On Christmas Day, we unveiled the 2009 RotoRob Baseball Awards, but one player we failed to acknowledge is Scott Schoeneweis, who deserves kudos for the courage he showed last year.

Schoeneweis had to endure something no one – player or otherwise – should have to, when his wife died suddenly in late-May. He spent some time on the bereavement list, but just a couple months after returning, he had to again leave the Diamondbacks to deal with depression in the fallout of his tragedy.

Schoeneweis came back in September, and although statistically this was a lost year for him, obviously his mind was on more important issues than baseball.

For showing courage and helping put Fantasy baseball and life into perspective, Schoeneweis gets a Bonus 2009 RotoRob Baseball Award.

By Andy Holloway, Chris Wassel and RotoRob

Fantasy Stud of the Year

There is no longer any debate about who the biggest star in the NHL is.

Alexander Ovechkin, Washington Capitals: During Ovehckin’s first three years in the NHL, there was a legitimate debate about who was the league’s best player. Sidney Crosby perhaps. Joe Thornton? Evgeni Malkin? But there was no debate in 2009. Whether wowing fans at the All-Star game in Montreal (and not always with his on-ice flair), scoring while flat on the ice or setting up a teammate with the kind of artistry not seen since Mario Lemieux, the swaggering Ovechkin is the No. 1 draw in the NHL and clearly its most exciting player. He’s near the top of the leader board this season despite missing 11 games to injury and dirty play, and will likely win the Hart and Maurice Richard trophies again at year-end, and maybe even the Art Ross, which has oddly eluded him. One trophy the all-kneeing player won’t win is the Lady Byng, given out to the league’s most gentlemanly player. But no one cares about that.

Honourable mention: Sidney Crosby, Joe Thornton. — AH

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Vesa Toksala’s five-hole is almost big enough to let our award through.

Vesa Toskala, Toronto Maple Leafs: Let’s make it clear that no one but a diehard Maple Leaf fan should have ever willingly picked Toskala in any Fantasy draft, no matter how many rounds your league has. But a half-decent 2007-08 may have convinced some that the Finn would continue his swim upward into a mid-tier starting goalie. Instead, Toskala floundered, ending 2008-09 as perhaps the worst goalie in the NHL. The start of this season has only seen his already-poor stats decline even further. In 19 games this year, Toskala has posted a gaudy GAA of 3.76 and a scintillating save percentage of .869, the worst of any goalie who has played at least 10 games.

Honourable goalie mentions: Pascal Leclaire, Martin Biron and Jean-Sebastien Giguere. — AH

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

It took a while for him to get going, but Steven Stamkos emerged as the year’s best freshman.

Steven Stamkos, Tampa Bay Lightining: As the No. 1 draft pick of ’08, Stamkos entered the league under huge pressure to return the Tampa Bay Lightning to its winning ways. He didn’t. Indeed, Stamkos was a bit of a bust at the outset of his first NHL campaign. But the centre played up to expectations the rest of the way and has played his way into serious contention for a spot on the Canadian Olympic team. He has scored almost as many goals this season as he did all of last year, cementing his reputation of having a canny knack for finding the back of the net. Without him, the Lightning would be battling the Hurricanes for the rights to the next top draft pick.

Honourable mentions: Drew Doughty, Bobby Ryan, John Tavares. — AH

Fantasy Comeback Player of the Year

Dustin Penner’s comeback shocked us all.

Dustin Penner, Edmonton Oilers: Look, we all thought the Penner deal was a bust. Admit it. Raise your hands because it is okay. I did too. However, 38 points in 39 games this year signifies a significant comeback — and one no one saw coming even with Craig MacTavish out as Coach. Yes, Penner has gone a bit cold along with the Oilers, but if you predicted this reemergence, well then I would pay you a million dollars…right now. [Note from the editor -- RotoRob.com is not responsible for paying off Chris Wassel's debts.]

Honourable mention: Marian Gaborik, Martin Brodeur, Tomas Kaberle. — CW

Moron of the Year

Keith Ballard’s medication ran out shortly after this picture.

Keith Ballard, Florida Panthers: There is little in Ballard’s history to suggest that he is one of the all-time maroons in professional sports. Oh sure, his penalty minute totals indicate he’s not one to shy away from the rougher side of the game, but no one would ever have suspected that he would go postal and slash his own goalie across the head after giving up a goal – a goal, it should be pointed out, that was pretty much all Ballard’s fault. But within minutes of Ballard’s hack job on Tomas Vokoun on November 30, the video evidence of his temporary (?) insanity was splashed all over the web. Thankfully, Vokoun wasn’t seriously injured, but if you watch closely at the end of the video, you can see Ballard give the post a good whack as if disappointed he didn’t completely KO his teammate. — AH

Best Bongo Player of the Year

Forget his play at right wing, Alexander Semin plays a mean bongo drum.

Before 2009 was out off its training wheels, Alexander Semin showed off his rather unique pugilistic abilities, playing a bizarre form of bongo drugs on New York Rangers Marc Staal’s head. I’m not sure what I like better — those flailing arms or that percussive technique — oh, what pure majesty. If you haven’t seen it, you haven’t lived. So do yourself a favour. — RR

The Lead Weight Award

Can you believe +/- dud Rod Brind’Amour is a two-time Selke winner?

This award goes to the player who literally cannot play D worth a crap. Needless to say, it does not have to go to a defenseman necessarily and, sure enough, this year’s recipient is Rod Brind’Amour of the Carolina Hurricanes. If you thought last year’s -31 thru 61 games was bad, take a look at this year’s horror show. In just 38 games, the old iron horse himself is a -22. No, this is not a misprint. Ever since his knee surgery before the 2008-09 season, Brind’amour has not been the same player. Carolina is much worse off this year and a turnaround is really not in the cards. It may be time to retire, ol’ No. 17. — CW

The Jesus Award

New York loved what it saw of Marian Gaborik in Minny, so it went out and got him.

This award is given to the player who best carries his team on his back. Originally named the Jaromir Jagr award, but there had to be a minor adjustment here since he went to the KHL. This year’s recipient of The Jesus Award is Marian Gaborik. All Gaborik has done is score 26 of his team’s 105 goals. Now, I am not a math major (nor I claim to be one) but that is just about 25 per cent of the team’s total output in the goal department. With busts like Chris Drury, Wade Redden, etc., on the roster, the Rangers have been a true disappointment since their 7-1 start. However, Gaborik continues to lead the way much like Jaromir Jagr did in those dark years. When the spread in goals between first and second on your team is 17, there is a serious issue. Oh, poor Jesus…oops…I mean Gaborik. — CW

The Absent-Minded Netminder Award

Did Vesa Toskala’s brain turn to marbles when Maxim Lapierre landed on his head or when the RotoRob hardware did? (AP)

This one given to the goalie who I’m confident has marbles for brains. This year, that award goes to Vesa Toskala, whom we’ve already determined is a serious dud (see above). Of course, there’s the classic 200-foot goal he gave up against the Islanders, but this recent one against Buffalo is up there as well. Now, I understand Toronto makes you go criminally insane when you are a netminder, but even Toskala’s numbers this year border on insanity. His Goals Against Average and Save Percentage rank last in the league for anyone who has more than 10 decisions. I understand Toskala’s injury issues and his fear of being hurt again, but the lackluster play literally screams “go to Europe!” Let us hope and pray that the Leafs figure this out before it’s too late. Oh wait…this is Toronto we’re talking about…never mind. — CW

They Call Me Annie Oakley (Best Shootout Player Award)

Need a shootout goal? Call Jussi Jokinen. (AP)

This is my favourite award of all, and this year we give it to Jussi Jokinen. Did you know that Jokinen has a 73 per cent success rate (this calendar year) in shootouts? The former Bolt was truly given a new lease on life when he waived by Tampa and picked up by the Hurricanes. Jokinen is also good very late in games when you need a goal to tie or win a game. Just ask the New Jersey Devils; when Jokinen tied or won the game in three of the seven games in that series. If you want a sharpshooter and time is short, Jokinen is your guy. — CW

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Brett who? Aaron Rodgers (12) has become the top Fantasy player in the game.

Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers: This was a two-horse race between Rodgers and Chris Johnson, the breakout running back from the Tennessee Titans, but ultimately we’re giving Rodgers the nod since he was chosen later in drafts than Johnson, who was a consensus first-round selection. Rodgers is an absolute machine offensively, passing for 4,199 yards and 29 touchdowns against only seven picks with one game left to play. He makes big plays, is willing to stand in the pocket (sometimes too long) and take hits to deliver a pass. Rodgers’ most underrated skill is his scrambling ability, where he leads all quarterbacks with 314 rushing yards and four touchdowns. The second-year starter has also shown he can still post big numbers even as the weather gets colder, something his predecessor no longer could. Even if he isn’t viewed on the same level as Peyton Manning and Drew Brees yet, that day is coming sooner than you think. Rodgers is an elite talent that continues to improve and is a likely first-round Fantasy selection as early as 2010. — HG

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Matt Forte has been a major letdown after a fantastic rookie season in 2008.

Matt Forte, Chicago Bears: It’s been a tough season for running backs with first- and second-round picks like Steve Slaton, Clinton Portis, Ronnie Brown, Michael Turner and Brian Westbrook struggling to stay healthy. However, we wanted to go with someone that stayed healthy and simply didn’t perform. That left us with three choices: Forte, Marion Barber and Matt Cassel. Of that group, only Forte was a first-round selection so he received the honour. One year after producing 1,715 total yards and 12 touchdowns, the Tulane product enters Week 16 with 1,209 yards and a paltry four scores. The arrival of Jay Cutler, which was supposed to invigorate the Chicago offense, has instead caused an identity crisis for the Bears, who now feature the passing game despite an underwhelming group of receivers. Forte’s fall is a major disappointment considering many pegged him as a top two or three selection. — HG

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Impact rookies were scarce in 2009, but Percy Harvin stood out.

It wasn’t really a stellar year for Fantasy rookies, but out of a weak group, I give the award to Minnesota wide receiver Percy Harvin. The Vikings went out and drafted a playmaker despite his questionable reputation. For the season, he has six touchdowns, 49 catches and 691 yards. He’s also helped Fantasy owners with his rushing and return skills. Harvin been also an asset on kick returns.

Honourable mention

Knowshon Moreno, Denver Broncos: He’s been solid for the Broncos, but not exciting. He only has five TDs and hasn’t logged a 100-yard game yet.

Mark Sanchez, New York Jets: He looked good early on only to stumble with the rest of his team.

Matthew Stafford, Detroit Lions: Gained some points in my book for that gutty win against Cleveland. The kid’s got promise but only two multi-TD games isn’t good enough to warrant Fantasy consideration.

Chris “Beanie” Wells, Arizona Cardinals: The potential is there, he just need more carries.

Austin Collie, Indianapolis Colts: has quickly gained Manning’s confidence. He hasn’t really had a big game, but has been fairly consistent.

Michael Oher, Baltimore Ravens: If I had any guts, I’d give the award to a guy who doesn’t score your Fantasy team a damn point – at least not outwardly. However, Oher has helped Ray Rice become a 1,000-yard rusher. — TH

Comeback Player of the Year

Yes, Brett Favre’s successful comeback is annoying…but also damn impressive.

Brett Favre, QB, Minnesota Vikings: Yeah, this one pains me. It seemed like the offseason was one big will he or won’t he unretire – again. Well he finally said he was staying retired, only to un-retire. Yes, it got annoying. Anyways, once Favre hit the field he looked like a completely different player. He played smart football, cutting down on his interceptions, but still tossed in some of that Favre flare, leading the Vikings to an 11-3 record, but more importantly for Fantasy purposes, he tossed 27 TDs against a career-low seven interceptions. Love him or hate him, Favre’s turned Minnesota and many a Fantasy team, into winners.

Honourable mention

Rashard Mendenhall, Pittsburgh Steelers: For ccoming back from that big Ray Lewis hit.

Miles Austin, Dallas Cowboys: For coming back from obscurity.

Ricky Williams, Miami Dolphins: For coming back for the dead to be a 1,000-yard back again.

Chad Ochocinco, Cincinnati Bengals: For reinventing himself after Chad Johnson went to parts unknown.

Tom Brady, New England Patriots: For returning from his devastating knee injury. –TH

You Killed Me You Bastard Award

Brian Westbrook didn’t make a fan of Todd in 2009.

Every year, Brian Westbrook kills me whenever my team plays against him. Absolutely kills me. This year, I figured “If you can’t beat them, join them,” and picked up Westbrook in both of my football leagues. Uh, bad move. I got two TDs and 225 yards rushing and more head trauma than Westbrook from banging my head against the wall. Let’s just say I’ve got that out of my system now. Westbrook will add his name to next to Daunte Culpepper (2005), Emmitt Smith (1997) and Steve Young (1995) – all guys who destroyed my season with off years and whom I’ve never liked or drafted again. — TH

Fantasy Stud of the Year

King James’ Fantasy reign rocks on.

Is it any doubt? The King reigns supreme in the association as LeBron James just keeps getting better and better. Then again, what do you expect? He won’t be 25 until later this month. In contrast to Chris Paul, LBJ has stayed healthy the past year, and his shooting touch – especially from downtown – just keeps getting better. His FT shooting has also improved significantly, and is no longer a weak link in his game. Last season, James cut his turnovers and matched a career high with 1.1 blocks per game, and this year, he’s been dropping dimes like nobody’s business, putting up a career-best eight assists per game.

The Cavs are again rolling in 2009-10, leading the Central Division thanks to their superstar who is currently second in the NBA in scoring.

All that’s missing from this dude’s repertoire is a ring, but from a Fantasy standpoint, the only championships owners care about are their own, and if you have LBJ is tow, chances are pretty damn fine you’re bagging your share of titles.

Honourable mention: Dirk Nowitzki, Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade, Kobe Bryant and Kevin Durant.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Detroit was one of four places where Allen Iverson was not The Answer.

It’s so hard to believe that’s it’s been just over a year since Allen Iverson was still considered a high second round pick. Since then, he’s played with four different teams, retired, spent plenty of time moaning, missed a massive amount of action with a back injury and alienated his Fantasy owners all over the land. Oh, and now he’s off getting an MRI on his knee. The scary thing is, the way things are going for AI this season, his owners are probably dreaming of the “good old days” in Detroit. I’m not sure I can ever remember a superstar’s career going downhill as fast as Iverson’s has.

Honourable mention: Shawn Marion, Kevin Garnett, Elton Brand, Tyson Chandler, Al Jefferson and David West.

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Brook Lopez towered over an incredibly talented rookie class in 2009.

Last season, and to a smaller extent, this season has produced a ridiculous bounty of Fantasy-worthy rookies, making this the most difficult category to pick a single winner. But because of the rarity of big men to jump on the scene and immediately pay dividends, we’re giving the nod to Brook Lopez. At least something should go right in the Swamplands this year, don’t you think? The Stanford product was damn good in 2008-09, but his work in the first half of this season is what clinches this honour. It’s conceivable that Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook and Michael Beasley, among others, will go on to have better careers than Lopez, but no one has become such a dependable Fantasy asset as quickly as he has.

Honourable mention: Tyreke Evans, Brandon Jennings, Omri Casspi, James Harden, Jonny Flynn, Beasley, O.J. Mayo, Rose, Kevin Love, Westbrook, Eric Gordon, Mario Chalmers and Jason Thompson.

Fantasy Comeback Player of the Year

Nene’s ability to stay healthy shocked everyone.

While the reemergence of Jason Williams this season and the fact that Grant Hill didn’t miss a single game in 2008-09 were excellent stories, our vote has to go to Nene, who not only stayed healthy but enjoyed a career year. The Brazilian big man was an absolute steal for his Fantasy owners, setting personal bests almost across the board. The fact that he’s kept the party going this year with even more rebounds and a ton of steals clinches the honour for Nene.

Honourable mention: Williams, Gilbert Arenas, Pau Gasol and Hill.

The Fair Play Award

Portland threatened anyone who wanted to take Darius Miles away.

As we all know, so much of sports these days is driven by big business. Determining who you can sign is all about the holy Salary Cap – and damned is the team that goes astray from this device. So when Portland Trail Blazer president Larry Miller sent an e-mail to every NBA team in January warning them that he would sue anyone who tried to sign Darius Miles for the purposes of screwing the Blazers’ salary cap flexibility, we reached a new level of insanity. The NBA chose not to penalize Portland for its threatening e-mail. Hey, all’s fair in love and sports, I guess.

MAP Award

Nate Robinson excels at grating on people.

Almost anyone can be the Most Valuable Player, but it takes a special kind of talent to become the Most Annoying Player in the Association. Time and time again, Nate Robinson has shown that kind of super pest ability. Whether it’s scrapping with his own teammates to the point where he almost gets himself demoted to the D-League, using his annoying energy to win the Slam Dunk contest or taking shots at his own freaking basket during a game, KryptoNate definitely stands apart from the crowd. But it was the technical foul he received earlier this year, and the subsequent reaction by his coach that earned Robinson special merit in our 2009 Awards. In a game against Coach Mike D’Antoni’s former team, the Phoenix Suns, Robinson got T-ed up – from the bench — for taunting Amare Stoudemire. D’Antoni was not impressed: “To be honest with you, that’s why you don’t have concealed weapons, ’cause I’d have shot him at that point,” D’Antoni said. “He doesn’t need to get a technical at that point…Now I do like his feistiness, but he just needs to channel it in the right way. And he knows that.” Feistiness. Hmmm….that’s a very polite way of describing Robinson’s asshole tendencies. Note to self: don’t piss Robinson or D’Antoni off. Oops…too late.

Crotch Grab of the Year

Lamar Odom’s crotch grab didn’t go over well.

Lamar Odom, originally drafted by the Clippers, decided to show them what they had been missing in recent years when he had a furious put-back slam and grabbed his crotch while hanging on the rim (err…so to speak). The Clips got so pissed at this that they asked the league to look into it, but no discipline (spanking or otherwise) was ever doled out as far as we know. This is the only video I could find of the “junk mail” and it’s not very conclusive. Perhaps Khloe has better footage? (Speaking of Khloe, there’s more on her later…)

Best Owner Tirade of the Year

Cavalier owner Dan Gilbert made his feelings known is colourful language.

