Home of Our Founding Fathers

Spending the weekend in Washington, D.C., during Week 16 turned into a mixed blessing. I had a great time working, but my cell phone bill for December is likely to go through the roof (more on that later). While there for four days I made five big observations:

1. Much like the people in the city, the homeless folks are a bit aggressive. In fact, one almost followed my group back to the hotel asking for money.

2. While meandering through the Georgetown district, I passed by George Will, who had the same peculiar scowl on his face that he always does when on television. I wondered to myself is this guy ever happy? He mostly talks about politics and Cal Ripken. I don’t think that’s a good combo that leads to a happy life.

3. While in the American University gymnasium last Friday, I saw the retired jersey of former Los Angeles Laker Kermit Washington. Because of the famous Rudy Tomjanovich incident, it’s completely forgotten that Washington was a successful basketball player at one point of his career.

4. The Christmas tree in front of the Capitol building is 144 years old! I don’t why but it was one of the most fascinating things I’ve learned in weeks.

5. While watching the Ravens/Cowboys game at a bar on Saturday night, a group of guys dressed as Santa Claus were in the midst of a bar hopping tour throughout downtown Washington. It was the same group of tuned up guys I’d seen three hours earlier while at a restaurant for dinner. Note to self: nothing says Christmas like seeing a group of drunk and sloppy Santa Clauses.

One of the trip’s highlights turned out to be the three and a half hour bus ride back home without a great phone for Internet access and just texting access to find out how my players were doing in a championship game.

Knowing that my team held a slim three-point lead, I kept sending text updates about Andre Johnson and Marshawn Lynch. Both had relatively bad days except for the fact that Lynch scratched out a touchdown.

Few things in the realm of sports fandom is as annoying as not being able to watch football games if you have some monetary interests in the contest. Getting repeated texts that Johnson has zero catches isn’t exactly the most uplifting of things on a Sunday evening.

The two most puzzling developments of the day turned out to be that my eventual title victory was aided by Texan tight end Owen Daniels and the Seattle defense (thanks Brett Favre).

It’s further proof that during fantasy championship week, you need all hands on deck because you just can’t count on your stars to get it done every week.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 16

1. Derek Ward made a good chunk of change last Sunday night: En route to a 215-yard rushing day, Ward may have bolted to the top of the free agent charts in the offseason by beating up the Panthers and possibly saving the Giants’ postseason run in the process. Some may seem him as Michael Turner Lite in another NFL town next season.

2. The Arizona Cardinals are D.O.A.: The phrase “just happy to be there” clearly applies to the Cardinals, who have lost their last two games by a combined score of 82-21. Never was it more evident than last week in Foxborough, Massachusetts, when the Patriots took their lunch money, 47-7.

3. Tony Romo isn’t exactly conjuring up memories of Roger Staubach: The two long touchdown runs by Willis McGahee and LeRon McClain actually helped Romo apply some plastic surgery to his stats and enhance his performance on paper. However, through the first three and a half quarters, he looked and played scared versus Baltimore last Saturday night. When the pressure amps up, he tends to wilt. The Cowboys might find their way into the playoffs, but unless Romo gets going, they’ll be hard pressed to make a big run.

4. Peyton Manning reads Two Minute Warning…in my dreams: Since I decried Peter King’s backing of Manning for MVP, Peyton has thrown for 277, 318 and 364 yards in the past three games. He still isn’t the MVP because of who he’s doing this against. Yet, he’s more than capable of carrying the Colts to a few post-season wins.

5. Philip Rivers is making a push into the top five of fantasy quarterbacks for 2009: Heading into the ’09 season, you’d have to consider the top five fantasy quarterbacks as Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Romo, Tom Brady and possibly Rivers in that mix. The San Diego offense is clearly in his hands with a declining LaDainian Tomlinson.

6. Yet again, the weather won in the northeast: It was a brutal weekend for quarterbacks on the east coast that weren’t named Matt Cassel. Warner threw for 30 yards; Donovan McNabb didn’t throw a touchdown pass; and Eli Manning and Jake Delhomme both failed to reach 200 yards and combined to throw one touchdown pass. Cold, windy and snowy conditions are almost always a recipe for disaster in the fantasy playoffs.

7. Brett Favre’s career is just about over: Favre seemingly wears out towards season’s end and doesn’t have quite the zip his passes once possessed. The end is here. Hopefully he makes the right decision and decides to hang them up (for real, this time).

