for eating and watching football. Oh, and that whole being with family thing and whatnot. But really, it’s for football. Unfortunately, my Thanksgiving is going to be fraught with worry. I am meeting my girlfriend’s side of the family. I’m not worried that they’ll hate me [...]
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Prepare Thyself: Week 12

November 23, 2008 | by Andy Goldstein | Comments (1)
Many apologies for no column last week. I was without Internet which, trust me, was the most painful experience of my life. How did humanity survive before the Net? I vaguely recall a period before computers, but I’m pretty sure I’ve mostly blocked it out of my memory. Anyway, because I teach you freaks how [...]
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Fire Phil Sheridan

November 18, 2008 | by Andy Goldstein | Comments (5)
I miss Fire Joe Morgan. I know it has only been a week since dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, and Coach officially signed off, but it didn’t hit home until I read this. Honestly, I forgot FJM had closed its doors. I couldn’t wait until it got their hands on this doozy, and I [...]
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