We often think the biggest babies in sports are the players themselves, and there are countless examples to back this notion up. But sometimes it is those that make sports possible – the owners – who are the juiciest pink tacos in town, so to speak. Take, for instance, Cleveland Cavalier head honcho Daniel Gilbert’s reaction when Jameer Nelson made the 2008-09 NBA All-Star game over his point guard, Mo Williams. And when Nelson got hurt, but it was Ray Allen – not Williams – named the successor, Gilbert spazzed out to the point he was making up words. Now that’s impressive:

“Ben Wallace was right when he called Mo originally being passed over for the All-Star Game a ’shamockery,’” Gilbert e-mailed to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “But not naming him as the natural and obvious replacement for the unfortunately injured Jameer Nelson is stupidiculous, idillogical and preposterageous.”

Um…the only question I have is just how many times has Gilbert seen Mary Poppins?

Best Teammate of the Year

Amare Stoudemire kept his eyes on his prize when discussing his role in the Suns’ failures.

The Phoenix Suns were one of the bigger disappointments of 2008-09, but – damn it – it sure as hell wasn’t the fault of their star, Amare Stoudemire. “It’s always on my shoulders when something goes wrong…I’m not a captain so you can’t place too much of the blame on me,” Stoudemire said. “It’s not my job to rally the troops and get everybody on board. It’s the captain’s job to do that.” The “captain” that he was referring to is Steve Nash, so essentially Stoudemire was hanging the Canadian star out to dry. Very nice.
“Stat” didn’t stop there and sort of dissed ex-teammate Shaquille O’Neal for hogging all the boards: “(As far as rebounding), I’ve got Shaq down there. I can’t get 15 rebounds a night with the big fella taking up all the space.”

For the record, Stoudemire had averaged 9.6 and 9.1 boards per game in the two previous seasons, but slipped to 8.1 in 2008-09 – his worst full-season average ever. But in 2009-10, Shaq’s gone, so Stoudemire must be back to close to double digits, right? Uh, maybe not. He’s pulling down just 8.6 per game (in fairness, he’s stepped up in December).
I was absolutely shocked that Stoudemire wasn’t dealt since his tirade. Stranger yet, the Suns have bounced back this season and are among the top teams in the West.

Apparently, the moral here is that we don’t need no stinking chemistry.

The Misplaced Effort Award

Ben Wallace has always been a force on the glass, and know we know why.

How the hell does a basketball player wind up with pieces of glass in his arm by playing football? Um, ask Ben Wallace. That’s what happened to him in February. Assumedly, he dove for a catch and went flying through a window. Now, there’s a great mental picture. Just close your eyes and imagine Big Ben working that hard on his free-throw shooting. Woah….I just got a crazy visual of Steve Nash with Wallace’s huge-ass ‘fro. Okay, I need therapy now. Well…I need more.

Yoko Ono Award

Cristal Taylor knows how to get right in a jock’s face.

Cristal Taylor, a.k.a. the “Little Jailbird,” as she was affectionately known to Disco Dirk, claimed to be pregnant by her supposed boyfriend Nowitzki. This situation had Yoko Ono written all over it, and the Mavericks organization had apparently even warned Nowitzki about his taste in women.

The ex-stripper (who doesn’t love a sentence that starts that way?) was arrested in May because of a probation violation and theft of service (whatever that means…stealing cable, perhaps?).

Shockingly, reports emerged that Taylor was a divisive force between Nowitzki, his family and his teammates. That does sound familiar, doesn’t it, Yoko?

Thankfully, Nowitzki started to clue in before it was too late, so we will likely be spared the equivalent of a Ringo Starr solo album (videos of Jason Terry’s shot-blocking technique? Jason Kidd’s perfect jumpshot? Shawn Marion’s shooting technique? Rolling Doobies Made Easy, by Josh Howard?).

Leaving Your Bride at the Alter Award

Richard Jefferson told his bride to be to talk to the hand.

Sometimes it’s what you don’t do that winds up being smarter than what you do. Just ask Richard Jefferson and Lamar Odom, who took very different approaches with their nuptials (no, not together…although that wouldn’t have been a big shock considering the long-standing rumours of RJ’s sexual preferences).

At any rate, Jefferson had a $2 million wedding to marry Nets dancer Kesha Ni’Cole queued up. But the weekend before the wedding was scheduled, RJ broke up with his finance – via e-mail. That’s classy. “Sometimes you might write an e-mail to get your thoughts down right,” he said. Fantastic. But don’t cry for Kesha too much. Jefferson gave her six digits to go away. “I’m not trying to buy her off,” he said. “She has a lump sum to help her move on.” Right. A lump sum. As opposed to a lump of coal.

Should Have Left Your Bride at the Alter Award

Is this the kind of woman you marry a month after meeting?

The flipside of this story, of course, is Lamar Odom’s sudden (and I do mean sudden) and likely ill-advised marriage to Khloe Kardashian. They met in August at a Ron Arest party (now there’s a place where romance blooms) and just over a month later, they were married. Um, Lamar…why did you not heed the lesson of Reggie Bush, the Saints running back that dated Khloe’s Sister Kim and never reached his potential?

The best part? Odom’s bachelor party was thrown by Joe Francis – the dude who founded Girls Gone Wild.

So let’s see…what do you get when you put Ron Artest, a Kardashian, a Laker and Girls Gone Wild together? Fucked if I know, but I can’t see this ending well.

Gatorade Schmaterade

Nothing wrong with a little taste test at halftime.

Speaking of Ron Artest, what awards ceremony is complete without an appearance from him? His recent revelation that he used to drink at halftime is the stuff that legends are made of. Can’t you just see Ron Ron, furtively sipping his Hennessey out of a paper bag in his locker? Okay, it’s not Hennessey, but this is close enough, and it has Dutch subtitles, to boot!

By Tim McLeod, Daniel Olson, RotoRob and Herija Green

Fantasy Stud of the Year

By adding pop to his already studly BA, Joe Mauer became the top asset in Fantasy ball.

Joe Mauer, C, Minnesota Twins: You have to go back to the days of Mike Piazza to find a catcher that was simply this flat out dominant. In 2009, Mauer finally demonstrated the power to complement what has always been a great batting average. He spanked 28 homers and drove in 96 runs, to go along with an mind-blowing OPS of 1031 and .365 BA. Off-season kidney surgery and back problems delayed Mauer’s first at bat in 2009 until the beginning of May, but once he was out of the gate he just didn’t stop producing. In Fantasy leagues, he returned first round value with from a sixth round investment. It simply doesn’t get much better than that. Mauer has now elevated his game to a different stratosphere from his peers, and is a most deserving Fantasy Stud of the Year for 2009.

Honourable mention: Tim Lincecum managed to win back-to-back Cy Young Awards and established himself as a pitcher that will go very “high” in league drafts heading into 2010 (for more on how high Lincecum may get, see below). Carl Crawford bounced back with a great 15 homers and 60 stolen bases. Aaron Hill came out of nowhere, assuming Toronto is nowhere (as the rest of Canada has always maintained), and put on a consistent power display from start to finish, amassing 36 long balls and 108 RBI. Albert Pujols was Albert Pujols. Another monster season is in the books and if the expectations weren’t so consistently high for Phat Albert this would have been my choice for MVP. Mark Reynolds had a great season in the desert with 44 homers, 102 RBI, 98 runs scored, 24 thefts and a solid (for him, anyways, considering he’s the king of K) .260 BA. Owners of any of these great players were sure to be found at the top-of-the-leader boards in their Fantasy leagues at the end of the 2009 season. — TM

Fantasy Dud of the Year

David Wright sure as hell didn’t deliver what Fantasy owners were expecting in 2009.

David Wright, 3B, New York Mets: In a year where options abounded, it was a tough call for Dud of the Year, but Wright is certainly very deserving, so he gets the nod of doom. That magnificent line from 2008 faded quicker than a Tiger Woods endorsement deal. How does a guy who managed 33 homers, 124 RBI, and 115 runs scored in 626 AB in 2008, end up with a mere 10 long balls, 72 RBI, and 88 runs scored in 2009? Is this the new world order in New York or just one of the many catastrophes that occurred in the land of the Mutts in 2009? Wright did manage to keep the BA on the good side of .300 and chipped in with a career best 27 thefts, but Fantasy players didn’t pay first round money for his speed.

Honourable mention: Pick a catcher, any catcher. The backstop triumvirate of Geovany Soto, Russell Martin, and Ryan Doumit (also known as the Unholy Trinity) is a good place to start. Injuries wreaked havoc on perennial first round picks Jose Reyes and Grady Sizemore. Josh Hamilton suffered from one malady after another and killed many a Fantasy squad (and, apparently, put a dent in the Reddi Whip market, as well). Daisuke Matsuzaka, coming off his MVP performance at the WBC tournament, never got out of the gate and a tired shoulder ruined his season, a common theme for WBC vets. There was no shortage of options when looking at the underachievers in 2009. — TM

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Tommy Hanson topped a strong rookie class in 2009.

Tommy Hanson, SP, Atlanta Braves: The lead singer of the Hanson Brothers stepped outside of his vocal talents and onto the diamond for the Atlanta Braves this season and put up spectacular numbers. Wait, he wasn’t one of the Mmmbop Brothers? Whatever. Hanson had a fantastic rookie campaign for the Braves, going 11-4 with a 2.89 ERA in 21 starts. The 23-year-old from Oklahoma showed he was the real deal unlike some hyped starting pitchers over the past few years such as Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain for the New York Dollar Signs, I mean Yankees.

Hanson started the season off a bit rocky after being called up on June 7, giving up six runs in a performance against the Brew Crew of Milwaukee, but went on to win four straight starts including victories against the Dollar Signs and Boston Red Sox. For the remainder of the season, Hanson never gave up more than four earned runs in any start, as he struck out 121 batters through 126 innings. He also had to earn his spot in the rotation as Atlanta has been stacked with starting pitchers so the fact he was called up in early June and hung on to that rotation spot for the rest of the season is even more impressive.

While Hanson might not have won the NL Rookie of the Year honours, he sure as hell is RotoRob’s pick for Rookie of the Year. Now, if he could just grow some sweet blonde locks and learn how to play the drums and guitar, the women in Atlanta would sure swoon.

Honourable mention goes to Gordon Beckham of the Chicago White Sox. While he may be the least popular Beckham in America (I only know two, the other being David, and I’m pretty sure he has his own cologne line or something dumb like that), he put up a solid .270 batting average, smacked 14 jacks, knocked in 63 runs and had an impressive 807 OPS while playing Gold Glove caliber defense all season for the Sox. — DO

Comeback Player of the Year

A year ago, Aaron Hill’s future didn’t look so bright, but now he’s got to wear shades.

Aaron Hill, 2B, Toronto Blue Jays: Hill saw his 2008 campaign end prematurely when he suffered a serious concussion that worried many about his ability to play ball again. But he came out determined this year to show he could still be a solid second baseman and King of the Hill for the Jays. The 27-year-old had a career year by any standards; in fact, it was almost ‘roid rage like. He hit a career-high 36 home runs, knocked in 108 runs and batted a solid .286. Hill’s previous career highs were the 17 home runs and 78 RBI he put up in 2007. In his magical age 27 season, he showed that he had no lingering effects from his concussion and could definitely see clearly now. Hill helped to lead a powerful Jay offense while also playing spectacular defense all season. He even garnered his first career Silver Slugger award and earned himself a look as a high draft pick in next year’s Fantasy draft. Well done, Double-A-Ron, well done.

Honourable mention goes to Carlos Silva who had a spectacular comeback season for the Seattle Mariners after a terrible first year of his new contract. Wait a minute, he sucked again. Bad. Too many enchiladas leads to horrific pitching (and gas) for the Venezuelan villain. Chris Carpenter will reel in the honourable mention card as he finished second in Cy Young voting and pitched his way to a fantastic year of 17-4 with a 2.24 ERA for the St. Louis Cardinals, narrowly being edged out for the Cy Young by repeat winner Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants. — DO

Jock of the Year Award

We can assure you that Adrian Beltre wasn’t smiling when he got bagged in the bag.

Adrian Beltre, 3B, Free Agent: Okay, could someone please explain to me how Adrienne, as he’s now affectionately known in the clubhouse, could actually forget to wear his athletic supporter? Sweet Jesus on a 10-speed, what where you thinking Mr. Beltre? I think this whole situation can be summed up rather nicely by this AC/DC classic, with a little help from Spongebob. — TM

Money Well Saved Award

The Giants avoided a serious headache when Manny wound up back in LA.

Remember last January when the San Francisco Giants were rumoured to be very much in the running for Manny Ramirez’s services? Well, as much as the Giants needed and still need an offensive kick in the ass, sparing themselves yet another prima Dona, spotlight-sucking star who winds up in a drug controversy is probably a damn good thing. Sometimes the best moves you make involve standing pat, so Lady Luck was shining on the Giants when Manny wound up back in LA. — RR

Money Well Spent Award

It’s hard to quibble with the Yanks’ spending spree on C.C. Sabathia and others, considering they won it all.

And then there’s the flipside, when opening up the wallet did make all the difference. As a lifelong Yankee hater, giving this award make me feel like cobras are writhing all over me (and not in a good way), but the Pinstripers can’t be denied this one. Adding C.C. Sabathia, Mark Teixeira and A.J. Burnett last winter cost the Yankees nearly a half billion dollars (yes, I needed a calculator to figure that out). But in the end, no matter how we play the game, we are judged by victories, and anyone who tells you different is a Commie (or worse yet, a Canadian). So when the Yankees hoisted the World Series trophy in November (thanks again, WBC), all those greenbacks were justified. Freakin’ bastards. — RR

The I Fu**ing Told You So Award

Last year I was given the chance to make a series of “picks and pans” some five-plus months before the start of the 2009 season for a magazine. The results would have made Nostradamus jealous. Let the following pearls of wisdom serve as Exhibits A, B and so on as to why everyone should always listen to me…except when I’m wrong.

My Pans

Had you heeded Herija’s advice, you would have known that B.J. Upton was a glorified Willy Taveras.

B.J. Upton, Tampa Bay Rays: I called him a “glorified Willy Taveras” and said his loss of second base eligibility was a killer because he was just another guy in the outfield. People ignored me and drafted him early on. The results: a .241 average, 11 home runs and 42 stolen bases. Taveras hit .240 with 25 steals in 156 fewer at bats.

Howie Kendrick, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: I bemoaned his inability to stay healthy, and he proved me right by appearing in only 105 games.

Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies: I thought he threw too many innings and wouldn’t be as effective in 2009. Could I have been more right? He went from 14-10 with a 3.09 ERA to 10-11 with a 4.32 ERA and opponents hit nearly 50 points higher against him.

A.J. Burnett, Toronto Blue Jays: I was all over the contract year syndrome with Burnett, who fell back from 18 wins to 13 despite pitching for the best team in baseball. His strikeouts fell and his walks went up as well. Advantage: Me.

Rich Harden, Chicago Cubs: People could’ve really steered clear of some marginal Fantasy starters if they paid attention to me as Harden was also on my hit list. The oft-injured righty made only 26 starts, including just three in September, and the dominance he showed during his brief Cubs stint in 2008 was nowhere to be seen. At least his strikeouts provided a silver lining.

Joe Saunders, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: This one is marginal, but I said he wasn’t the kind of pitcher that could match his ERA/WHIP from 2008, and without it he was a one-trick pony (wins). To that end he did win 16 games, but his ERA skyrocketed from 3.41 to 4.60 and his WHIP followed suit, going from 1.21 to 1.43. One…trick…pony.

My Picks

Troy Tulowitzki, Colorado Rockies: How down were people on Tulo? Down enough that his average draft position made him an eighth-round selection in standard 12-team leagues. I loved his strong finish and thought he was poised to rebound big time. Turns out I was right…again.

Pablo Sandoval, San Francisco Giants: The average fan had no idea who the Kung Fu Panda was entering last season, but I did. I loved the way he swung the bat and didn’t think for a second he was a fluke. I also championed his catcher eligibility as a big time bonus.

Ryan Zimmerman, Washington Nationals: First Tulo, now Zimmerman. Looks like I was all over bounce back seasons last year. I knew owners that spent early-round picks on him the previous season would be disappointed because he didn’t break out the way many thought he would after changing venues, but I told owners he would be a great mid-round value.

Yovani Gallardo, Milwaukee Brewers: I called him a potential mid-round steal and said, “he strikes out a lot of guys and may push for 15-plus wins.” Gallardo only won 13 games thanks to some suspect run support, but he rang up 204 hitters. Not bad at all.

Heath Bell, San Diego Padres: Living in Southern California, I’d seen Bell work as a set-up man for long-time Friars closer Trevor Hoffman and was utterly certain he’d make a seamless transition into that role last season. He has the perfect attitude and power repertoire to be a dominant stopper, and he rewarded my faith with 42 saves. — HG

Gone to Pot Award

Tim Lincecum’s pitching secrets were revealed this year.

Tim Lincecum, SP, San Francisco Giants: This is more of a Leaf than an Award, I suppose. At any rate, you’ve really have to admire a guy that answers that first question from the traffic cop with, “Hey Dude, far out lights you got flashing, want an Oreo?” Timmy, Timmy, Timmy…next time, get one of your skater friends to pick up your stash and keep it at home. Cruisin’ the freeways of California with your bong in hand is not really considered an off-season conditioning program, is it? Besides, don’t you know it’s dangerous to drive and bong? Studies show that your bong is 63 per cent more likely to break in a car as opposed to a VW van. — TM

All or Nothing Award

How’d you like an autographed card of a player who smacked a dinger two-thirds of the time he got a hit?

If you blinked, you might have missed the retirement of Ryan Jorgensen in February. A seventh round pick by the Cubs in 2000, he spent nine seasons in the minors and parts of three seasons in the majors. All told, he accumulated 20 major league at bats, getting a mere three career hits. Now here’s the kicker – two of those hits left the yard. Jeez, do some projections on that, and Jorgensen would make Rob Deer look like a singles hitter. — RR

Manager of the Year Award

How does a manager win less than 40 per cent of his games, yet bag a three-year deal? Ask Manny Acta.

Mike Scioscia from the AL and Jim Tracy of the NL were certainly very deserving of the awards bestowed upon them this season in their respective leagues, but their accomplishments pale in comparison to Manny Acta. Anyone with a 158-252 career managerial record that can negotiate a three-year contract with an option year, is far and away the best in the business. It’s a good thing that Cleveland has the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame, because Regressive Field is not going to be a hot spot in 2009. — TM

The Understated Award

According to Bob Mevin, Brandon Webb’s health woe was “minor.”