8. Apparently, DeAngelo Williams is on par with Jim Brown: Williams is one 30-yard plus touchdown run short of Brown’s all-time single-season record of seven touchdown runs of at least 30 yards, set back in 1958. Perhaps over the holiday season, Williams dropped off some Rolexes to his hard at work offensive linemen.

9. Week 16 set a potentially dangerous Week 17 for those who are still playing: I sure hope your fantasy season is over at this point because Week 17 is usually the “we’re not sure how much time he’ll see on the field” week. That typically costs someone dearly in the end. Please monitor those situations carefully like the Tennessee/Indy game where neither team can change its playoff positioning.

10. Enjoy this Detroit team; you may never see anything like it again: With several Detroit players suffering from the flu last Sunday, the Saints brutalized the Lions to the tune of a 42-7 win. If you’re unfortunate enough to view the Packers/Lions game on Sunday, raise your glass in tribute to the Lions. It takes an extremely untalented bunch to go 0-16.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Adrian Peterson (1) – He doesn’t have that boffo touchdown total to his credit yet and he is having fumbling issues, which is a concern.

2. DeAngelo Williams (3) – Everyone who had Williams scoring 20 touchdowns this season raise your hand.

3. Michael Turner (2) – Perhaps, the steadiest of fantasy running backs this season.

4. Drew Brees (4) – A trip to Detroit cured his road woes.

5. Philip Rivers (NR) – His four-touchdown day in Tampa further solidifies his positioning as a future big time quarterback.

6. Andre Johnson (7) – Sunday’s performance versus Oakland was further proof that the Raiders actually have some pretty good football players.

7. Larry Fitzgerald (10) – The dreaded garbage time touchdown from Fitzgerald was the only thing to write home about for the Cardinals.

8. Calvin Johnson (8) – A flu-ridden Dan Orlovsky and a touchdown called back due to penalty robbed Johnson of a potential monster game.

9. Brian Westbrook (5) – If Westbrook is the starting tailback, why is the quarterback 20 passes away from setting the team’s all-time record for pass attempts in a season? Plain dumb.

10. Thomas Jones (9) – The Jets evidently loathe the west coast.

Links of the Week

ESPN ran its Greatest Game Ever special, a review of the epic ’58 Colts/Giants NFL Title game. While it’s hailed as the NFL’s landmark game, I have at least 10 games that were better and are required viewing for NFL fans assuming you can find the games within somewhat legal means.

1. The Catch – 1982 NFC Championship Game: Dallas vs. San Francisco

2. The Ice Bowl – 1967 NFL Championship Game: Dallas vs. Green Bay

3. Sea of Hands – 1974 AFC Divisional Playoff: Miami vs. Oakland

4. Wide Right – Super Bowl XXV: NY Giants vs. Buffalo

5. The Dennis Green Game – October 2006: Chicago vs. Arizona

6. The Shoulder Game – January 1994: Dallas vs. NY Giants

7. The Longest Yard - Super Bowl XXXIV: St. Louis vs. Tennessee

8. Favre Is Overrated and This One’s For John – Super Bowl XXXII: Denver vs. Green Bay

9. Montana vs. Elway – October 1994: Monday Night Football

10. No Three Peat – 1990 NFC Championship Game: NY Giants vs. San Francisco

Next Week: We’ll review the best fantasy moments of the regular season. And stayed tuned shortly for the 2008 RotoRob Football Awards.

December 26th, 2008
Categories: Derek Jones, FOOTBALL, Two Minute Warning . Author: Derek Jones . Comments: No Comments

Last Call

With the holiday season in full swing, thoughts arise of yuletide greetings, overindulging on egg nog, ducking shopping duties with your girlfriend to watch football and gorging yourself on food.

However, the holiday season also marks the end. Week 16 is here and for most leagues that means the end of the fantasy football season. A voyage that begins for most in August amidst beer drinking and consuming copious amounts of pizza ends by Christmas time.

It’s a bittersweet time because most teams are finished by now. So, if you’re an owner fortunate enough to still be setting a lineup, the final moments before championship week are here.

Thus, when Week 17 arrives there isn’t a lineup to set or a player to yell at because he keeps running out of bounds (yeah, I’m talking to you Reggie Bush and Steve Slaton) or because he might show disturbing psychological behavior somewhat similar to a world renowned chess champion. It’s all over.

Football is football and it’s fun, but after training our mind in the wacky world of fantasy football for five months, the detox process is very difficult.

As some random ’80s hair band said years ago, “there’s a whole in my heart and it can only be filled by you.”

I’m 99.9 per cent sure that song had nothing to do with fantasy football, but it still best describes my feelings toward it. Now, I have to do other things with my life, like pick up cooking, or go to graduate school or learn how to play chess or read a few books.

