Neither Eva’s hose nor her hoisery could slow down the Lakers.

Eva Spurred on by Paparazzi

Upon arriving in Los Angeles for Game Five between her husband Tony Parker’s Spurs and the Lakers, Eva Longoria was grilled by the Paparazzi about how she felt about her man’s team being down. Was she hassled by the Lakers’ fans on the plane, wondered the TMZ reporter? Uh, dude, probably not nearly as bad as you’re hassling her, ya asswipe. Strangely, Eva didn’t have much to say on how San Antonio could get back in the series. In fact, she didn’t have much to say at all. Anyways, Parker and the Spurs were taken out by the Lakers, leaving the couple of begin their off-season vacation plans earlier than expected. Check out the video here.

Mikey Likes It

On Saturday, guess who was seen at the UFC match at MGM Garden in Las Vegas? Michael Jackson of all people was spotted taking the action, And get this – there were no pre-pubescent boys on the card for the evening. Go figure!

Candor at Cannes

Among the talk of the town at Cannes was James Toback’s 90-minute documentary Tyson, about former boxing champion/convict Mike Tyson. The entire film is essentially one long interview with Tyson, whose candor is nothing if not refreshing. He spills his guts about virtually every component of his controversial life, both in and out of the ring. First, Tyson would bite your ear off; now, he just talks it off. I guess that’s progress, isn’t it?

May 30th, 2008
Categories: Misc., RotoRob, Squeeze Play . Author: RotoRob . Comments: 4 Comments

Hmmm…spending the offseason tossing the pigskin around or porking this? Tom Brady faces a tough call.

Seeking Shade(s) in Ibiza

Are you wondering how Tom Brady is spending his offseason? What’s his workout regimen? How is he planning on preparing for the 2008 season to help the Patriots get back to the Super Bowl? Well, as part of his recent world trekking, he was spending time in Ibiza with gal pal Gisele Bundchen. They were at the world-famous party destination to be on hand for the unveiling of Vogue’s new collection of sunglasses. So, to answer your question, weights and workouts have been replaced by supermodels and shades. Nice work if you can get it.

Spice of Life

Speaking of off field encounters, David and Victoria Beckham were seen at the Elton John concert in Las Vegas last month. Damn, they even brought their boys along to the weekend show. Isn’t it grand that the couple is exposing their children to “alternative lifestyles” at such a young age? After all, Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting.

Anna Not Ready to Settle

Apparently, Anna Kournikova is not ready to settle for just one mixed doubles partner. The word on the street is that the tennis babe’s boyfriend, Enrique Iglesias, has repeatedly attempted to convince Anna to marry him, but to date, he keep double faulting.

The pair has been together for three years, and obviously Enrique is ready to settle. But, Anna? No way, Jose. Clearly, she’s holding out for RotoRob. And really, who could blame her? Damn, I might even let her serve to me, so to speak.

May 3rd, 2008
Categories: Misc., RotoRob, Squeeze Play . Author: RotoRob . Comments: 2 Comments

Enough with the scouting reports, Anna. Show us some booty!

Why are Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen being so close mouthed about this alleged sex tape? So what if they were supposedly caught doing the mummy and daddy dance in a private restaurant wine cellar? What’s a little porking and corking between friends?

Besides, sex tapes are so February 2001. I mean, jeez, everybody has one by now.

What’s the big deal? Just put the damn thing on YouTube already and let’s all move on.

Scouting Report

Kris Benson is trying to revive his flagging career and apparently has been impressive in his workouts for the Phillies as he tries to work his way back from injuries.

Wife Anna was there to provide a scouting report, saying “Kris looks great.”

Uh, thanks, Anna. We were actually here to check out his fastball, not his butt. However, if you want to show us some booty, we’re okay with that.

The Great One Takes his Hacks

Former hockey uber stud Wayne Gretzky dropped by the Royals’ training camp last week and, along with his wife and son, took some batting practice.

The Great One has often said that when he was growing up, he wanted to be a baseball player. Instead, he settled on being the greatest player in the history of the NHL.

Of course, longtime wife Janet Jones has had her share of close encounters with balls, having appeared in the movie “A League of Their Own.”

The word on the street was that Jones was taking BP quite seriously, heading over to the video camera to check her swing after each hack.

Sure she wasn’t just checking her makeup?

At any rate, even the Royals aren’t sad enough to sign Jones or her 47-year-old husband. Or are they? What do you think the odds are on that one? Where’s Rick Tocchet when you need him?