While we’re on the topic of managers, if only Fantasy owners could hear what is truly being said by them. Take, for instance, what Arizona manager Bob Melvin had to say about his ace Brandon Webb back on March 2 in reaction to the fact that Webb had yet to appear in a Spring Training game: “It was a real minor thing.” Yup, making just one start and then spending the rest of the season on the DL sounds “real minor” to me, too. Okay, Melvin isn’t a doctor (he’s not even a toaster, which is a shame, because everyone loves Melvin the Toaster…oh, sorry, that’s Milton…never mind), but talk about understating a health problem. Perhaps the greatest invention yet to be conceived is the Fantasy Babel Fish, which will allow users to translate managerspeak into layman’s terms. — RR

Make Up Your Mind Award

After bouncing between the rotation and the pen, Brandon Morrow will be used as a lawn ornament next.

This is really more of a Lifetime Achievement Award, even though Brandon Morrow has only completed four professional seasons. Drafted by the Mariners in 2006, Morrow split his debut between Rookie and High-A ball, making five starts and two relief appearances. So…he was a starter. Right? In 2007, he actually got through an entire season in one role, making 60 appearances out of the pen for the M’s. Ah. Must be a reliever. But, of course, the long-term plan for Morrow wad always been that he’d be a starter. Oh. Okay. Never mind, then. In 2008, he was used exclusively as a reliever at Double-A, but then made five starts and one relief appearance at Triple-A. In the majors? Forty appearances out of the pen. So, he’s a reliever. Right? Oh, but he also made those five starts. Crap. And in 2009, Morrow was used as a starter at Triple-A, and also made 10 starts in Seattle. So clearly, he’s a starter. Right? Um…but what about those 16 relief appearances with the Mariners? Jeez, give the dude a permanent job, people! Now a Blue Jay, Morrow is scheduled to work out at third base in Winter Ball. — RR

The Whiplash Award

There’s a good chance this Brett Myers pitch is about to be sent into orbit.

Brett Myers, who has pretty much worked his way out of the Phillies’ plans thanks to his ineptitude (not to mention his wife-beating tendencies), bags this award for his greatest trick yet – giving up 18 home runs in just 70 2/3 IP. Just think about that for a moment.

A free agent now, Myers may want to instruct his agent to add a clause in his next contact that will provide him with shiatsu therapy services after each of his outings. Craning your neck back that far time and time again has got to hurt.

Braden Looper, who surrendered 39 (!) dingers in his one and only season in Milwaukee definitely deserves a shout out here as well. — RR

MASH Award

Billy Wagner is just another Met who spent most of the season on the DL, before getting dealt to Boston.

The New York Mets’ first season in Citi Field was not one for the ages. While their cross-town counterparts christened their new stadium with a World Series title, the Mets struggled through a 70-win season – their first losing effort after four straight winning years. They had no offense and no pitching. Oh, and their defense was no hell either. However, at the least the Mets have a pretty good excuse for sucking, given their ridiculous health woes this year. I’m not sure what was in the water coolers at Citi Field, but man, there was a serious curse over this club. The list of those afflicted reads like a who’s who: Carlos Delgado, Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Johan Santana, Billy Wagner, J.J. Putz, John Maine, Gary Sheffield, Oliver Perez (twice), Brian Schneider, Ryan Chruch, Tim Redding, Alex Cora (twice), Angel Pagan, Ramon Martinez, Fernando Martinez, Fernando Nieve, Jonathan Niese and Anderson Hernandez.

Things were so bad that in June, Reyes and Ray Ramirez – the team’s trainer – were rear-ended by a fire truck. I don’t even need to add anything to that. — RR

Valley Guy

Valley Guy, he’s a Valley Guy…

Okay, just what the hell was Conor Jackson up to that he contracted Valley Fever, costing him 15 pounds and most of the 2009 season? Also known by the pretty name of Coccidioidomycosis, Valley Fever is a fungal disease that can be transmitted through the air by inhaling spores. CoJack is expected to be back to full strength in 2010, and he’s currently hitting up a storm in the Dominican Winter League, but may we offer him some free advice? Steer clear of construction sites and farms for the next little while, Conor. — RR

Slow Starter Award

Bronson Arroyo is a brutal first-half pitcher, but he plays a mean tune in the second half.

Someone needs to put Red starter Bronson Arroyo into a deep freeze chamber over the first couple months of the season, or somehow convince him that it’s mid-July when it’s really April. How else are we going to tap into his brilliant second-half performances in a month other than July, August or September? Arroyo first showed signs of this disease in 2007, when he struggled to a 4.84 first half before turning it on with a sweet 3.55 second half. The following year, he was even worse to start the season, and his ERA was scraping 6.00 at the break, before recording a mark of under 3.50 in the second half. This season, it was more of the same for Arroyo, as he put up an ERA of nearly five and a half in the first half. After the break, however, he was one of the best in the biz, recording a 2.24 ERA. If nothing else, may I suggest that Arroyo is a prime trade target for around early July? — RR

Clubhouse Cancer

Vicente Padilla was such a pink taco that the Rangers told him to screw off.

This year’s Clubhouse Cancer Award has to go to Vicente Padilla, who was such a distraction, that he was essentially told to bugger off by the Texas Rangers, despite the fact the they were in the middle of a pennant race. He pitched very well for the Dodgers down the stretch, likely doing enough to sucker some team into signing him as a free agent. Hey, Washington is always looking to make a smart move (more on that below). — RR

Schizo Award

Was Brad Lidge anally probed when the aliens abducted him?

If you’re looking for proof of the existence of extraterrestrials, look no further than Brad Lidge’s work this year compared to 2008. If he wasn’t stolen by aliens, how else do you explain what happened to Lidge this year? Let’s see…in 2008, Lidge was perhaps the best closer in the game: in 69 1/3 IP, surrendering just 50 hits, two homers and 35 walks while striking out 92. He went 2-0, was a perfect 41-for-41 in save chances and had an ERA of 1.95. This season, in just 58 2/3 IP, he surrendered 72 hits, 11 homers and 34 walks while fanning just 61. His record was 0-8 and he saved just 31-of-42 chances with an ERA of 7.21. Can you spot the difference? Lidge may not be ready to start 2010 after off-season surgery, and even if he is healthy, do the Phils want him back as their closer? — RR

Remind Me Again Why You Suck Award

For some reason, the Nats felt the need to ink I-Rod to a two-year deal.

The Washington Nationals have recorded back-to-back 59-win seasons, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why they suck so bad. Oh, that’s right. They give out crappy contracts.

Let’s see…we’ve got a promising young catcher in Jesus Flores, but a massive need for pitching help. What should we do? I know! Let’s invest $6 million for two years worth of 38-year-old catcher Ivan Rodriguez’s time. And in the process, we can block Flores. I get that I-Rod is a veteran capable of calming a young pitching staff, but a two-year deal? Other than as a headline-grabbing ploy, I don’t see the merit in this deal.

BY ANDY GOLDSTEIN, DEREK JONES AND HERIJA GREEN

Well, it’s almost time to put the penguin suit and sequined gown away for another year, but first we cap our 2008 awards extravaganza with some pigskin hardware. Welcome to the 2008 RotoRob Football Awards. Those of you who missed out on the rest of our awards special (i.e., for those who just crawled out from underneath a rock) here you go: baseball, basketball and hockey.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

DeAngelo Williams, Carolina Panthers: Prior to fantasy drafts taking place last August, if I had told you Williams would finish the season as the most productive back statistically, I probably would have been committed to the nearest mental institution. But the fact is, Williams carried the load for fantasy teams during the most critical time of the year. In his last five games, he posted two four-touchdown games, along with three 100-yard rushing performances. He rushed for 1,515 yards and scored 20 touchdowns, but also displayed the ability to turn short gains into long ones. Prior to the season’s start, conventional wisdom stated that Williams would split carries with rookie teammate Jonathan Stewart. Instead, after initially sharing time with Stewart, Williams rode his wave of his success towards a career year. When discussing the Fantasy Stud of the Year, Williams was the most consistent performer at season’s end with seven 100-yard efforts in his last nine games. He’ll be a first round pick in 2009 fantasy drafts, without a doubt.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Willis McGahee ran plenty of fantasy teams afoul in 2008.

Willis McGahee, Baltimore Ravens: A case can be made for LaDainian Tomlinson here, but we’ll deal with LT later. No, the true dud of ‘08 was on many pre-season top 10 lists. McGahee takes the cake for truly letting fantasy owners down this season. Not only could he not completely hold off rookie Ray Rice in the preseason, but he basically lost the starting gig to some guy named Le’Ron McClain after an injury. Awesome. McGahee finished 32nd for running backs in standard scoring and all the way down to 38th in yardage heavy leagues. Once the season ended, the griping started as McGahee blamed a rift between him and the coaching staff for his lackluster play. So this former Hurricane pushed himself out of Buffalo because of the dull nightlife and now is on the outs in Baltimore as well. Logically, the only place where McGahee might succeed is New England.

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Matt Forte earned plenty of attention for his rookie exploits.

This one is pretty much a no brainer, as Chicago’s Matt Forte positioned himself to be a first-round fantasy pick in 2009 with a great rookie campaign. The Tulane alum was the focal point of the Bear offense, racking up 1,715 total yards with a dozen touchdowns. His skills as a receiver out of the backfield – he set a team rookie record with 63 receptions – makes him even more valuable in point-per-reception leagues. While he may have been denied the NFL hardware because of a certain quarterback in Atlanta, Forte was unquestionably the fantasy star of the 2008 draft.

Honourable Mention: Although he was more explosive than Forte, the Titan Chris Johnson lost too many goal line carries (and deep fried Twinkies) to LenDale White (15 rushing touchdowns) to overtake Forte for the top spot. Still, he averaged nearly five yards per carry and found the end zone 10 times. He’ll be a borderline first- or second-round pick next season.

Others of Note: “Matty Ice” himself — Atlanta’s Matt Ryan, the Lions’ Kevin Smith and Denver’s Eddie Royal all put themselves firmly on the fantasy map for 2009.

Fantasy Comeback Player of the Year

Antonio Bryant overcame DUI charges and drug issues to earn coveted RR hardware.

Antonio Bryant, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Depending on your league’s scoring system, it’s likely that Bryant finished in the top five for receivers with his brilliant second half of the season. After not playing during 2007 and gaining only 733 yards in ’06 as a 49er, Bryant stormed onto the scene in ’08 with the Bucs and left a considerable impact on the team’s passing game. He brought a ray of light to an otherwise rag tag group of receivers.

Bryant tallied six 100-yard receiving games in ‘08, including a 200-yard effort versus Carolina, and scored seven touchdowns on the season. After floundering in San Francisco, Dallas and Cleveland, Bryant found a home in Tampa Bay.

Fantasy Saviour of the Year

Matt Cassel sure helped saved plenty of fantasy owners’ bacon. Mmmmm…bacon.

Well, when you take over at the helm of a record-setting offense I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise when you’re also the player who tipped the balance of power in numerous 2008 fantasy leagues. The Patriots’ Matt Cassel made himself a very wealthy man with his performance this past season, passing for 3,693 yards and 21 touchdowns, including 14 in his last six full games. It’s anyone’s guess at this point whether he’ll hold any value next year – New England still has that Tom Brady guy – but he came through big time last season.

Honourable Mention: It was a great year for signal callers to either bounce back (Chad Pennington) or emerge (Tyler Thigpen, Ryan), but let’s think outside the box for our runner up and go with Tampa Bay’s Bryant (who took home hardware of his own as we awarded above). The dude wasn’t even in the league last year and finished ‘08 with 83 receptions for 1,248 yards and seven scores. Not bad for someone who was probably owned in less than 1 per cent of leagues after the first two games of the season.

Others of Note: The QB trio mentioned above (Pennington, Thigpen and Ryan), Baltimore’s McClain, and New Orleans’ Pierre Thomas and Lance Moore.

Fantasy Scourge of the Year

Well, at least LT was stylin’ off the field.

LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers: A fantasy scourge isn’t just a high draft pick that does poorly, it’s a player who actively contributes to losing fantasy teams. This could be a goal line vulture of a potential top player (LenDale White, for example), or it could be a top pick like Tomlinson. LT just wasn’t the same this season and that’s probably because of the turf toe injury he suffered early in the season. Or maybe the lack of off-season training really set him back. Had Tomlinson just taken a few weeks off and come back strong, he wouldn’t have received this dubious distinction. But he played through the injury, inconsistently bouncing from impact weeks to completely useless ones. All told, Tomlinson left many fantasy owners high and dry this season. And the kicker? In Week 17, when every respectable fantasy league is already done, Tomlinson went off for three scores. Now that’s a kick in the crotch.

BY DANIEL OLSON, HERIJA GREEN AND ROTOROB

And we’re back! After regaling you with our hockey and baseball awards, we roll out the red carpet over the hardwood floors to bring you the 2008 RotoRob Basketball Awards. Let the hardware flow!

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics: Ask and ye shall receive. Kevin Garnett just wanted to win, and the former Kid, getting up there in age, was no longer one. The 2007 offseason saw him traded to a Boston team who had sent a massive package to Minny that was built around young stud Al Jefferson. The Celtics then continued to trade, adding TAFKA Supersonic Ray Allen (that’s The Artist Formerly Known As by the way), giving Beantown a “Big Three” in Allen, Garnett, and incumbent Paul Pierce. Garnett didn’t disappoint, leading the Celtics to an outstanding 66-16 record which is even more amazing considering their head coach is Doc “Sleepy” Rivers, who just the previous season guided them to a 24-58 record and a last place finish in the Atlantic Division. Now granted, Garnett had help with Allen and Pierce in Boston, but he was the real deal and the main reason in this writer’s humble opinion the championship was won. While from a purely fantasy perspective, there were much better performances (how about LeBron James’s season? Or the total dominance of Chris Paul? Or the amazing comeback that Dwyane Wade has made this season? Or the continued escalation into elite status of Danny Granger? Or the beast that is Dwight Howard?), KG did average 18.8 points and 9.2 rebounds last season, while doing the little things to help lead his Celtics to the 2007-08 championship. Even when the C’s made a late season pick up of E.T. (aka, Sam Cassell), Garnett wasn’t rattled and continued his stellar season. A complete player his whole career, Garnett continued his dishing out assists like candy to a trick-or-treater and denying shots like the Soup Nazi denies his beloved broth. A first championship for Garnett and the other two-thirds of the Three Amigos earns The Big Ticket the 2008 Stud of the Year Award.

Daps also must be given to King James, who had another outstanding season, as well as Kobe Bryant who helped lead the surprising Lakers to the Western Conference Title before they bowed out to the Celtics.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Bling, including a shiny new RotoRob Golden Athletic Supporter, is something Starbury has plenty of. It is fantasy value where he is lacking.

Stephon Marbury, New York Knicks: What’s better, the Starbury $10 dollar sneaker line or Starbury’s game on the court? I’m going with the sneaker. The 2007-2008 season saw Marbury throw up stinkers every game, averaging a career low 13.9 pointes per game while only dishing out just over four assists per game. He also shot a miniscule 41.9 per cent from the field, which was actually an improvement over the season before, but will hardly help you bag a FG win in your fantasy league. Marbury helped lead to the exit of former coach Isiah Thomas (although Thomas was a turd even without Starbury), and another terrible record for the New York Knickerbockers. Fast forward to the current 2008-2009 season with new coach Mike D’antoni and his run and gun offense. D’antoni didn’t see Starbury fit in his offense (but really, what offense does he fit in? Don’t do it, Boston) and benched him for the start of the season. Because of injuries and inactive players, the Knicks only had seven players available in a November contest, but Starbury refused to suit up and play. How the hell do you have to pay a guy who makes over $20 million dollars and refuses to suit up and play for the legendary Knicks? Not only is Starbury a dud over the course of two seasons, his clothing looks ridiculous.

Okay, I’m done with you, Starbury. Apologies go to the cheeseburger eating Sean May of the Bobcats who has eaten his way out of the lineup; Ben Wallace, who somehow bagged himself a ludicrous contract and wound up on a team in which he shows how terrible he really is; and Smush Parker for continually sucking as well as having the name “Smush.”

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Kevin Durant dunked himself to top rookie honours.

As much as I’d like to give this award to Al Horford, the development of Kevin Durant this season pushes him over the top. The 6-foot-9 forward has dramatically improved his shot from beyond the arc – 28.8 per cent as a rookie, 44.8 per cent this year – which has helped to push his scoring average to 23.7 points per game. His rebounding is up, too, though his turnover numbers are still too high. It’s hard to nitpick about the 20-year-old’s game too much, and he is certainly deserving of top rookie honours in fantasy hoops.

Honourable Mention: I love Horford’s all-around game, and he has quietly almost doubled his assist and block totals from his rookie year while now shooting better than 51 per cent. His rebounding and scoring numbers have stagnated or even fallen, however, which helped make Durant the choice.

Others of Note: Derrick Rose and O.J. Mayo have both made major impacts, but I just couldn’t see picking either of them over Durant (or Horford for that matter) with such a small sample size. Both have exceeded my expectations, particularly Mayo, who is averaging better than 20 points per game and still shooting a respectable 46 per cent from the field.

Fantasy Comeback Player of the Year

While RJ addressed the whole coming out of the closet rumours by posing with hotties, he was earning Comeback Player of the Year honours.

Following an injury plagued 2006-07 season, Richard Jefferson bounced back in 2007-08 to re-establish himself among the league’s better small forwards. After averaging just 16.3 points per game in ‘06-07, Jefferson tallied a career-high 22.7 PPG last season and is totaling 17.7 per contest this year. His rebounding has never returned to his pre-2006 form, but he’s hovering right around five boards per night since joining the Bucks. RJ’s overall shooting is down (42.7 per cent), though he is enjoying his best year from beyond the arc (39.8 per cent). It was a close call, but Jefferson gets the nod in a tight race over Baron Davis.

Honourable Mention: Last season, Davis stayed healthy for the first time since 2001-02 and filled up box scores to the tune of 21.8 points, 4.7 rebounds and 7.6 assists per game. His numbers, particularly his shooting, have taken a dip since relocating to Hollywood, but B-Diddy is still returning good value (when healthy, which he currently isn’t).

Others of Note: Brad Miller averaged 13.4 points and 9.5 boards in ‘07-08 after managing just 9.0 and 6.4 the previous season…After playing just 13 games in 2006-07, Peja Stojakovic played in 77 games last season, tying for the NBA lead in three-pointers made per game and averaging 16.4 points.

Don’t Try This in Bed Award

No Bull — Derrick Rose needs to learn some lessons on the dangers of knives in the bedroom.