August 2009 is a long way off. When the clock strikes triple zeros in Chicago on Monday night, the march towards summer for fantasy football fans begins again.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 15

1. The New York Giants will not make the Super Bowl: I know it’s chic to jump off the Giant bandwagon, but keep one thing in perspective as we approach the NFL playoffs — two of the biggest reasons the Giants defeated one of the greatest teams in NFL history in Super Bowl XLII was great offensive line play and Plaxico Burress’ ability to create mismatches in the secondary. Heading into Week 16, they don’t lack both and that pass rush isn’t quite as ferocious either.

2. The Tennessee Titans will not make the Super Bowl: It was a nice story but as the Jags found out last season, this isn’t 1974 anymore and you can’t literally run your way to the Super Bowl. At some point, the quarterback and receivers must saddle up and make plays. Kerry Collins and company failed to do so last Sunday in Houston.

3. If fantasy owners have players facing the Steelers or Ravens, man up and sit your players: So, turning on the television after work on Sunday and seeing the score of “Baltimore 9, Pittsburgh 6” during the fourth quarter ranked as a big of a surprise as finding out that water is wet. Championship week offers ominous matchups for the Cowboys who’ll play Baltimore and the Titans, who’ll play the Steelers. Unless it’s an absolute necessity, consider sitting anyone playing against the Steeler or Raven defenses.

4. Marion Barber’s fantasy value in 2009 will not be of first round quality: At the beginning of the Cowboy training camp in 2009, they’ll have Barber, Tashard Choice and Felix Jones at running back. That’s a crowded backfield and it means ultimately that a lot of touches must go around for the running game. With the home run capabilities of Choice and Jones, don’t expect Barber to be a first round pick in fantasy drafts.

5. Andre Johnson should be the number one ranked fantasy receiver in 2009…if we could somehow be assured of a clean bill of health for Matt Schaub: It’s a pretty simple concept. When Sage Rosenfels plays, Johnson is good but not as dangerous. When Schaub is in, Johnson is the best receiver in the league because he provides the complete package. He’s physical, possesses great hands and can scoot after the catch. Consider him the number one receiver in the NFL and fantasy football heading into next season.

6. If Johnson is number one, Calvin Johnson will be number two if he’s ever fortunate enough to play with mostly one quarterback during a season: Jon Kitna, Dan Orlovsky, Daunte Culpepper, Drew Henson, and Drew Stanton were the quarterbacks fortunate enough to throw to Johnson this season. Sadly, a player as gifted as Johnson must put with that rubbish at quarterback. Nonetheless, he’s established himself as a major threat. Just imagine if he had a competent quarterback.

7. Ben Roethlisberger is the NFL MVP: I’m fully aware we live in the age of numbers and that it’s the only way to significantly measure a player’s importance according to some. Yet, I’m throwing my support for NFL MVP behind Ben (I will no longer use the R word because it’s too long and gives my Microsoft Word spell check a big headache). Despite his less than spectacular passer rating of 80.2, Ben (or as some call him, 7) survived the league’s toughest schedule in the last 25 years, a mediocre offensive line, and managed to stage fourth quarter heroics versus Baltimore (twice), Jacksonville, San Diego and Dallas. The end result is that Pittsburgh is AFC North Champion and poses as a legitimate contender to win the Super Bowl.

8. The lesser knowns often lead to fantasy championships: If you had Pierre Thomas and Antonio Bryant in your lineup this week, you clearly outperformed someone armed with LaDainian Tomlinson and Terrell Owens.

9. Stars will turn into goats: Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald didn’t get it done last week against Minnesota, Brian Westbrook failed to throttle the Browns and Jay Cutler threw up a clunker at Carolina. Welcome to the most miserable time of the year for some fantasy owners.

10. Ride the bad matchups to the finish line: The Saints visit Detroit, while the 49ers head to St. Louis. Obviously any Saint is in play, while 49ers quarterback Shaun Hill poses as an intriguing option. Also, Kansas City hosts Miami, in what should be a cake walk for the Dolphins.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Adrian Peterson (4) – Ladies and gentlemen, the number one overall pick in 2009 fantasy football drafts.

2. Michael Turner (5) – Turner will not sneak up anyone next season but he’s lived up to the billing and then some in 2008.

3. DeAngelo Williams (3) – A part of the best running game in the NFL.

4. Drew Brees (1) – Road Brees and Home Brees aren’t quite Dr. Jekylll and Mr. Hyde, but it’s not far off when comparing the numbers.