March 26th, 2008
Categories: RotoRob, Squeeze Play . Author: RotoRob . Comments: No Comments

I’m not feeling the love between Hulk and Linda Hogan these days.

Apparently, the easiest way to bag yourself a Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Male Award is to bag Jessica Simpson.

It’s uncanny. Consider that last year, Jessica’s ex-hubby Nick Lachey earned the Fun Fearless Male of the Year Award.

This year, three more Simpson lovers - past and present - were honoured by the mag. John Mayer took home the Fun Fearless Male of the Year Award, while Dane Cook and Simpson’s current beau, Tony Romo, also both won awards.

Okay, lest you think only Simpson conquests win these things, that’s not the case, but clearly, those that have carnal knowledge of her are shoo-ins for this honour.

I get the Fearless part - you’ve got to have balls of steel to deal with her, but Fun? What’s fun about having your life become tabloid fodder? Okay, don’t answer that.

Get Outta Bed, Beeyatch

In other Simpson news (ugh, I know, I can’t stand it anymore, either), it’s been revealed that she has major issues with insomnia and can apparently only sleep at night if she lies on the floor.

“It’s a mental thing,” she says.

Uh, you got that right.

Simpson often has to leave Romo alone in their bed of bliss while she sleeps on the floor. What? Isn’t that Dallas Cowboys’ comforter cozy enough for you?

Anyways, is it just me or doesn’t she realize that it’s no accident she’s winding up on the floor each morning? Hey, she can pretend that she’s making the conscious decision to leave bed and lie on the floor, but let’s get real here. Tony - no doubt channeling his inner punter - has nothing to do with this? Riiiiiiiigggghhht.

In other matters, I am sick of writing about these two, but hey, they are the hot athlete-celeb couple now. Believe me, I search high and low for anything I can write about other than this pair, but there’s just nothing out there now. If you’ve had it with this couple as well, feel free to send me your celebrity-athlete news tips.

Putting the Kids First

Things are getting ugly between Linda and Hulk Hogan, embroiled in a bitter divorce. According to legal documents obtained by TMZ.com, Linda is claiming that Hulk is using their son Nick to deliver messages related to the divorce. She also charges the wrestler with telling the kid secrets that he didn’t want Linda to be aware of.

Linda is asking the courts to order Hulk to stop talking to Nick about the divorce.

Ah, I feel the love.

March 9th, 2008
Categories: RotoRob, Squeeze Play . Author: RotoRob . Comments: 1 Comment

Floyd Mayweather has some seriously fine taste in bling. (TMZ.com)

Wrestler Floyd Mayweather celebrated his 31st birthday in style last week, taking Vegas by storm with both a lovely hottie on his arm (R&B singer Keisha Cole) and some serious accessories.

Round his neck, ‘Pretty Boy’ was sporting a huge-ass pendant that said “Philthy Rich.” The necklace, capable of being seen from space, was gaudy enough to make Mr. T blush.

As if that wasn’t enough, Mayweather was spotted walking around with fistfuls of cash. Who even uses bills anymore? Hello? Cash Card?

Plastic Passion

If you’re a stargazer, you have to check out this web site I came across recently. Have you ever wondered which celebrities are having cosmetic work done? Who’s getting their B cups augmented? Who’s attending the Botox Bash?

Check out AwfulPlasticSurgery.com for the real scoop. Unfortunately, the site is set up in such a manner that I can’t steer you to any particular articles, but on the home page currently is a fascinating comparison of Eva Longoria from five years ago to more recent images, where it appears that she is all Botoxed-up. The evidence is pretty overwhelming. Damn, maybe they ought to extend all those athlete drug tests to their wives.

Word to the wise: Make sure you don’t check it out before you have lunch. Come to think of it, viewing this right after eating isn’t such a good idea either.

Not Singing the Marriage Tune

Rest easy, ladies. It appears Enrique Iglesias will remain eligible to an extent as he is not ready to marry long-time girlfriend, “tennis” goddess Anna Kournikova.

The pop star, who recently set a new record for Latin artists with his 18th No. 1 hit on Billboard’s Hot Latin Songs list (what? More than Jose Feliciano?), says that marriage “is a big responsibility.”

No kidding. No wonder you’re such a role model.

“I’m a bit neurotic,” Iglesias said. “But I feel lucky. Anna is a great girl and we complement each other very well.”

Possible translation: ‘I have abhorrent, deeply-rooted sexual issues that manifest themselves in extreme fetish behaviour, but she is a wild tart and is up for anything.’ Or something like that.

March 3rd, 2008
Categories: RotoRob, Squeeze Play . Author: RotoRob . Comments: No Comments