Bulls rookie Derrick Rose missed out on our Fantasy Rookie of the Year honours, but he gets a Golden Athletic Supporter for opening a gash on his own arm by rolling onto a knife while in bed. Uh, yeah…what you do in your spare time is your business, Derrick. He said he was carving an apple in bed, and supposedly he simply left the knife in bed with him, rolling onto it and slashing himself to the tune of a 10-stitch cut. Here’s a tip, Mr. Rose: if you ever father a baby, don’t bring the tot to bed with you. I would also advise against bringing your pet jellyfish into your bed. For that matter, a land mine would be a poor choice for a bed companion too. And whatever you do, do not share your bed with a Brazilian Wandering Spider.

Lame-Ass Timing Award

When Carlos Boozer opens his gargantuan mouth, stupid things come out.

While we’re dispensing advice, here’s a juicy piece of it for Carlos Boozer: timing is everything, man. Boozer, sidelined for weeks with a knee injury with no clear return date in sight, proclaimed that he was going to opt out of his contract after this season and seek the best possible deal. Um, dude…everyone is already frustrated with you because you can’t stay healthy (some have suggested he’s not exactly motivated to return), and now you’re talking about heading for greener pastures and more money? Jazz owner Larry Miller took particular exception and didn’t hide his disgust, saying “It’s one of the top 10 stupidest things I’ve heard an NBA player do in 20 years.” Unfortunately, we don’t know what else made Miller’s top 10 list (perhaps we’ll do some research on that one), but we do know that Boozer isn’t exactly the Polygamist State’s favourite son these days.

Quote of the Year

When Jarvis Hayes (22) isn’t teaming up with Brook Lopez to gang rape Vince Carter, he can be found dragging midgets around. (AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

New Jersey Nets forward Jarvis Hayes suffered a hamstring injury which knocked him out of action for a few games earlier this season. This is how he tried to explain the pain: “Sometimes you get out and try to run and it feels like a midget pulling on your coattails.” Um…okay. Now, how exactly do you know how that feels, Jarvis? Anything you want to tell us? Regardless of his sexual (or other) exploits with extremely short people, kudos to Hayes for straying from the typical bland media-speak quotes.

Stalkee of the Year

Apparently, Luke Walton’s wife beater sends the ladies into a tizzy. And by tizzy I mean murderous rampage.

Los Angeles Laker forward Luke Walton has never really managed to put much of a dent in the NBA star machine, especially considering his famous sire. Just try telling that to Stacy Elizabeth Beshear, who apparently doesn’t realize that Walton is a middling NBAer, as he is her main man, so much so that she was arrested for stalking him. In mid-September, when Beshear pulled up near Walton’s car and pretended to fire a gun at him with her hand, he had decided he had seen enough. Apparently, for about a year, Beshear had been following Walton and parking outside his house for hours. He claims she also vandalized his car with a marker after he refused to give her an autograph. The fake gun thing was the clincher for Walton, who came to the realization that Beshear was potentially dangerous. I’m not exactly sure what Walton’s problem was – don’t most athletes want to have fans? And this dude goes and get his only fan busted.

Pillsbury Doughboy Award

We would never accuse Don Nelson as being gutless.

Fiery, irascible and unpredictable Don Nelson finally admitted that life as an NBA coach is getting to him. After witnessing his Warriors get bitch-slapped time and time again thanks to the NBA’s most porous defense (a defense that had held its opponents to under 100 points just four times in 27 tries), Nellie decided he had seen enough and handed the defensive responsibilities of the team over to two of his assistant coaches. “I’m not tough enough anymore,” said the 68-year-old. “I’m getting soft as I get older and I feel like I haven’t done a very good job defensively this year.” To anyone who has (a) take a recent gander at Nelson’s protruding waistline; or (b) watched even two minutes of Golden State basketball this season, these two statements are rather self-evident. But thanks for clarifying things for us, coach!

The Inspiring Confidence Award

Okay, so explain to me again what I do with this orange thingy?

The Sacramento Kings, once one of the most consistent winners in the NBA, have obviously fallen on hard times in recent years. While they showed some improvement last season thanks to a better offense, everything has fallen apart this year as the team stands on the verge of a major overhaul. The King offense sucks; the King defense sucks. In fact, veteran centre Brad Miller summed up the entire situation quite nicely with this gem: “A lot of times we really don’t even know what we are doing,” he said. Now, that’s a good way to inspire confidence in your team. When in doubt, admit complete futility.

BY DANIEL OLSON, TIM McLEOD AND ROTOROB

We continue our third annual awards today with the release of the baseball honours. Hockey can be found here, and basketball and football will follow shortly.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Josh Hamilton, OF, Texas Rangers: Rick James once said “Cocaine is a helluva’ drug.” Nobody knows this better then Hambone. After being selected as the first overall pick by the Tampa Bay Rays, Hamilton struggled with his drug addiction and nearly hit rock bottom while being out of the big leagues. Fortunately for him, he overcame his addiction and made it back to the big leagues in 2007 with the Cincinnati Reds and had a very successful campaign, batting .292 with 19 home runs and 47 RBI in only 90 games. That offseason he was dealt to the Texas Rangers for phenom Edison Volquez in what would prove to be one of the most equal trades in the history of the world. While the pitching-starved Rangers likely could have used Volquez, I’m sure they were plenty satisfied with the Hambino. He batted .304 with 32 home runs and an AL-leading 130 RBI for the GW Bush Rangers last season. You gotta feel bad for the guy being on the Rangers, who haven’t won anything since 1876, but he still had a monster 2008 and all indications are he’s primed for a solid 2009.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

How many of you had September 2 written down for the date of V-Mart’s first dinger? Can you say dud?

Victor Martinez, Cleveland Indians: As the premier catcher in baseball heading into the 2008 campaign (after all, he was coming off of a monster 25-homer, 114-RBI season in 2007), Martinez’s collapse did irreparable damage to many a fantasy team this past season. When one invests early in a catcher in fantasy drafts and he proceeds to hit his first homer of the season on September 2, it is not a good sign. In 2008, V-Mart shattered more fantasy dreams than Freddy Krueger, earning him the distinction of being our Fantasy Dud of the Year.

Honourable mention: J.J. Putz, Chris Young (pick one, they both killed you), Rafael Furcal, Carl Crawford, Eric Byrnes, David Ortiz and Erik Bedard.

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Geovany Soto’s stick and glove earned him a RotoRob Award.

Geovany Soto, Chicago Cubs: In a year filled with great performances from first-year players, two youngsters stood out above the rest. Soto and Evan Longoria, the respective ROY winners in both the NL and AL in 2008, had truly great first campaigns. Not to take anything away from the great year by Longoria, but we have to toss our support behind Soto for the 2008 RotoRob Rookie of the Year Award. In 2008, he finished tied for first in homers by a catcher with 23, third in RBI with 86, fourth with a .285 BA and second with an OPS of 874. In fact, Soto was one of only three catchers to finish the season with an OPS above 800. Truly outstanding statistics – especially for a young backstop — but the clincher has to be the way he handled himself behind the plate. Soto’s catcher ERA was a solid third overall at 3.82, and his scant five errors contributed to a great .995 fielding percentage. Soto is a truly deserving winner and is a cornerstone of what should be another strong Cubbies team heading into 2009.

Honourable Mentions: Longoria, Joey Votto, Jair Jurrjens, Alexei Ramirez and Jacoby Ellsbury.

Fantasy Comeback Player of the Year

Cliff Lee’s Cy Young season earned him the nod as our Comeback Player of the Year.

Cliff Lee, SP, Cleveland Indians: Where oh where did Mr. Lee come from? A disappointing 2007 season saw Lee go 5-8 with a 6.29 ERA. Compare that to a 22-3 record with a 2.54 ERA and you might find yourself scratching your head in a bit wishing you had drafted him in your fantasy league. Lee’s incredible season in ‘08 earned him the AL Cy Young Award as well as a shot at a fat new contract. He had shown glimpses of being great, but a dismal ‘07 season left expectations at a minuscule level heading into 2008. He clearly found his inner Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn for the Indians this season and didn’t even lose a game until mid May. Even more impressive, Lee struck out 170 batters while only walking 34 throughout the campaign. Pretty damn impressive, if you ask me. While the Indians missed the playoffs last season, if Lee can continue his magic this coming season, he’ll give his Indians a great shot at competing for the AL Central title. Miracles can happen and a change in your routine can help your game, and yes I’m talking to you, Carlos Silva (a winner of a less desired RotoRob Award…see below).

The Anita Ward Award

Nothing screams Wall Street like Mitch Williams and salsa.

For some bizarre reason, Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams, the former Phillie closer, was asked to ring the NASDAQ opening bell on August 29. Now the owner of Wild Thing 99 Foods, which manufactures Williams’ own recipes (including his apparently famous salsa), Williams bags the Anita Ward (remember her classic, “You Can Ring My Bell”?) Award for this strange brew of horrible control, high finance and salsa. Mix them all together and you got a disco party ballgame during which the Wild Thing got confused and wound up throwing the bell at the NASDAQ mascot, missing by 30 feet. Fortunately, the financial gurus hit into a double play on the next pitch and Williams held on for the shaky save. Salsa wrestling by disco ball soon ensued and a good time was had by all. Okay, so most of this is completely fabricated, but damn, it’s so weird, I just went with it.

Vendor of the Year

Sure you can have a beer, kid…just don’t tell your daddy who gave it to you.

This summer, there was a major outcry at Rogers Centre, home of the Blue Jays, after one of the stadium’s most venerable vendors was fired because he failed to ask for ID when selling beer to a 22-year-old. Wayne McMahon, who is 61, but looks about 81 (clearly, he’s sampled a few of his own products from time to time), was most famous as the dude who would chant “ice cooooooooooooold beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer” — a marketing ploy that always seemed to please Jay fans (did I mention how boring Blue Jay games can be?). The whole episode was sting-like in its operation, as Aramark, the company that oversees concessions at the Rogers Centre, had planted a mystery shopper well in the middle of the aisle, and McMahon served him a beer without asking for ID to prove he was of drinking age. (Company policy is to card anyone who appears to be under the age of 30; come to think of it, why haven’t I been carded?) So what do you expect? The dude in question was 16 seats from the aisle and McMahon said that one of the people sitting on the aisle asked him to send along the beers. How do you expect this aging ale hawker to even be able to see that far, never mind actually identify that it was a human he was selling beer to, as opposed to, say, a lemur? The whole episode caused quite a stir in Toronto (I did mention how bored people are there, right?), and McMahon was never able to get his gig back, even though he secured the services of a lawyer. Hell, even a Facebook page was created to draw up support for the cause. At one point, the damn thing had over 23,000 members! That’s more people than are usually in attendance at a Jay game, unless Boston or the Yanks are in town. Well, at least there was some excitement at the Toronto ball park last season.

The Throwing Good Money at Bad Award

Carlos Silva a $45 million man? Uh, ya.

Too many burritos and enchilada platters for Carlos Silva led to a disappointing season and the unfortunate distinction of winning (on behalf of the Mariners) the 2008 Throwing Good Money at Bad Award. Silva signed a huge off-season contract with Seattle for four years and $45 million dollars, but this isn’t what the Em City faithful had in mind. April started off well enough for the veteran right hander as he 3-0 with a 2.79 ERA, tricking Mariner GM Bill Bavasi into thinking he was a genius. But then Silva showed his true ugly self for the rest of the season. May saw him go 0-5 with an ERA ballooning to over six. The rest of the season didn’t go any better as Silva must have found himself at the Taco Bell much too often and he finished the season with a pathetic 4-15 record and a 6.46 ERA. For $45 million, maybe the Mariners should let me pitch, as I could probably have comparable stats to those terrible numbers. Beyond Silva’s terrible season (other than April), he began to lash out to the media that his teammates didn’t back him or support him. Um…duh! You throw meatballs to the plate and allowed 20 home runs this season, dude. Silva seems to be another classic case of get a huge contract and get an even larger diet, earning him this dubious distinction for 2008. You Yankee fans better hope C.C. Sabathia’s appetite doesn’t continue to grow and he goes all Carlos Silva on you. (Come to think of it, if Sabathia got any bigger, he could take on Mothra).

Clubhouse Karma Award

Even winning a coveted RotoRob Award didn’t impress Manny.

Manny Ramirez, Boston Red Sox: You have to be a lock for this award when the whole team pulls a mutiny on you, although it was well deserved. Shoving road secretary Jack McCormick to the ground over a dispute involving free tickets, insulting team ownership through the media, failing to run out ground balls, and even rumours that he was faking a knee injury all led to the players deciding it just wasn’t worth it to be a part of the constant distraction that had come to be known as Manny being Manny.

Honourable Mention: J.P. Ricciardi (for his ongoing support of integrity when dealing with the media).

Best Seat in the House Award

Do we even need a funny cutline for this?

How could we ever deny Madge her rightful spot in our year-end celebration? Who really has the best seat in the house? Madonna, of course! In a summer dominated by the constant rumours surrounding Mad-Rod, she put in an appearance at a Yankee home game, adding more fuel to the fire. Of course, there were the customary denials by all concerned, but in just a bit of a coincidence, six months later they’re both divorced. With Madonna at his side, I’m sure Alex Rodriguez will be getting to first base on a regular basis in 2009!

Pain in the Ass Award

Kaz Matsui’s cracked crack received plenty of scrutiny in 2008.

Kaz Matsui, Houston Astros: Okay guys, when I have to head to Web-MD to try to sort this one out, it really is a pain in the butt. When Matsui hit the DL in April with the anal fissure injury it ensured him infamy and a spot in our 2008 rewards. By the way, for those of you who are anal about details, here are some nuggets on what an anal fissure is, courtesy of Wipe-epida (er, I mean Wikipedia): “An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the skin of the anal canal. Anal fissures may be noticed by bright red anal bleeding on the toilet paper, sometimes in the toilet. If acute they may cause severe periodic pain after defecation.” Kudos to Kaz for bringing the term ‘pain in the ass’ to a whole new level.

You Got Punk’d Award

Small wonder Kyle Kendrick sucked in 2008 after the team screwed with his head.

Kyle Kendrick, Philadelphia Philles: In what had to be one of the best orchestrated gags we’ve seen in a long time, in Spring Training, Brett Myers and half the Phillies organization tricked Kendrick into believing he was traded to a Japanese team. Hell, even the media was in on the gag, as a press conference was held to make the announcement. Of course, if the Phils had any idea how crappy Kendrick would be in 2008, perhaps they would have really gone through with the deal. It was a great practical joke without a doubt, but in a bit of a ‘what goes around comes around’ turn of events, it was Myers who was the one that actually got shipped out, although only to Triple-A to sort out his own crappy game. Looks good on ya, Brett! Let’s hope you didn’t take your anger out on your wife this time.

Take Me Out of the Ball Game Award

When the Jays brought in David Eckstein to make their lineup more dangerous, little did they know the little guy would be this dangerous.

David Eckstein, Toronto Blue Jays: For the paltry sum of $4.5 million, Super-Smurf David Eckstein managed his most solid hit of the season on his own second baseman, Aaron Hill, effectively removing him from the roster for the balance of the season. On the positive side, it was pretty much the only thing he did hit in 2008: One home run, 23 RBI, 27 runs scored and two steals from the man that was supposed to put some spark into the top of the Jays batting order? Finally dispatched to Arizona at the trade deadline, sadly, Eck was one of GM J.P. Ricciardi’s better acquisitions.

Snowblind in the North Award

This is the clumsy fool you take fantasy advice from? Tim coveted our Golden Athletic Supporter Award so much, that he actually took to wearing one. At least his wife makes kick ass cookies.

Tim McLeod, Team RotoRob: Seeing as how I’m doing my best job at dissing any and everyone I can, I’d be very remiss if I didn’t bring up a personal highlight from the 2008 season. To quote yours truly from my pre-season sleeper picks, “Someone is going to win some games in Washington this year and Jason Bergmann could very well be that man.” What in the Sam’s Hell was I thinking? Or rather, what in the hell was I smoking? On the other hand I did mention how much I liked that Cuban middle-infielder Alexei Ramirez, so all was not lost. Hey, .500 may not win you a pennant, but dammit, it will win you a batting title every freaking time!

By MIKE CHEN and STEVEN OVADIA

Welcome to the third annual RotoRob Fantasy Awards, one of the most magical times of the year when our writers get to make their picks in various important and other not-so-vital categories. There’s not a player alive who doesn’t dream of taking home a prestigious RotoRob Golden Supporter. This year, we kick off our awards gala by handing out the hockey hardware. Baseball, Basketball and Football will follow in short order.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh Penguins: Sure, pretty boy Sid gets all of the press, but Malkin’s the man who stepped it up when Crosby went down with a high-ankle sprain (we won’t mention that Crosby stepped it up in the playoffs while Malkin slowed down as each series progressed). Malkin continued his hot streak into this season, where he and Crosby are neck-and-neck for the NHL scoring race.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Maybe Ilya Kovalchuk would score more if he donned different duds.

Ilya Kovalchuk, Atlanta Thrashers: Okay, so you can look at Kovalchuk in the calendar year of 2008 and say, “Hey, that dude’s not too bad. He’s a point-per-game player.” That’s the problem — in a lot of pools, Kovalchuk isn’t drafted to be a point-per-game player, he’s a highly drafted goal-scoring machine. And his numbers simply aren’t reflecting that. In the 2007-08 season, Kovalchuk’s numbers (and his interest in the game) seemingly dipped when BFF Marian Hossa left for greener pastures in Pittsburgh. This season, Kovalchuk is putting up more assists than ever but his goal-scoring still needs a surge. Whether he just needs a shot of Red Bull/vodka or if he needs to don different duds, something’s gotta change for him to return to form.

Fantasy Rookie of the First Half 2008-09

Steve Mason has wasted no time showing he’s a legitimate NHL goaltender. (AP Photo by Jay LaPrete)

Steve Mason, Columbus Blue Jackets: Finding a reliable starting goalie is pretty damn hard in this league. Finding a guy that makes an impact in his first season while not being able to legally drink booze? That’s even tougher. When Pascal Leclaire went down with an injury, Mason stepped in. A star in the Canadian junior circuit, all Mason’s done is brought the Blue Jackets back to the cusp of the playoffs with a wicked glove hand and quick pad saves. Despite his excellent season last year, Leclaire is struggling to stave off the rook, and one look at the numbers will tell you why — Leclaire’e GAA is almost exactly double that of Mason (3.83 vs. 1.92). ‘Nuff said.