5. Brian Westbrook (7) – Despite not scoring, he moves up two spots because he’s likely to slam the ‘Skins on Sunday.

6. Kurt Warner (2) – He’s not running out of gas like Brett Favre, but teams are taking away what he likes to do and putting more pressure on him.

7. Andre Johnson (NR) – The Tennessee secondary is glad not to see Johnson anymore this season.

8. Calvin Johnson (NR) – He is matchup proof and must start against anyone.

9. Thomas Jones (6) – Thomas, your 15 minutes of fame are about up.

10. Larry Fitzgerald (8) – Warner’s demise down the stretch affected Fitzgerald last week versus Minnesota.

Link of the Week

It’s Christmas time and that means reliving holiday movies. No, no, no. I’m not going to subject you to a link featuring A Christmas Story, which will be on a lot over the next week.

Instead, I’ll offer up some Chevy Chase from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Nothing quite says Christmas like Clark W. Griswold being denied his Christmas bonus!

Next Week: It’s a field trip to Washington, D.C.!

December 18th, 2008
Categories: Derek Jones, FOOTBALL, Two Minute Warning . Author: Derek Jones . Comments: 1 Comment

The Road to Glory Begins

It’s make or break time for many fantasy owners out there. The decisions made over the next few days will decide whether owners have a little extra money to buy their significant others more gifts or if they’ll swallow the bitter pill of defeat.

This time of year is often nerve wracking for yours truly. In fact, my hysteria will be at an all-time high this season. No, not because I’m benching Frank Gore and Marshawn Lynch in favour of Pierre Thomas and LenDale White, but for a far more significant reason.

This week, I’m working on Sunday during the afternoon games and then, the following week — which will serve as the championship game for my league — I’ll be in Washington, D.C., to cover a basketball game during Week 16 action. While I’ll see jumpers flying in the air, I’ll be wondering whether Calvin Johnson can grab a garbage time score for my team.

Fantasy sports have become ingrained into the culture of sports to such a heightened state that it often blurs the line for fans. I’m not ashamed to say this, but if Donovan McNabb of my beloved Eagles goes out on Monday Night Football and throws six interceptions in a 47-10 loss to the Cleveland Browns, I might be more devastated about Drew Brees of my fantasy team throwing four picks and getting held to 175 yards without a touchdown versus the Bears.

Is there something fundamentally wrong with such irrational thinking?

Brees is my fantasy team’s flagship player. My squad is 12-2 and should win the championship. In my heart of hearts, I know that McNabb and company have a big fat expiration date on their season. Whether it ends in Week 17 at home versus Dallas or in a playoff loss at the Meadowlands, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Yet, dropping a league playoff game to me might as well be Team Russia’s hockey team losing to the United States in the 1980 Olympics. I’ll sulk for months. Meanwhile, if the Eagles are fortunate enough to make the playoffs and then lose 27-10 to the Giants, I’ll say I told you so.

Nonetheless, not being able to follow your team in a playoff game by watching the action on television is not a pretty thing. I would never pick up smoking, but if I trail at any point on Sunday, I’ll consider it. Instead of sitting down in front of a 46-inch TV screen on Sunday, I’ll be putting my nose to the grindstone at work.

I think I’ll be okay until I read the first online update during the Texans/Titans clash that reads:

25-L. White left guard to TEN 41 for -1 yards

I’m a creature of habit and Sundays at 1 p.m. during the fall and winter is my habit. Taking me away from it is akin to taking a fish out of his bowl, putting it on the ground and watching it flap away while away from its natural habitat.

Hence, the challenge begins. I’ll have to survive the next two Sundays as my fantasy team hopefully flies to a championship — I hope.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 14

1. The Philadelphia Eagles obituary isn’t quite ready yet: The only way the Eagles could salvage their season and possibly save their quarterback’s seemingly fragile state was to just hand the keys over to Brian Westbrook. After looking beaten up and worn out over the past few weeks, Westbrook compiled six touchdowns over two games including a 203-total yards, two-touchdown outburst to help the Birds upset the Giants last Sunday. Next up will be the Cleveland Browns, who should be in store for a massacre.

2. The 2008 season has been a bizarre ride: With the many oddities that have occurred thus far during the 2008 season, it didn’t sink in just how strange a year it has been until reading a line in Mike Lombardi’s Saints/Bears preview on the National Football Post web site:

Bears need to double Lance Moore on every key down. He is the man the QB looks for to make a play. Jeremy Shockey has no touchdowns this season.