Fantasy Comeback Player of the Year

Patrick Marleau sure has shaken off the demons of 2007.

Patrick Marleau, San Jose Sharks: It’s hard to find a top-level player who had a worse 2007 than Marleau. Butting heads with the coach, public floggings, trade rumours, and a dismal start to the season; it all looked downhill from there. Around February 2008, Marleau got his head out of his butt, became a point-per-game player again, finally grew into that whole leadership thing in the playoffs, and is one of the top offensive players in the league for the 2008-09 season. Don’t call it a comeback? Nah, we’ll call it a comeback.

The Fantasy Isn’t Reality Award

And the winner is: the Tampa Bay Lightning. You know how fantasy owners constantly say, “Man, I could manage better than those guys.” In Tampa Bay, you’ve got owners running their team like a
fantasy team, and you know what? It’s failing miserably! In fantasy, you can make roster moves every day and the only thing that shifts is your starting lineup. Try that in real life and you’ll find that budgets, team morale, and locker-room chemistry are about as consistent as Sean Avery’s mood. Should you find yourself in the lucky situation of owning a major league sports franchise, try to hold back your desire to manage it like a fantasy team — you’ll be better off for it.

The Buyer’s Remorse Award

How bad do you think the Stars wish they still had Mike Smith?

Yeah, that sad-sack Tampa Bay Lighting sure isn’t winning but it’s not Mike Smith’s fault. The young goaltender has taken the ball and run with it, putting up one of the league’s best save percentages — all the more significant considering how awful his defense is. Meanwhile, in Dallas, who jettisoned Smith for centre Brad Richards, Marty Turco’s season has been a laughing stock and Richards isn’t exactly threatening any scoring records. Since Turco couldn’t stop a beach ball earlier in the season (he’s gotten better lately), you think the Stars wish they still had Smith?

Kiss of Death Award

Eric Brewer has a tendency of winding up in the hole.

All defensemen have bad nights, but how many have nights as often as St. Louis’ Eric Brewer? He finished last season at -18 and this season he’s a -14. No defenseman in the NHL finished last season in the bottom 10 of +/- and is also still in the bottom 10 now. Opposing teams must breathe a small sigh of relief when they see Brewer hop over the boards. Oh, we should say something nice about the kid; alright, he’s already got a goal this season, matching his season total from a year ago. Woo hoo!

Tiger Williams Award

Daniel Carcillo has pummeled his share of opponents into pulp.

Phoenix’s Daniel Carcillo has managed to put up very impressive penalty minutes without playing a ton of games. At the end of last season, he had 324 penalty minutes in just 57 games, an average of 5.7 minutes a game. This season he’s slowed down a bit, with a mere 87 minutes in 29 games, an average of just three minutes a game. We guess Carcillo will be setting his sights on the Lady Byng soon. Unfortunately, his production (13 goals, 24 points last season) has slipped (just two goals and four points this season) along with his prodigious sin bin exploits.

Department of Redundancy Department Award

What was Hawk GM Dale Tallon (right) thinking when he inked Cristobal Huet?

The Chicago Blackhawks picked up goalie Cristobal Huet in the offseason, even though they still had Nikolai Khabibulin signed for another year. The Hawks dubbed Huet their number one goalie, even as they didn’t trade Khabibulin. Khabibulin has outplayed Huet and Chicago seems content to pay a sick amount for dueling goalies. You know. Rather than maybe look into filling weaknesses in their lineup.

MVP

Chase Utley, Philadelphia, 2B: The best in the business at second base has continued his offensive prowess this year and has certainly fulfilled that pre-season top ten ranking. Utley is currently on pace to establish new highs in virtually all offensive categories. Is a 40-homer, 20-stolen base year in the works for 2008?

Hanley Ramirez, Florida, SS: Well, it looks like the shoulder healed just fine this past offseason. A .311 BA with 23 homers, 23 stolen bases and an NL-leading 80 runs scored certainly justifies that top three pick status heading into this year. The Marlins are currently five games over .500 and Ramirez is a big reason for that success.

Ryan Howard, Philadephia, 1B: Okay, the guy can’t hit for average but when you are leading the league in both home runs and RBI, it is certainly something that we can tolerate. Howard has amassed 28 dingers and 84 RBI at the break, demonstrating why he is one of the most feared pure power hitters in the game today.

Lance Berkman, Houston, 1B: The power potential was obvious, but where did those 15 stolen bases come from? Berkman’s previous high was nine, way back in 2004. A .347 BA, 22 homers, 73 RBI and a OPS of 1096 with those surprising thefts, leaves Berkman in a class with very few others this year.

Jose Reyes, New York Mets, SS: The stir that straws the drink for the Mets, Reyes is enjoying a very solid 2008. The power that was missing in 2007 has returned with ten homers to date, and those 32 thefts currently have him sitting in third spot in the NL. The Mets are in a virtual tie for first place in their division, and one of the biggest reasons is the resurgence of a well-rounded Reyes.

CY YOUNG

Brandon Webb, Arizona, SP: Ranked as one of the top starting pitchers in baseball heading into this year, Webb has done nothing to disappoint in the first half. He is currently the NL leader in wins with 13 at the break. Toss in the fact that he’s also in the top 10 with a 3.23 ERA and 112 strikeouts and you have an elite starting pitcher. If the Diamondbacks are going to be at the top of the heap come October they are going to need more of the same from Webb in the second half.

Tim Lincecum, San Francisco, SP: The kid is for real beyond any shadow of a doubt. Lincecum is currently leading the NL with 135 strikeouts, second with a 2.57 ERA and those 11 wins represent 28 per cent of the total Giant wins this season. For those who believed, the rewards have been huge.

Edinson Volquez, Cincinnati, SP: Volquez was acquired this past off-season for none other than Josh Hamilton. Talk about a win-win trade situation. Volquez broke camp as the fifth starter for the Reds, and has been nothing short of phenomenal this year. Currently, he is sitting with 12 wins, tied for third with 126 strikeouts and leads the NL with a 2.29 ERA. Not too shabby for a guy that went undrafted in most formats this past spring. If you were smart enough to grab him early, I take off my hat to you.

Ben Sheets, Milwaukee, SP: Sheets had a stellar first half. Those ten wins to go along with a 2.85 ERA and 108 strikeouts earned him the start in this year’s All-Star game. Sheets’ skills have never been in question, just the ability to stay healthy long enough to display them. Other than the one scare with triceps tightness in April, Sheets has stayed injury free and is on pace to produce at levels we haven’t seen since 2004. Will this be the year that we actually see 200 innings pitched out of Sheets?

Johan Santana, New York Mets, SP: The only chink in the armor to date has been the rather disappointing lack of wins. Heading into the break with a 2.84 ERA to go along with 114 strikeouts, Santana has adapted to his new league very well. Now if he can get a bit of run support in the second half, both the Mets and your fantasy team will be in very good shape.

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Jair Jurrjens, Atlanta, SP: This 22-year-old righthander has been a very pleasant surprise for the struggling Braves. Other than one rough patch at the end of May, Jurrjens has been a very consistent force in the Atlanta rotation. Heading into the break with nine wins, a 3.00 ERA, and 81 strikeouts, Jurrjens has established himself as a solid number two starter on the Braves.

Hiroki Kuroda, Los Angeles, SP: The former starter from the Hiroshima Toyo Carp has fit in very nicely on the west coast. A lack of run support has limited him to just five wins, but his 3.43 ERA and 1.20 WHIP have been very solid. Kuroda bounced back after a two-week stint on the DL because of sore shoulder with that stellar one-hitter on July 7. With a bit of run support, Kuroda could be a big asset down the stretch for the Dodgers.

Geovany Soto, Chicago Cubs, C: Soto has followed up that Pacific Coast League MVP season with a stellar rookie campaign. Currently, he is batting .288 with 16 home runs and 56 RBI and is the front runner in the rookie of the year battle. Manager Lou Pinella has shown an amazing level of confidence in this rookie, going so far as to have him hit in the cleanup slot for the Cubbies.

Kosuke Fukudome, Chicago Cubs, OF: There is always concern when looking at the offensive potential of Japanese players coming to MLB. Fukudome has delivered pretty much as promised for the Cubs. He has batted virtually everywhere in Chicago lineup, but seems to have settled in nicely at the top of the order. His offense has been steady with seven homers, 36 RBI and 59 runs scored in the first half. Toss in the eight stolen bases and the stellar defense and the Cubs have to be very happy with their free-agent acquisition this season.

Joey Votto, Cincinnati, 1B: Thank goodness someone in Cincinnati, namely Dusty Baker, realized that Scott Hatteberg wasn’t the answer. Votto has been very solid with 13 homers and 40 RBI in the first half. The one area of concern to date would be in the area of stolen bases where he only has four this season. With 40 thefts over the past two seasons in the minors, you had every right to expect a bit more. So hopefully Votto posts stolen base totals more in line with his history as he settles into the Red lineup in the second half.

COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR

Ryan Ludwick, St. Louis, OF: While it’s hard to say he’s a Comeback Player of the Year candidate (which, by it’s very nature suggests this player was once good), Ludwick certainly deserves a nod as a major surprise. Coming off a solid second half last year, he has built on that momentum with the Cardinals in 2008. With 21 homers and 65 RBI at the midway point, Ludwick has already established career highs. A June slump saw the Cardinals move him into the two slot and he broke out with homers in five out of the seven games leading up to the break. For those that gambled on Ludwick as an end play this spring, the rewards have been huge.

Ryan Dempster, Chicago Cubs, SP: Last year at this time, Dempster was struggling in his role as the closer for the Cubs. Shifted back into the rotation this season, it’s been a fantastic transition as Dempster has ten wins, a 3.25 ERA and 104 strikeouts so far this year. Where are those strikeouts coming from, not to mention the improved hit rates? He has only allowed 97 hits in 124 2/3 innings pitched this season. Dempster hasn’t posted numbers like we’re currently seeing since that solid 2000 season. The decision to move this Canuck into the rotation and shift Kerry Wood into the closer role has been a huge factor in the Cubs surge to first place this season.

Kerry Wood, Chicago Cubs, RP: Has Wood finally found his niche in life? The oft-injured starter has moved into the bullpen and half way through the year is not only healthy (which is amazing in and of itself), but is also currently just one save behind the NL leader with 24. Heading into the season, the Cub bullpen was a huge question mark, with multiple closing options, but Wood has been a most effective solution.

Ricky Nolasco, Florida, SP: Hopes were very high heading into the 2007 season for Nolasco after a very solid rookie campaign. The inflamed elbow injury cost him virtually all of the last year, but he has rebounded with a great start to 2008. Currently sitting at ten wins with a 3.70 ERA and 1.19 WHIP, Nolasco has become a very solid contributer for an overachieving Marlins team in 2008.

Jason Bay, Pittsburgh, OF: Kudos to the slugging Canuck and those that believed he’s bounce back this season. It would appear that 2007 was an aberration and with 19 HR and 53 RBI to go along with a .287 BA at the break, Bay has rebounded with a vengeance. In 2007, Bay drew 59 walks in 538 at bats. This year, he’s already at 56 walks in only 341 at bats. Rediscovering the strike zone has put Bay on pace for a virtually identical year to his stellar 2006 campaign.

BUST OF THE YEAR

Brett Myers, Philadelphia, SP: At least he’s coming off a quality start heading into the break; too bad it was for Double-A Reading. When you allow 24 homers at the break, it will have a tendency to translate into disappointing numbers. The conversion back to the rotation has not gone well at all, but if Myers can find a way to get the long ball under control, he could be a decent second half option.

Andruw Jones, Los Angeles Dodgers, OF: Jones was signed this past offseason to a two-year deal worth $36.2 million. It’s hard to believe that he is less than two years removed from a 41-homer, 129-RBI season. When you report to camp at a rumoured 240 pounds and follow that up with a .164 BA-, two-homer and ten-RBI first half, one would have to question whether Jones has the motivation to continue playing the game. It would appear that new hitting coach Don Mattingly is going to have his hands full in Los Angeles.

Aaron Harang, Cincinnati, SP: A consensus top 15 starting pitcher heading into the season, Harang has stumbled badly in the first half. A 4.76 ERA and a 1.40 WHIP to go along with that ugly 3-11 record is definitely not what we’d call “ace” calibre numbers. Harang was placed on the DL just prior to the break with a strained forearm and let’s hope the rest allows him to bounce back in the second half.

Troy Tulowitzki, Colorado, SS: For those that invested in Tulowitzki following his tremendous 2007 rookie campaign, odds are pretty good you’re not at the top of your league standings this year. When the stat line reads three homers and 16 RBI combined with a .166 BA, it just doesn’t get much worse.

Chris Young, Arizona, OF: Let’s face it, none of us were really counting on a .300 batting average, but five stolen bases in the first half? When you bat near the Mendoza line you better deliver in those other categories, and so far he simply hasn’t.

At last, we come to the end of our 2007 Awards. Don’t forget to check out our Basketball, Football and Hockey Awards as well.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Hanley Ramirez has arrived at the top of the Fantasy heap.

It’s hard to ignore the season for the ages that Alex Rodriguez enjoyed in 2007, but relative to his draft position, Hanley Ramirez was the absolute biggest stud in fantasy baseball last year. We’re talking about a mid-third rounder who wound up delivering mid-first round value. Power, speed, average; you name it, H-Ram did it. One-hundred and twenty-five runs? On a middling offensive team? Oh man. I also love that he cut his strikeout rate, and the fact that Ramirez is just 24 helps earns him the top spot in this year’s RotoRob Baseball Awards.

Honourable mentions: A-Rod, Jake Peavy, Matt Holliday, C.C. Sabathia, Magglio Ordonez, Prince Fielder.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

A .245 season wasn’t exactly what Fantasy owners were counting on from Vernon Wells in 2007.

As always, there are plenty of candidates, but after his stellar 2006, so much more was expected of Vernon Wells this past season. But a bum shoulder really limited his effectiveness and he wound up batting a career-worst .245. Wells will again be patrolling centrefield in Toronto and will undoubtedly bounce back, but he sure sunk plenty a fantasy team in 2007.

Honourable mentions: Manny Ramirez, Jason Bay, Travis Hafner, Chris Carpenter, Andruw Jones.

Rookie of the Year

Forget about the ROY Award; Ryan Braun could have been an MVP candidate had he been called up earlier.

Only seven players enjoyed a higher OPS than Ryan Braun. Had he been up all season, Braun could very well have garnered MVP consideration. As is, in just 451 at-bats, he smacked 34 homers and swiped 15 bases while batting .324 with a .370 OBP. Yes, he’s the real deal. Don’t be surprised to see this kid become a perennial MVP candidate.

Honourable mentions: Troy Tulowitzki, Dustin Pedroia, Daisuke Matsuzaka (even though we hate considering foreign professionals rookies), Hunter Pence.

Comeback Player of the Year

Carlos Pena’s emergence as a major Fantasy factor topped a massive list of improbable comeback stories in 2007.

There are plenty of candidates for this honour, but it’s impossible to ignore the dude who was released twice and outrighted off the roster from a third team in 2006 only to parlay a minor league deal in February 2007 into a full-time job and 46 homers. It’s hard to understand exactly where this season came from for Carlos Pena, but the Rays gave him a legitimate shot and he simply grabbed it and ran with it.

Honourable mentions: Sammy Sosa, Dmitri Young, Carlos Silva (who had great timing, given it was his walk year), Josh Hamilton, Pedro Martinez, Fausto Carmona, Rick Ankiel, Troy Percival, Josh Beckett.

Don’t Unpack that Suitcase Award

Ryan Langerhans was passed around like a cheap ‘ho last season.

How do you think Ryan Langerhans felt, going from the top of the Braves’ depth chart in left field, to being dealt to Oakland for cash, and then flipped to Washington just two days later? In describing his days (all two of them) in Oakland, Langerhans actually managed to spew out this gem after the deal from the A’s: “I enjoyed my time here.”

We Can’t Help But be Skeptical Award

Long a problem child, Josh Hamilton lands in the hospital for a “stomach problem” (yeah, right). Manager Jerry Narron says “He had a bad stomach ache. He might have eaten 10 hot dogs.” Uh, yeah. Or he might have ODed on something. Perhaps “hot dogs” is a euphamism for “speed balls.”

Home Sweet Home Award

Oh sure, ex-Astros’ manager Phil Garner loved Wandy Rodriguez, right, when he pitched at home. On the road, not so much.

Wandy Rodriguez was perhaps the most schizophrenic pitcher in the game last season. Pitching in the Juice Box (which actually was much more of a pitcher’s park in 2007), he went 6-3, 2.94 with a .220 BAA. In his starts outside of Minute Maid, Rodriguez went 3-10, 6.37 with a .287 BAA. Spotting trends like this early in the season can really help you maximize your rotation.

The Can Miss Award

When Mark Prior came into the bigs and ascended to Cy Young candidacy within a couple of years, some were already etching his name on a Hall of Fame plaque. Clearly, that was premature. Prior’s incessant inability to stay healthy since 2004 proves that there is no such thing as a can’t miss superstar – especially when dealing with pitchers. I’d suggest the only can’t miss we can offer up about Prior’s impending tenure with the Padres is a trip to the DL.

Aren’t You Glad You Didn’t Make that Trade?

The fact that Todd Helton was not dealt to Boston wound up be a massive blessing in disguise. (Jack Dempsey/Associated Press)

Remember when Todd Helton was supposedly headed to Boston in a pre-season deal that would have sent Mike Lowell, Julian Tavarez and a prospect (possibly Jacoby Ellsbury) to Colorado? Well, not making that trade turned out pretty darned well for Boston. Playing first base for Boston, Kevin Youkilis wasn’t that far off from what Helton did, and Youk was absolutely stellar with the glove. Boston was much better defensively keeping Lowell at third (instead of shifting Youkilis back there) and Lowell wound up being the Sox MVP as they went on to win the World Series. And Ellsbury? Uh, yeah. His stock went up just a bit this year.

Change of Heart Award

Where would the Sox have been in 2007 without Jonathan Papelbon closing? (Damian Strohmeyer/SI)

In yet another Red Sox move that wasn’t made and turned out working like a charm, Jon Papelbon’s decision to inform the team that he really did not want to move back into the rotation but would prefer to remain the closer, was perhaps the turning point on the Boston season. Imagine how the 2007 BoSox season would have played out without Papelbon saving games. Sometimes, it’s the tinkering you don’t do that works out the best.

Best Under the Radar Signing

Still with Boston, much hype was heaped upon the Daisuke Matsuzaka signing, and there was also plenty written about the Yankees and their “consolation prize” of Kei Igawa. But when Boston signed lefty reliever Hideki Okajima, barely anyone batted an eyelash. Apparently, Okajima was far more than some Japanese pitcher the Sox signed to help Dice-K’s transition to North America. He proved to be one of the most unhittable relievers in the game, earning an All-Star appearance for his efforts.

Choke of the Year

The New York Mets were home and cooled, seven games up in the NL East with 17 games to play, yet they somehow lost that lead and missed the playoffs – one of the worst chokes in big league history. It was the first time in MLB history that a team blew that big a lead with just 17 games to play. I probably would have enjoyed watching this happen to the Yankees more, but seeing the Mets implode definitely offered its rewards.

Inconsistency Award

Deciding which Big Z would show up from month to month in 2007 proved extremely challenging.

Carlos Zambrano earns a nod for putting fantasy owners through the ringer in 2007 with his horribly inconsistent season. He was battered in April (5.77 ERA), not much better in May (4.72), but then suddenly turned things around and got on a serious roll for the next two months. Big Z was brilliant in June (2.53) and then almost untouchable in July (1.39). Then, just as quickly, Zambrano was worse then ever, struggling through a winless, 7.06 August. Finally, he settled down and pitched to more or less to our expectations in September (3.44). If you were stuck trying to figure out Zambrano’s trends this season, no doubt you were on the hook for plenty of beat-downs and probably missed out on some gems as well.

Don’t Diss Us Award

Let’s give credit where credit is due. Heading into the season, most of us were expecting the Washington Nationals would be lucky to win 50 games. Many thought they could set futility records. But they were as good as 53-62 as of August 9, and – with a final tally of 73 wins – seriously surpassed most people’s prognostications and even managed to avoid the NL East cellar.

Grow Up Already Award

All the talent in the world and a 100 mph fastball doesn’t guarantee success. Long-touted as a closer of the future, the future keeps getting delayed as Joel Zumaya deals with one injury after another, each suffered off the playing field. First came the tendon surgery – a result of playing took much Guitar Hero. Uh, yeah. Then, he needed shoulder surgery after a 60-pound box landed on his shoulder while he was trying to move some stuff. Dude, you make enough money to hire someone to do that for you. Would it be any shock to find out that Zumaya was involved in this video? If Zumaya ever matures, he’s got a hell of a future as a top-notch closer. If…

Organizational Ineptitude Award

There are plenty of possible candidates here, but since winning back-to-back division titles in 1998 and 1999, the Texas Rangers have been in a serious holding pattern. There have been times they looked liked they were making progress, only to slide back to their typical losing ways. At any rate, thanks to their inability to either develop or lure quality pitching (Kevin Millwood doesn’t count as he’s sucked since they signed him) to Arlington, the Rangers have been doomed to five last-place finishes and three third place finishes this decade. They have some good young pitching in the system, so there’s hope, but strangely, I’m not holding my breath just yet.

Seal of Integrity

Special mention to Toronto GM J.P. Ricciardi here for his shocking deception to the media when B.J. Ryan was dealing with a “back” injury during Spring Training. I’m really surprised Ricciardi wasn’t raked over the coals more after it was finally revealed that it was actually Ryan’s elbow that was the problem. That he got his manager and Ryan to go along with this farce was even worse. As a fantasy player, how do you clearly assess Toronto injuries now that this precedent has been set?

Playing With Yourself Award

No, we’re not suggesting that Troy Tulowitzki is a jerk-off king, but he definitely knows how go solo. (AP)

While we can’t comment on Troy Tulowitzi’s mastery of the art of onanism, the Rockies’ shortstop definitely knows how to make things happen, solo style. That unassisted triple play he turned in on April 29 was just the 13th in big league history.

What Did You Eat for Breakfast Award

On August 21, Garret Anderson put up a game for the ages, cranking a grand slam and a three-run shot en route to a 10-RBI day. Of course, raise your hands if you actually had Anderson active that day. He’s just the 13th player in MLB history to have that many ribbies in one game.

“Put Me Out, Coach” Award

Milton Bradley’s career as a Padre was snuffed out by his own manager. (Lenny Ignelzi/AP)

Milton Bradley has had a tumultuous career to say the least, but when he was injured while being restrained by his own manager in September, that took the cake as the most bizarre moment in his checkered career. The fact that the incident occurred just innings after Bradley knocked out teammate Mike Cameron by stepping on his hand made the Padres’ day all the more sureal.

Much Ado About Nothing Award

The Mitchell Report? Booooorrrring. So now the greatest hitter of our time (Barry Bonds) and the greatest pitcher of our time (Roger Clemens) are intrinsically linked forever. Let’s let Rafael Palmeiro clear this scandal up once and for all. Speaking of boring, Mike Wallace’s interview of Roger Clemens on 60 Minutes was among the most banal moments in television history.

Another fantasy football season went down the tubes thanks to Jason Witten just finished, so I quit let’s take a glance back at the year that was. Derek and I put our heads together to generate this list, so if you have any complaints, blame him definitely engage us in conversation through the comments.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

LT repeats as the RotoRob Fantasy Football Stud of the Year. (AP)

Andy – I know a certain Patrots’ quarterback will be just about everyone’s pick, but to me, LaDainian Tomlinson deserves this more than anyone else. This year was defined by excellent quarterback play. Eight quarterbacks had over 3,950 yards. Hell, some guy named Derek Anderson tossed 29 scores. Running backs, however, struggled. That means a runner with 1,900 total yards and 18 total scores ended up being way more crucial than an elite quarterback. Oh, and while you-know-who was letting down fantasy owners everywhere during their fantasy playoffs (355 yards, three scores, and three interceptions in Weeks 15 and 16 combined), Tomlinson turned on the jets, averaging 152 total yards and 1.75 scores per game between Weeks 13 and 16.

Derek – While Tom Brady detractors will bemoan his Week 15 clunker against the Jets, who was going to produce in those conditions at Foxborough? Brady’s 50-touchdown season had too many high points to simply dismiss because he couldn’t produce in conditions that are impossible to deal with. I’m sure he would have slaughtered the Jets in fair conditions. Plus, Brady was far more consistent than any other fantasy go-to guy including Tomlinson, who produced only two 100-yard outings in his first 11 games of 2007. Brady’s lack of performance in the fantasy playoffs was weather-induced. Otherwise, he was the man in 2007.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Frank Gore, who went 10 weeks without scoring a TD, gets our nod as Dud of the Year.

Andy – Injuries destroyed a number of seasons (we told you not to draft Larry Johnson), but once someone is out, fantasy owners can adjust and make back-up plans. What Willie Parker did to you this season was a flat-out kick to the groin area. Okay, I can hear you now: “Oh, wise fantasy football god, how can a running back who finished in the top five in yards be the dud of the year?” To this, I ask how many Parker owners won a fantasy title? I doubt any did in any serious league. In fact, I’d wager that more Johnson owners won titles than Parker owners. The Steelers’ back scored a measly two times, and guys like that need to be totaling over 100 total yards every game to be useful. Parker missed that mark six times, including the fateful Week 16 game of one carry for -1 yard. Sweet!

Derek – Parker is a fine choice but Frank Gore was disappointing at best. Gore went into the season on the next tier of backs after the great LT and the pretenders to the throne (Stephen Jackson, Johnson). After scoring three touchdowns in the first two weeks, Gore did not score again until Week 12. Clearly, if you spent a high pick on Gore, you paid for it dearly. On the season, the formerly electrifying Gore had just one 100-yard game. Even that came against the Bengals, which nearly doesn’t mean anything.

Rookie of the Year

In our first unanimous selection, Adrian Peterson walks away with Rookie of the Year honours.

Andy – Look, there’s no point in getting cute. Marshawn Lynch played well, especially down the stretch. But we all know Adrian Peterson set the fantasy world on fire. Despite not starting (why!?) he finished second in rushing yards and tied for second in rushing scores. Most impressive to me, though, was the point in the season where he had around 180 carries and a 6.5 yards per carry average. That’s Jim Brown territory. Peterson still has plenty to prove about his durability and he also faded down the stretch, but if you went back to draft day knowing what you knew now, Peterson would be a first round choice.

Derek – Peterson wins this one in a walk. Who knew a team with Tavaris Jackson at quarterback would be that tolerable to watch? You can thank Peterson for that.

Comeback Player of the Year

Jamal Lewis bucked the odds by coming back after a dreaded 370-carry season.

Andy – Derek and I follow FootballOutsiders.com religiously in terms of running backs that log a 370+ carry season. They suck. In fact, in almost every instance, that workload effectively ends a players career. That’s why, in my humble book, Jamal Lewis had the best comeback this year. He was one of those 370-carry guys. He had the big season, and then the injury-ravaged and ineffective following season. On top of that, Lewis tottered along for a couple more years. And in 2007, he was basically written off. I think I wrote that his ceiling was being a decent spot starter for when your top guys are on bye. Well, it turns out Lewis had other ideas. He displayed those intangibles that you can’t really forecast. He was as hungry a runner as I’ve ever seen, and it lead to a 4.4 per carry average and a consistent top-to-bottom season.

Derek – Seriously, at the beginning of the year how many people had Kurt Warner throwing 27 touchdown passes? Anyone? Anyone? I didn’t think so. Warner stepped in admirably for Matt Leinart despite being switched out with goal-line specialist Tim Rattay. Warner is one of the more fascinating players in recent NFL history. After being jettisoned by the Rams and Giants, he bided his time and showed that he still has gas in the tank. Having Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald doesn’t hurt either. By the way, who is going to be the starter for Arizona next season?

Fantasy Scourge

Thanks to Carolina’s carousel of crappy QBs, Steve Smith crashed and burned as a fantasy asset.

Andy – Warrick Dunn, please retire. Or at least change teams or change roles. Jerious Norwood has 201 career carries and over 1,200 yards. In other words, Norwood possesses a staggering lifetime per carry average of 6.2 yards. That’s better than Peterson was this year at 201 carries. Norwood is a home run threat who also excels at getting some tough yards. Yes, backups sometimes see a defense that is more amped up to stop the starter, so they naturally don’t approach the backup with as much fervour, but does anyone believe that happened with the 2007 Falcons? Dunn squandered 228 carries that could have gone to Norwood. Look, I know he’s a great human being and he’s done many generous things for others. Now, he should do another selfless thing: Get out of the way for someone who should be on every fantasy owner’s radar.

Derek – Steve Smith went from being an elite wide receiver to a guy who is no better than a second or third receiver. He never got into a groove thanks to the maddeningly incompetent play of Carolina’s quarterbacks. The Panthers’ passing game ranked 29th in the league. Meanwhile, the running game was middle of the road at 14th. Jake Delhomme, David Carr, Matt Moore and Vinny Testaverde decimated the collective fantasy value of any Panthers’ offensive player. In fact, fantasy owners were actually excited about the 43-year-old Testaverde raising Smith’s play. That’s simply pathetic. Thanks for the memories, guys!

Fantasy Saviour

Roddy White didn’t drop too many passes this season. (By Dale Zanine, US Presswire)

Andy – This might be the toughest category this year. Peterson deserves consideration for being, at best, a fourth or fifth round pick in your fantasy draft. But it really comes down to Earnest Graham and Ryan Grant. Both started the season on exactly no one’s fantasy team. Both got their chance about halfway through the season, and both helped fantasy owners win titles. I’ll give the slight edge to Grant, who had touchdowns in each of his last six games. Graham did disappoint slightly during championship week, though it’s really nitpicking. Both players saved teams that took a waiver chance on them.

Derek – Roddy White. That’s right. Go ahead and rub your eyes. I said Roddy White. Seriously, something positive needed to develop from Atlanta’s season and it did. White quietly put together a good season with 1,202 yards receiving (which tied for eighth in the league) and six touchdown receptions. In fact, White compiled more receiving yards this season than Torry Holt, Boldin, T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Wes Welker. White produced despite having his first string quarterback end up in the clink, playing with a putrid assortment of signal callers and having his head coach quit on the team late in the season. My hat is off to you White. Viva la White!

The Anti-Constitutional Rights Award

Denying his players the right to carry guns? What the hell was Randy Shannon thinking? (JC Ridley/WireImage.com)

What’s that? The Second Amendment guarantees the right of every American citizen to bear arms? Not if you’re a Miami Hurricane football player. In an effort to clean up the image of the program, head coach Randy Shannon instituted a zero tolerance policy when it comes to one of his players owning a gun. Constitutional rights be damned! It was bad enough that Shannon decided to strip the players’ names off the back of their jerseys, but no guns? If you want to go alligator hunting, or even if you’re chasing tail, you’ll just have to find a different weapon of choice. Oh man, so much for Miami producing the next Tank Johnson.

RotoRob 2007 Awards

Basketball
Hockey

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Vincent Lecavalier’s former fling with SI Swimsuit Issue babe Caroline Portelance qualifies him as our Stud of the Year. Oh, he’s pretty good on the ice, as well.

Steve’s Pick: Vincent Lecavalier – He’s leading the league in points and is well on his way to his second straight 50-plus goal season. The 1998 first overall pick was once defined by his reluctance to live up to his potential. Now he’s leading his team and the league.

Mike’s Pick: Lecavalier — Sure, Sid the Kid got the glory on New Year’s Day, but for the calendar year of 2007, no one was better. Now if only Lecavalier could do something about his team’s goaltending.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Concussion issues have limited Simon Gagne to 10 games this season.

Steve’s Pick: Simon Gagne — He put up 79 points in 2005-06 and 68 points in 2006-07. A concussion has kept him off the ice and limited him to just eight points in 10 games so far this season. A very disappointing season for a very talented player. Let’s hope he makes a full recovery.

Mike’s Pick: Tampa Bay Goaltending — You’ve got three All-Stars anchoring the forward lines, all you need to do is provide consistent above-average — not spectacular — goaltending. Marc Denis, give it a shot. Crash and burn? Dang; okay, how about Johan Holmqvist? Well, it looks like you can’t decide if you’re a Vezina winner or an AHL backup. Considering Tampa’s firepower, whoever manned the crease for the Bolts should have been a simple fantasy pick. However, scoring four goals a game doesn’t work if you let up five.

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Paul Stastny’s had a huge second half in 2006-07 and has been even better this season.

Steve’s Pick: Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane combo from Chicago — Toews leads all NHL rookies in goals. Kane leads all NHL rookies in assists. Between the two of them, that’s 68 points. Say what you will about Pittsburgh’s Evgeni Malkin, last season’s Calder winner, or Anaheim’s Dustin Penner, who put up 45 points last year in his rookie season, there’s just something nice about seeing young talent on the usually moribund Blackhawks.

Mike’s Pick: Paul Stastny – While Stastny started off slower than, say, Malkin, his run in the early months of 2007 showed that he could rival the Russian star in ability. He’s still pacing himself at over a point-per-game, and in the wacky system of “Calendar Year Awards Across Two Hockey Seasons,” Stastny was the probably the biggest and best rookie surprise for fantasy players.

Fantasy Comeback Player of the Year

Mike Ribeiro has shocked us with his offensive numbers in Dallas. (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez)

Steve’s Pick: Chris Osgood – Despite his two Stanley Cups with Detroit, Osgood has never commanded a lot of respect and his numbers have usually supported the notion that he’s an average goaltender. But this season, co-starting with Dominik Hasek, he’s putting up great numbers: a 1.70 goals against and .930 save percentage. These are easily the best numbers of his career, including the 1995-96 season, when he shared the Jennings Trophy with Mike Vernon.

Mike’s Pick: Mike Ribeiro – When Ribeiro was shipped to the defensive-oriented Dallas Stars, most people figured that his offensive game would be swallowed up faster than an outdoor rink evaporating in the Texas heat. Ribeiro bucked all the naysayers and wound up being the most creative and effective Stars’ forward since Mike Modano was in his heyday.

And now for a something a little different…

The Anti-Bobby Orr Award

Steve Staios, seen here getting better acquainted with his front-row fans, won’t get confused for Bobby Orr anytime soon. (AP Photo/Jay LaPrete)

Steve Staios: You have to love Edmonton’s Steve Staios’ numbers over the past two seasons. Six goals. Seventeen assists. And a -15. Maybe it’s time for Steve to start spending a little more time in his own zone. Or scoring more goals. A lot more.

The Anti-Lady Byng Award

Philadelphia Flyers: Five players were suspended for questionable to awful hits. When the smoke cleared, the suspensions accounted for 52 games. They’re not a team so much as a skating street gang.

The PIMP (PIM Player) Award

With over a thousand penalty minutes in six seasons, Chris Neil, left, is impressing us with his pugilistic ability. (Chris Wattie/Reuters)

Chris Neil: The Ottawa forward is in just his sixth NHL season, yet he already has over 1,000 penalty minutes. Obviously, in the new NHL, penalties are a lot easier to come by, but you still have to be impressed by Neil’s commitment to the penalty box. Word on the ice is that he has his own set of monogrammed towels in the Ottawa sin bin.

The Russell Crowe “Fightin’ Around The World” Award

Ray Emery: The Ottawa goalie is versatile. He can fight on the ice, fight off the ice, and even fight with his coach. And who can forget his classic bout against fellow goalie Marty Biron last season? Goalie fights should count for fantasy points. Bonus points for Emery’s gigantic can’t-wipe-this-off-my-face grin every time he fights. The First Rule of Fight Club is “You do not talk about Fight Club!”

The Mentoring Maniac Award

Hmm…which of these three do you want to hitch a ride with?

Ed Belfour’s drunken tirades are legendary. Now, he’s teaching a younger generation of player how to do up altercations the right way. Shortly after last season ended, Belfour took the veritable babe in the woods (although he’s 33, he’s 10 years’ Belfour’s junior) Ville Peltonen out for some post-season drinking at a Miami nightclub. Naturally, some disorderly conduct soon followed as the evening grew late, and the police were summoned to ask the two to leave. When the cop approached Belfour, as you might predict, the fiery goalie started scrapping with him, forcing the cop to taser him. Belfour was then put into a rescue vehicle to be treated for his injuries. A quick study, Peltonen tore a piece of the truck off while he smiled at the rescue workers. Way to carry on the tradition, kiddo! Eddie the Eagle has flown the coop to play in (read: terrorize) Sweden this year, but it’s good to know that he passed the torch before departing for a fresh start.

And we’re off. The second annual RotoRob Awards kicks off with this year’s basketball honours. We’ve got the best, the worst and the wackiest presented here for your entertainment and edification. Stayed tuned over the next few days as we roll our our baseball, football and hockey awards.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Sure, Kobe Bryant averaged 40.4 PPG in the month of April, Shawn Marion registered insane across-the-board production, and Dirk Nowitzki walked away with the MVP. Yet, the best player to emerge in 2007 has been Chris Paul. Thus far in the 2007-2008 campaign, Paul is distancing himself from everyone else with a line of 21.7 PPG, 49 FG%, 90 FT%, 10.0 APG, 2.9 SPG and 1.3 3PMG. If he goes on to average 10 assists and three steals per game this season, he’d be the youngest in the history of the NBA to do so and that’s pretty remarkable. Paul, the 2006 RotoRob NBA Rookie of the Year, has graduated to the big time, people.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

The easy choice would be a two-way tie between Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordon. They are both to blame for Scott Skiles losing his job as head coach of the Chicago Bulls. Captain Kirk is shooting 38 per cent this season from the floor, turning the ball over at an alarming rate and recently had the point guard reigns taken away and handed over to Chris Duhon. Gordon is shooting 39 per cent this season from the floor and is returning to his sixth-man role after failing to take his game to another level.

Yet there is one man, and one man only that deserves this award – Andrei Kirilenko. Not only because his post-all star stats in 2006-2007 had him averaging a measly 7.0 PPG, 3.8 RPG and 1.9 APG, but his name was engraved on this trophy the second after he was posterized by Baron Davis on May 11. This dunk actually became a commercial for the NBA.

Of course, AK-47 didn’t help matters when he cried in front of the media.

Rookie of the Year

Kevin Durant’s scoring exploits earn him our nod as ROY.

The reigning rookie of the year, Brandon Roy, deserves some mention in this category. Earlier this year, Roy received 127 out of a possible 128 first-place votes. He also averaged 19 PPG, while nearly adding five rebounds and five assists per game after the all-star break last season. Roy, however, has since been surpassed as a fantasy player by third-place finisher, Rudy Gay. The winner of this award goes to the 2007-2008 likely rookie of the year, Kevin Durant. Already better as a fantasy player than Roy is across the board, Durant is slowly raising his field goal percentage above 40 per cent and is averaging 20.0 PPG. Remember folks, LeBron James shot only 41.7 per cent from the floor during his rookie year. Since 1990, only eight rookies have averaged 20 points or more per contest, and Durant is not that far off from Allen Iverson’s 23.5 PPG in 1996-1997. Durant is going to be very special.

Comeback Player of the Year

Now that he’s over his mystery illness, Hedo Turkoglu, left, is a man possessed. (AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack)

The popular pick here would be Grant Hill. But, did you know that Hedo Turkoglu is averaging over six more points per game, almost one more assist, and over two more rebounds per game than he did last season? No? Most people were not aware of it either! Furthermore, the Dirty Turk is getting close to seven more minutes each game. Hedo is doing all he can do to be the perfect compliment to Dwight Howard in Orlando and his fantasy owners are loving him for it. Turkoglu finally appears to be over the mysterious ailment that has come and gone for the past two years, and he’s taking his game to the next level as a result. So remember, when you are in the office and people start throwing around Hill as the Comeback Player of the Year, just do what I do and throw some Turkoglu on them!

He’s Got Game (Off of the Court)

Porking this hottie has even allowed Marko Jaric to start dunking.

Obviously a fan of the Don Johnson five-o’clock shadow, Victoria Secret model Adriana Lima has been dating Marko Jaric of the Minnesota Timberwolves. “Ever since he started dating Adriana Lima, he’s a new man,” Mark Madsen said. “He’s flying all over the court. He dunked! I’ve never seen him dunk.” Basketball fans finally have a reason to watch the Timberwolves, or at the very least comb the stands for Ms. Lima. Could she replace Eva Longoria as the hottie in the stands to focus on for the networks (that is, if Minnesota ever gets good enough to actually be TV-worthy again)?

NBA Theme Song Blues

The NBA without John Tesh’s theme music is like raisinbread without the raisins. Or something like that.

Wikipidea, which of course, must be taken with a grain of salt, states that the purpose of television theme music is “to establish a mood for the show and to provide an audible cue that a particular show is beginning.” No theme song did that quite like Roundball Rock, John Tesh’s masterpiece, when all was right with the world and the NBA was on NBC. Clearly something is missing from basketball coverage on ABC, ESPN and TNT, and one must look no further than their theme songs over the last few years: Can’t Get Enough by Justin Timberlake, Let’s Get It Started by the Black Eyed Peas, Lose My Breath by Destiny’s Child, This Is How A Heart Breaks by Rob Thomas and Runnin’ Down a Dream by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Television executives want tender and I want The Blonde Frankenstein’s jingle. In 2008, we may have a compromise.

Quote of the Year Award

When you hear Jamaal Tinsley butcher the English language, it’s clear why he’s constantly dodging bullets.

Runner-up Zach Randolph, when asked how he felt about being removed from the starting lineup, replied, “I don’t plan on coming off no bench for the rest of the season.”

However, Jamaal Tinsley would not be denied in this category. In his latest in a string of late-night incidents, Tinsley and his friends were being harassed by a group of men pestering him about his flashy vehicle and exorbitant paycheck. When asked what he needs to do differently to avoid trouble, Tinsley replied, “I just got to do things more smarter.” Indeed you, do, Jamaal. Indeed you do.

Top Five Darkest NBA Moments of 2007

Dark Milicic could make a sailor blush. (AP Photo/Lance Murphey)

5. What’s the best way to go about showing your team you are worthy of a multiyear deal? Andray Blatche naturally did what most would do, such as getting arrested after he tried to solicit some extracurricular activity from a female police officer in the prostitution enforcement unit. Um, how much just for a slam dunk, hoe? Hopefully, Blatche didn’t try to superman dat hoe.

4. Darko Millicic, finally showing he has a pulse, blaming the referees for Serbia’s loss to Greece in Eurobasket 2007. Lock up your daughters, people!

3. With everything that happened with Isiah Thomas in 2007, nothing was more disturbing and upsetting than this video. Just think, if he keeps piling up the charges, soon he won’t be doing this kind of crap on a voluntary basis anymore — it will be part of his community service sentence.

2. A criminal complaint alleged a ruckus outside of a nightclub. Can you describe the ruckus, sir? Sure, after parking illegally without pay and having his car towed as a result, Rafer Alston went after a parking attendant and grabbed his arm, shook him and then spat on him. Obviously not sufficient, Alston returned and allegedly slashed the attendant’s neck. I was under the impression that Alston was such a caring individual.

1. One man managed to cast a shadow over a whole sport once again. Baseball has Barry Bonds, Football has Michael Vick, and Basketball has Tim Donaghy. What’s worse is that, when he is sentenced on January 25, 2008, Donaghy faces some serious jail time for betting on games. I wonder, does he knows the cigarette-to-dollar ratio in prison? Do you think he’ll be asked to officiate those friendly pen pickup games in the courtyard?

Most Improved Player Award

Chris Kaman takes the cake as the most improved player. (John W. McDonough/SI)

Chris Kaman gets the nod here, but this was actually somewhat close between Kaman and Rudy Gay. But, alas, Kaman pulls it out when you total the numbers up. Plus, Kaman has the Jesus lettuce on top of his head! He is really helping his fantasy owners out with his increase of 6.2 rebounds per game, 8.5 points per game, and although we don’t count the stat, 10.2 more minutes per game sure does help. Kaman is no longer merely a scary looking mountain man who you’d be afraid to venture down an alley with. I mean, he’s still that, but now he’s a damn fine hoops player, too.

Most Disappointing Team

Now we all know how bad the Timberwolves are, but it is the Miami Heat that takes this title so far. Dwyane Wade isn’t enough to make Shaq look good once again. The Heat won the division crown last season, but it has only managed to win eight out of its first 30 games this season. Face it, fans, Shaq is a shell of his former self.

Buzz Kill Award

When Gilbert Arenas went down, so did many fantasy owners’ chances.

Major injuries to Gilbert Arenas and Elton Brand have been a two-pronged attack on fantasy owners. Brand was hurt before the season even began, so you knew going into the draft that taking him was a major risk from the get-go. Agent Zero, on the other hand, just all of the sudden went lame and left his fantasy owners wondering what could have been with that first rounder they burned on him. Both should return at some point this season, but Arenas owners are falling behind in leagues and Brand owners are wasting a roster spot on a guy that will be maybe be 75 per cent at the end of the season.

Worst Person to Invite to a Gay Pride Parade

Is it just me or does homophobic Tim Hardaway look ready to receive here?

Tim Hardaway’s rant was among the most disturbing outburts of the year, never mind simply sport. Imagine going on record with these gems: “You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known, I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or in the United States.” I was just waiting for the reporter to say “No Tim, tell us what you really think about gay people.” I am pretty sure that wouldn’t go over well as the opening speech at the festivities. Well, you’ve got to admire his honesty, if nothing else.

All Class Award

Ah yes, you’ve got to love a man’s man like Zach Randolph. Already a finalist for the quote of the year (see above), Z-Bo made headlines when he was spotted at a strip joint last season. Nothing out of the ordinary there, right? Well, the thing is he was supposed to be on bereavement leave at the time. Then again, nothing brings me out of mourning more than a pair of augmented breasts in my face! Maybe Pacman Jones was there too, and he helped cheer up Randolph by “making it rain.”

Can You Take a Hint Award

Guard David Wesley, reduced to bench fodder on the Cavs last season, knew his days were about over when he couldn’t gain access to the Quicken Loans Arena weight room. Protected by fingerprint scanners, the room was inaccessible by Wesley several times as his prints weren’t registering any more. Uh yeah, dude. It’s time to be set adrift on an ice floe. Since then, of course, Wesley has been dealt twice in moves that were strictly salary-motivated and, for all intents and purposes, his NBA career is over. Of course, we could have told him that a long time ago.

Barbershop Award

Well, for sheer insanity, no one can top Anderson Varejao’s ‘do, of course, but how about Suns’ fans and their fixation with Steve Nash’s different looks over the year. It’s such a hot topic that it inspired this gem from the Arizona Republic.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Johan Santana is the straw that stirs the Minnesota pitching staff, and his 2006 performance earned him a second Cy Young in three years. Are there more dominant offensive players? Possibly. But Santana’s edge over the rest of the pitching field prompted us to give him the nod for fantasy purposes. The AL Pitching Triple Crown, a WHIP of 1.00 and just missing out on his second 250 K season clinched it for Santana.

Dud of the Year

We can no longer make excuses for Brian Giles. It’s got nothing to do with Petco Park ‘ he is simply not a good fantasy outfielder anymore. Yes, he’s a great contact hitter, but without the power and average, who really cares? Sure, he still draws a boatload of walks (although even that is slipping), but he doesn’t steal double digit bases anymore. Why the Padres continue to think he’s a number three hitter is completely beyond me. He’d be much better as a two-hole or even leadoff hitter. But wherever he hits, he is so far removed from the slugger who managed at least 35 homers, 95 RBI and .298 for four straight seasons ending in 2002. Don’t ever bid on that player again.

Rookie of the Year

Hmmm’.strong hitting shortstop with great speed and top of the order skills? Sounds exactly like what was missing in Boston this season. Hanley Ramirez truly showed far more advanced hitting skills than I expected to see this early and with great basestealing skills and some pretty nice pop from a rookie shortstop thrown in, he’s a slam dunk for the RotoRob Rookie of the Year honour.

Comeback Player of the Year

When the Mets dished out $119 million for seven years worth of Carlos Beltran’s time, they were expected more than the 16 homers he managed in 2005. A .330 OBP and .414 SLG? Uh, yeah. That wasn’t going to cut it. Well, Beltran still struggles in front of the hometown fans, but man did he ever bounce back last season. He wound up second in the NL in runs, slugged .594 (fourth in NL), smashed a career-high 41 homers (fifth) and finished fifth in OPS. Top 10 numbers in RBI and walks rounded out Beltran’s MVP-type season and earned him the nod for the RotoRob Comeback Player of the Year for 2006. Honourable mention: Corey Patterson.

Health Hazards

‘I Wouldn’t Want to be the EMS Dude Who Treated You After Your Accident’ Award

In an article that included tips on how athletes travel light on road trips, Tigers’ closer Todd Jones revealed that the only underwear he brings with him, is the pair he puts on that morning ‘ regardless of the length of the trip. Fantastic advice, Todd. It certainly helps shed some light, however, on where he developed that filthy slider.

Clubhouse Cleaning Crew of the Year

This summer the Jays were hit with not one but two cases of staph infections as Alex Rios and Ty Taubenheim were both sidelined by the ailment, caused by bacteria entering an open wound. Despite the fact that these players’ lockers were on opposite ends of the clubhouse, they contracted the infections within a couple of weeks of one another, causing the club to call in health inspectors to sweep the area for any traces of the bacteria.

The Jays win the baseball staph infection race, but they’ve got nothing on the Cleveland Browns, a club that’s training facility is also under scrutiny for contamination. In the last three years, five Browns have come down with staph infections.

Hello, have you thought of hiring this dude?

Fantasy Pick of the Year

Gary Matthews Jr.’s big season was a huge shock, eh? Maybe not. Here’s what I wrote in November 2005 when I wrote him up as one of my ‘Picks’ for the Fantasy Baseball Guide 2006:

Smoked 31 extra base hits after the All-Star break with excellent strike zone judgment (37 BB/55 K) and some speed (seven steals). A serious breakthrough year is coming this season.

RotoRob nailed that puppy (but rest assured that no animals were harmed during this process).

Most Inspirational Manager

John Gibbons, Toronto Blue Jays. Gibbons deserves special recognition for inspiring his players to violence and mutiny. First he responded to Shea Hillenbrand’s negative blackboard messages by challenging him to a fight. After hearing what Hillebrand had done (writing ‘this is a sinking ship’ on the clubhouse blackboard) and knowing Hillenbrand’s sketchy history (he called Red Sox GM Theo Epstein a ‘faggot’ on his way out the door in Boston), I immediately sided with Gibbons on this one. Besides, Gibbons looks like someone you don’t want to screw around with. But just a couple of weeks later when Gibbons got in another confrontation with one of his own players (when Ted Lilly showed him up on the mound while Gibbons was trying to yank him and the two allegedly came to blows in the hallway a few minutes later), it became clear that Gibbons was the problem. Scraps with two of your players in a span of a couple of weeks? Sounds like a RotoRob Award winner to us.

The Mouth of Madness Award

Speaking of motivational managers, we’ve got to give some props to Ozzie Guillen. The litany of spewings that have emanated from his mouth in the past year are impressive to say the least. In 2005, when Guillen led the Chisox to the World Series, his over the top comments seemed to slide somewhat, but in this past season, he got front and centre attention for all the wrong reasons. Guillen’s greatest hits from 2006:

• ‘Alex was kissing Latino people’s asses,’ Guillen said of Alex Rodriguez, when A-Rod waffled back and forth about whether to play for the Dominican Republic or the U.S. in the WBC.
• Guillen supposedly sent reliever David Riske out to hit Chris Duncan, later claiming he didn’t know that Chris was Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan’s son.
• In Delmon Young’s first ML plate appearance, he was cluned by Freddy Garcia of the White Sox.
• Guillen sent reliever Sean Tracey down to Triple-A for refusing to hit Hank Blalock with a pitch.
• Of course, that move led to Chicago Sun-Times’ columnist Jay Mariotti describing Guillen as ’senseless and immature.’ Guillen’s reaction? The now infamous rant that including calling Mariotti ‘a piece of shit, a fucking fag.’ Nice touch, Ozzie. That led to some MLB-ordered sensitivity training, which, hopefully came with a money back guarantee for baseball because it hasn’t seemed to work very well.

More on Guillen and his mad ramblings.

Clubhouse Cancer Award

Shea Hillenbrand takes the cake here. Anyone who writes that the ’ship is sinking’ on a blackboard in the clubhouse has got some issues. Now that he’ll be toiling in Disneyville, perhaps Hillenbrand should be fitted with a pair of these.

Not only will they prohibit him from writing anything, but he might even be a better fielder with them (I mean, any improvement defensively shouldn’t be difficult to achieve).

Not Bad For a Coach’s Kid

Chris Duncan is apparently not just a Cardinal because his daddy is the team’s pitching coach. He methodically moved up the ladder in the minor leagues, hitting .261, with a .340 OBP and .409 SLG in 685 minor league games ‘ certainly nothing to induce wet dreams from prospect hunters. Yet in 90 games and 280 at-bats in his rookie season, Duncan scored 60 runs, hits 22 dingers, and put up the following percentages: .293/.363/.589. Raise your hand if you saw that line coming.

No Take-Backs

The award for the deal a GM would most like to reverse goes to Theo Epstein for dealing Hanley Ramirez, Anibal Sanchez, Jesus Delgado and Harvey Garcia for Josh Beckett, Mike Lowell and Guillermo Mota. It’s not that Beckett absolutely sucked ‘ he did, after all, win a career-best 16 games. But here’s a pitcher who had never had an ERA higher than 4.10 and who had never given up more than 16 homers, yet he wound up with a 5.01 ERA and a ridiculous 36 homers allowed. Lowell, who was a salary dump forced on the Sox, was actually better than expected, easing the hit of the deal somewhat.

But Sanchez developed into one of the brightest young pitchers in the NL and Ramirez provided the Marlins with exactly what Boston lacked: a shortstop who could actually hit and a bona fide offensive spark at the top of the order.

Organizational Consistency Award

I recently received an e-mail taking me to task for daring to make fun of the Pirates. Well, the numbers don’t lie and 14 straight losing seasons represents the longest streak in American sports history. But, c’mon…let’s give the Buccos kudos. They never fail to disappoint, and that’s got to count for something.

Smokescreen Award

Not to be outdone in the realm of organizational ineptitude, the Brewers went back into the sub-.500 tank after a winning 81 games in 2005. Their idea to deflect attention away from another losing season? Mixing things up with the world famous sausage race by adding Chorizo to the mix. What is this, a barbeque that needs spicing up or a baseball team that needs shaking up? I mean, c’mon, I love chirozo as much as the next guy, but you can only dazzle me so long before I remember that my team sucks.

Pitching Performance of the Year

After two years of near misses including one just two days earlier when Ramon Ortiz barely missed, baseball’s record two-plus year no-hitter drought ended when Anibal Sanchez finally broke through on September 6. A 22-year-old in just his 13th big-league start? Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly how we all envisioned the next no-no.

Don’t Know When It’s Time to Retire Award

Shouldn’t Craig Biggio have taken a cue from long-time teammate Jeff Bagwell and called it a day? Is reaching 3,000 hits important enough to risk embarrassing yourself even worse than Biggio did in 2006 (.246, .306 OBP)? Have you seen the movie Mr. 3000, Craig? Is that what you want to be?

Stickin’ It to the Ex

How bad do you think the White Sox wished that they didn’t have to face Frank Thomas and Magglio Ordonez last year? Talking about returning to haunt your ex-team. Ordonez mashed four homers and slugged .514 against the Sox, but that was nothing compared to the Big Hurt that Thomas laid on Chicago. In 19 at-bats, he homered four times, drove in nine runs and drew five walks. He beat up the Sox to the tune of .368 with a .500 OBP and ‘ get this ‘ a 1553 OPS! For the Sox, it must have been akin to running into your ex-wife at the grocery store, finding a woman that was 180 pounds the day the divorce went through who had transformed herself into a serious hottie with a bod that your 19-year-old secretary would kill for. Now that’s a Big Hurt.

Mr. Clutch Award

Clutch hitting is certainly a misnomer, as many suggest there is actually no such thing, given statistically anomalies that will balance themselves out over time. Yet, baseball ‘ the ultimate statistician’s dream sport ‘ tracks what is known as ‘Close and Late’ situations. These are defined as: seventh inning or later with the batting team either ahead by one run, tied or with the potential tying run at least on deck.

So who were the best Close and Late hitters in the bigs in 2006? For the RotoRob 2006 Mr. Clutch Award, we looked only at players who had accumulated a minimum of 50 official close and late at-bats.

And the winner is’Indians’ DH Travis Hafner, who surely would have gotten more play as an MVP candidate had his season not ended early with an injury.

Although Pronk only had 56 close and late at-bats, he slugged five homers and drove in 10 runs, batting .411, slugging .821 and recording a simply silly 1343 OPS. There’s an MVP Award in this guy’s career real soon.

As a bonus, we list the other 27 players who recorded an OPS of at least 950 with a minimum of 50 close and late at-bats:

Albert Pujols ‘ the man many argue is truly the best player in baseball, Pujols had a ridiculous 10 homers for 26 RBI in close and late situations, batting .319 with a 1248 OPS.

David Ortiz ‘ Captain Clutch himself, Big Papi hit an unbelievable 11 homers in 86 close and late at-bats in 2006, driving in 29 runs, with a .314 BA, .756 SLG and 1199 OPS.

Wes Helms ‘ Here’s the first big surprise player on the list, but Helms managed to drive in 11 runs in 55 at-bats, batting a robust .400 with a .450 OBP and .691 SLG. That’s an 1141 OPS for those scoring at home, good enough that Helms was one player you didn’t want to face last year with the game on the line.

Gary Matthews Jr. ‘ As part of his career year at age 32 that landed him an eyebrow-raising five-year, $50-million deal from the Halos, Matthews came through in the clutch to the tune of 16 RBI, with a .480 OBP and .639 SLG for an 1118 OPS.

Here’s the rest of our list with their OPS numbers in close and late situations: Geoff Jenkins salvaging a horrible year (1116); Johnny Damon delivering in his first season with the Yanks (1078); Michael Cuddyer enjoying a long-awaited breakout (1074); Carlos Lee helping pave the way for a huge contract (1050); Ryan Howard en route to his first MVP award (1049); Andruw Jones enjoying another huge season (1024); Mike Piazza is no longer a feared slugger, but is still money in the clutch (1022); Miguel Cabrera continuing his development as one of the game’s best (1020); Adam LaRoche was among the NL’s most feared players in the second half (1002); Craig Monroe continues to fly under the radar as a power hitter (1002); Frank Catalanotto scares no one, but is one tough out (998); Adrian Beltre is still trying to rediscover his 2004 magic (997); Ray Durham had a career year (990); David Wright can do it all (983); Jeff Francoeur has a knack for late-game RBI (977); Jason Giambi made a nice comeback this season (977); Vernon Wells parlayed big season into bigger contract (975); Willie Bloomquist sticks out on this list like a sore thumb (972); Jimmy Rollins has developed pop to go along with that speed (971); Ken Griffey Jr. can still deliver when it counts and when he’s healthy (970); Aaron Rowand does everything hard and it takes it toll (969); Marcus Giles can’t hit leadoff, but is a fantastic two-hole hitter (962); and, Nick Johnson had a great breakout season before breaking his leg (956).

Best Heater of the Year

Who has the best heater? Joel Zumaya? Justin Verlander? Maybe B.J. Ryan?

How about Derek Lowe? Huh? Isn’t Lowe a sinkerball pitcher? Well, yes, but he has the best heater story of the year.

In late September it can get quite chilly at night in Denver ‘ cold enough for players to need to keep warm between innings. On September 27, Lowe was getting set to take his hacks, standing in the corner of the dugout ready to head out to the on-deck circle. So into the game was Lowe that he didn’t notice that his leg was heating up and his pants were smoking, having actually caught fire thanks to the space heater at his feet.

Matt Kemp alerted him: ‘Dude, you’re on fire,’ he said to Lowe. Lowe, pitching a solid game, assumed he was being paid a compliment on how well he was performing.

So Kemp tried a more direct approach: ‘Literally,’ he said to Lowe.

Lowe looked down and saw that he was on fire. He jumped away from the heater, but the flames had actually burned through his socks and pants.

He managed to quickly run and change his pants, and finished the rest of his outing for career win number 100. I wonder if his teammates presented him with the game space heater after that milestone win.

Fire-retardant baseball pants, anyone?

Dr. Nick Award

When the Mets went to the NLCS against St. Louis, tickets were hard to come by in New York. Really hard to come by.

Dr. Emil Chynn decided to take a different approach to try to get seats. He offered LASIK eye surgery or a Botox procedure in exchange for playoff tickets.

This could usher in a whole new way to valuate tickets. For instance, Red Sox tickets might be worth a heart transplant. Devil Rays’ tickets? Sorry, that’s only worth a colostomy.

Whiner Award

Damn, the dude wasn’t even active last year, but Sammy Sosa managed to make a stink when he wasn’t included on the ballot of five players for the Cubs portion of MLB’s Hometown Heroes promotion. He said his feelings were hurt after being omitted. Don’t they have ’supplements’ to help with that kind of thing, Sammy?

Horseshoe up the Butt Award

Can someone please explain to me how Jason Marquis won 14 games despite giving up 221 hits and 74 walks in 194 1/3 innings? It’s certainly not his domination (96 Ks). Run support? Nope. The Cards only scored 5.05 runs per nine when Marquis pitched compared to his ERA of over 6.00. Yet he won 14 games! Sure, he also lost 16, but really, Marquis had no business winning more games than all but 29 pitchers in baseball. Honourable mention goes to Steve Trachsel who won 15 times despite an ERA a tick under 5.00 and almost as many walks as strikeouts.

Husband of the Year

Julio Lugo’s got nothing on Brett Myers anymore. Myers, a former amateur boxer who stands 6′4′ and clocks in at 240, allegedly smacked his wife Kim around on the streets of Boston, right in broad daylight. He bags Husband of the Year honours because Kim decided not to testify against him, thereby eliminating most of the evidence and resulting in the charges being dropped against Myers. Can’t you just see Kim giving Brett a “Best Husband in the World” mug on his birthday last year?

2006 RotoRob Awards

Basketball
Fashion and Celebrity
Hockey
Football

Fantasy Stud of the Year

LaDainian Tomlinson – No surprises here. Tomlinson leads the league in rushing yards, rushing touchdowns, yards from scrimmage, total touchdowns, and had as many touchdown passes as Daunte Culpepper. The dude scored more than Paris Hilton this year, and that’s not easy to do. Honourable Mentions – Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Larry Johnson.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Chris Chambers – Yes, I could go with first-round busts like Shaun Alexander, Edgerrin James, or Carnell Williams, but I could argue no player hurt fantasy teams like Chambers. With the aforementioned running backs, fantasy owners knew not to use them for large chunks of the season. They certainly killed teams this year, but at least you knew you had to put someone else in your lineup. Chambers consistently did just enough one week for owners to keep him in their lineups, just to see him put up a worthless week the next. Dishonourable Mentions – Alexander, James, Williams, LaMont Jordan.

Fantasy Rookie of the Year

Vince Young and Maurice Jones-Drew - This was the hardest pick for me. Young came off the bench and did the Mike Vick routine better than Mike Vick. His interceptions have been high, but I expect him to be a consistent fantasy performer for many years. MoJo, meanwhile, was the little engine that could for the duration of the season. He scored an amazing 14 touchdowns despite not being the lone back until Week 15. If Fred Taylor isn’t around next season, MoJo could be a top 10 pick. Honourable Mentions – Marques Colston, Reggie Bush.

Fantasy Comeback of the Year

Javon Walker – It wasn’t a big year for comeback seasons, but Walker deserves recognition for returning to top 10 wide out status. After a breakout 2004 campaign, Walker held out in the 2005 preseason in hopes that the Packers would reward his play. The organization (i.e., Brett Favre) called him out, and Walker relented. He went to camp and was injured in the first regular season game. Denver gave him a chance, and Walker has made the most of it. Plus, let’s be honest, 1,000 yards with Jake Plummer as your quarterback (for most of the games at least) is the same as 1,400 yards with anyone else. Honourable Mentions – Terrell Owens, Darrell Jackson, Brian Westbrook.

Fantasy’s Most Hated Player of the Year

Brandon Jacobs – Tiki Barber had a pretty good season, as long as touchdowns didn’t count in your league. His two scores (one more than Carnell Williams!) haven’t made too many fantasy folk worried about his end-of-the-year retirement. Jacobs was the main reason for Barber’s lack of touchdowns. He stole nine trips over the stripe from his mentor, but don’t fret. The ire the fantasy world has now for Jacobs will be nothing but love when he has a top 15 fantasy running back season next year. Dishonourable Mentions – Julius Jones (or Marion Barber?), Corey Dillon (or Laurence Maroney?).

Fantasy Savior of the Year

Frank Gore – With more than half of the first-round backs this season winding up as varying degrees of busts, it was up to the second- and third-tier backs to pick up the slack. Gore, taken no earlier than the fourth or fifth round in most drafts, did more than just fill in. He only had five games all season with no touchdowns or less than 100 rushing yards. He ranks third in rushing yards and fourth in total yards from scrimmage. His health will probably always be an issue bubbling under the surface, but no one can deny he’s as talented a back as the NFL has. Honourable Mentions – Willie Parker, Brian Westbrook, Chester Taylor.

Presented by RotoRob:

Big Brother Award

The Bengals get a nod for instituting the ‘jerk’ hot line that allows fans to call 381-JERK to report on fans swearing a blue streak, scrapping or doing other unruly things in the stands. Once a call is made, security will monitor the complaint via 38 cameras set up in the stadium to see if action is required. Does rooting for the opposition constitute unruly behaviour? Would you be shocked if it did?

Contributions to Humanity Award

Maurice Clarett has truly proved he’s the salt of the earth. Currently serving seven and a half years in jail, he’s obviously one of the most misunderstood people of his time. A tremendously gifted running back who just happened to allegedly be involved in an armed robbery, allegedly have a hatchet, AK-47 and several other handguns in his car and allegedly be associated with an Israeli organized crime leader.

Hey, that stuff can happen to anyone, right?

Most Dangerous Mascot Award

Tennessee has rebounded nicely this year, thanks in no small part to the Titans’ deadly mascot, T-Rac. Earlier this season, while driving a golf cart at halftime, T-Rac crashed into Saints’ reserve QB Adrian McPherson, knocking him to the ground for several minutes and ultimately knocking him out of the game. McPherson suffered a knee injury in the mishap, but it was not considered serious. Still, does this help or hurt T-Rac’s chances of making it back to the Pro Bowl for a sixth time?

Colour Coordination Award

Chad Johnson unveiled a shiny new gold Mohawk, which was stylish enough to begin with, but when combined with his shiny gold earrings, it laid to rest any silly notion that men didn’t know how to accessorize.

The Sobriety Award

Koren Robinson is a slam dunk for the RotoRob Sobriety Award, racking up multiple drunk driving charges. His latest episode, in August, came along with charges of fleeing from the police. If Robinson could stay sober for even a few months, he could be a Pro Bowl quality wide receiver. But, alas, he seems to prefer the Pabst route to the post route.

Good Sport in Training Award

A 15-year-old football player with the Layton (Utah) HS junior varsity team was kicked off the squad for putting thumbtacks in his gloves for the postgame handshake. Talk about being as tough as nails’wow.

2006 RotoRob Awards

Basketball
Fashion and Celebrity
Hockey
Baseball

Fantasy Stud of the Year

Sidney Crosby — Goals, assists, power play points, PIMs. Sid the Kid has it all.

Fantasy Dud of the Year

Martin Gerber — Sure, Gerber sounded like a good bet. After posting 38 wins with Carolina, Gerber has been atrocious for the Sens and relegated to benchwarming status.

Rookie of the Year

Evgeni Malkin — This pick’s a no-brainer. Malkin should end up with better than a point per game and gets the added bonus of complementing Crosby to start out his career.

Comeback Player of the Year

Jean-Sebastian Giguere — A good regular season, but a playoff no-show led to questions regarding the former Conn Smyth winner. This season, however, Giguere may be the best goalie in the league.

Presented by RotoRob:

GM of the Month Award

In mid-July, Neil Smith had been at the helm of the Islanders for exactly 40 days when owner/software mogul Charles Wang decided it was time for a change. Uh yeah’so just a month and change after hiring him, the Isles dump a guy who helped build a Stanley Cup winner for the Rangers and give the job to’their back-up goalie??? That’s right ‘ Garth Snow ascended to the throne of the Islanders after the quick departure of Smith. Had the ink even dried on Smith’s business cards yet?

2006 RotoRob Awards

Basketball
Fashion and Celebrity
Football
Baseball

And let’s not forget our readers. As a special thank you we offer you the first annual RotoRob Awards, divided into five categories: baseball, basketball, fashion and celebrity, football and hockey.

Today, we kick off the Best of 2006 with the 2006 RotoRob Basketball Awards.

Fantasy Stud of the Year

There are few players who can truly help you across the board the way Shawn Marion can. While he hasn’t been quite able to match last year’s ridiculous totals (52.5 FG percentage, 21.8 PPG, 11.9 RPG, 2.0 SPG, 1.7 BPG), he’s been damn close and has improved his FT shooting to 85.1 per cent this season. Not only is Marion an absolutely fantasy monster, but he’s probably the most underrated player in the NBA. Hell he’s not even considered the best player on his own team.

Dud of the Year

Isn’t it about time to strip Kenyon Martin of his K-Mart title and hand it over to its new deserving owner, Kevin Martin? Seven years after being taken first overall, Kenyon Martin continues to frustrate and disappoint his owners. Sure, his performance has been dragged down by injury (just 58 combined games the past two years and only two this season before season-ending surgery), but even at his best ‘ the season before wearing out his welcome in Jersey ‘ he wasn’t that good, especially from the line, where he’s always struggled. With career marks of 14.8 PPG and 7.4 RPG, Martin is almost in line for a career lack of achievement award. Honourable mention: Shaquille O’Neal. Isn’t it about time for Shaq to pull a Rocket Roger and just start his season late every year?

Rookie of the Year

Chris Paul is a slam dunk here, but bear in mind that only a portion of his rookie season transpired in the 2006 calendar year. So who gets the nod for the 2006 portion of the 06-07 season? Believe it or not, Jorge Garbajosa is the man so far. Is he truly a rookie? Only by the NBA’s warped standards. But still, with a FG percentage that’s better than Adam Morrison (not that hard to do) and Andrea Bargnani, plus better rebounding skills than either, not to mention all the intangibles, I give the nod to Garbo. By season’s end, I believe Bargnani will have surpassed him, but these are the 2006 Awards, so’

Comeback Player of the Year

We’re finally getting to see what Carlos Boozer can do when he’s healthy. Limited to 84 games the past two years, he is exceeding everyone’s expectations this season and has to be considered an early MVP favourite thanks to 21.5 points, 11.6 rebounds and 3.1 assists per game. Boozer has 23 double-doubles through 31 games.

Smartest NBA PR Decision

Ron Artest, sentenced to one year of probation for his part in the legendary 2004 Indy-Detroit brawl, was ordered to perform community service as part of his sentence. So what’s he been doing to pay his debt to society? Well, it seems Ron-Ron has been spending time shaping young, impressionable minds by talking to children about his experiences.

Ah yes, that’s a good role model for kids. Here’s one of his gems from a talk in front of 50 children in Detroit: ‘Someone started trouble, and I ended it,’ he said of his part in what’s considered one of the worst brawls in American sports history.

Is there a parent out there that wouldn’t love their child coming home with that kind of message from an athlete they idolize?

NBA NRA Man of the Year Award

There are plenty of candidates here (Stephen Jackson, Sebastian Telfair), but former NBAer Lonny (Looney?) Baxter has to take the cake for firing a gun out of his vehicle near the White House in August. Dude, of all the places in the world to blast away, could you choose a stupider location to get trigger happy? That stunt landed him two months in a different kind of house. Well, at least Baxter will now know what he’d look like in Bobat orange.

Tasers on Stun

Why limit ourselves to gun chat when the Pistons’ Dale Davis had the pleasure of being Tasered by police while vacationing in Florida in August? Police were called to the scene of an argument that Davis was having with the hotel staff where he was staying, and after what Davis described as some racially motivated treatment by the cops, he called them rednecks. So they Tasered the 6′11′ Davis. Davis has since been cleared of all the charges, but let this be a lesson to all who are thinking about vacationing in Florida. Want footage? You got it.

Dropping the Ball Award

The NBA dropped the ball big-time when it switched to the microfiber composite ball this season. Word recently broke on how the change came about. Apparently, Nanci Alexander, animal-rights supporter and wife of Rockets’ owner Leslie, convinced David Stern’s wife (a good friend of hers’) to put the bug in the commish’s ear that the old leather ball should be replaced with the current animal-free microfiber composite.

But let’s give some props to Stern and the NBA. After countless players moaned about the new ball (including stars like LeBron James), the association relented and will switch back to the classic leather pumpkin for 2007.

As an aside, Spalding is offering rebates to customers who bought the composite ball. Nice touch.

Unfortunately, animals will once again perish at the hands of the NBA, but hey, a shooter’s got to be able to shoot, right?

2006 RotoRob Awards

Fashion and Celebrity
Hockey
Football
Baseball