On the list of things I didn’t think I’d read this season, doubling Moore is one of them. After all, remember Marques Colston? Furthermore, before season’s start, of the receivers I’d double in this league, Moore would have been 171st on my list, right behind Dallas’ Sam Hurd. It just proves how strange the NFL can be.

3. Pierre Thomas is a fantasy star: With the steady erosion of Deuce McAllister’s career and Reggie Bush being injured and basically becoming a glorified scat back, Thomas has forged to the front of a crowded Saint backfield to post solid numbers. Amazingly, Thomas has the same number of touchdowns (seven) as LaDainian Tomlinson.

4. December and Tony Romo are not friends: During his two years and change as a starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, Romo’s Decembers live a little to be desired. After another winter meltdown against Pittsburgh, he has thrown 12 touchdowns and 17 interceptions in games played in December. His play is likely to end your fantasy season.

5. Get ready to jump off that Jet bandwagon: Following a great performance against the Titans, the New York Bretts laid two straight eggs including a surprising loss to the 49ers. Only Thomas Jones possesses fantasy value of any merit at this point of the season. That Favre fella should already be on your bench.

6. Here’s a rule of thumb for 2009 — leave the Bronco running back situation to the waiver wire: Let’s avoid the headache that will be Denver’s backfield situation during the offseason and wait to see who takes control before jumping to conclusions on who will be the man in the Mile High city. I have a thought. Isn’t it possible that perhaps none of these guys are that good and it’s another example of how Mike Shanahan can’t really evaluate personnel?

7. Operation Shutdown is in full effect in Jacksonville: Besides San Diego, Jacksonville represents the league’s biggest disappointment. Jacksonville’s David Garrard was supposed to utilize the skill set of an athletic group of receivers and breathe new life into the Jaguars’ passing game, while the running game was supposed mow down the opposition again. Neither happened and the Jag offense ranks 21st in the league.

8. Joseph Addai’s value continues to fall: Ranked as high as third at running back by some publications, Addai’s fall has coincided with the struggles of Indy’s offensive line. Addai only cracked the 100-yard mark once and that game represents the only time he surpassed at least 80 yards rushing. Averaging just 3.5 yards per carry, the last hope for Addai to be a big time producer is this Sunday when the Colts host the winless Lions.

9. Keep your eyes on trends down the stretch: Typically, teams that struggled throughout the season finally get it together towards season’s end. This year’s example might be the Houston Texans. With Matt Schaub back in the fold for Houston, its passing game is back in form. Just ask the Green Bay Packers. Always look for those hot teams at season’s end that have guys who are on a roll.

10. Don’t be afraid to gamble in the fantasy playoffs: Names like Tomlinson, Jackson and Moss may not carry you to fantasy glory in 2008. Instead, guys like Pierre Thomas and Antonio Bryant might be the men of the hour. Sometimes, the only way to succeed in the playoffs is by sitting some of the bigger names and going with the lesser known, but more productive commodities.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Drew Brees (1) – It’s going to be awfully cold in Chicago on Thursday night, but Brees has played well, statistically, in his last two visits.

2. Kurt Warner (2) – Unless there is a letdown for ‘Zona, Warner poses a bad matchup for the Vikings.

3. DeAngelo Williams(5) – Speaking of bad matchups, the Broncos best hope that Williams is a bit winded from Monday night.

4. Adrian Peterson (3) – With Tarvaris Jackson back in the lineup, he can expect a bunch of eight man fronts on Sunday.

5. Michael Turner (6) – Tampa’s pride was greatly bruised on Monday night. Don’t be surprised if the Bucs take it out on Turner.

6. Thomas Jones (4) – Jones is the last Jet with any redeeming fantasy value this season.

7. Brian Westbrook (NR) – Six touchdowns in the last two weeks is a surefire way to put you back on this list.

8. Larry Fitzgerald (8) – Another week, another touchdown for Fitz.

9. Anquan Boldin (9) – He’s due for another bust out game.

10. Tony Romo (7) – He’s due for another bad performance in December.

Link of the Week

Years ago, I bought a Saturday Night Live Best of 1983 video. It featured the funniest skit I’d ever seen in my life at the time. After the first couple of viewings, I almost injured myself from laughing so hard. Twenty five years later I’m not sure how well this holds over time considering the litany of gross out humour thrown our way these days, but Buckwheat Buys the Farm is mandatory viewing for any SNL or Eddie Murphy fan from the ’80s. It teaches an important lesson: fear anyone with three names.

December 11th, 2008
Categories: Derek Jones, FOOTBALL, Two Minute Warning . Author: Derek Jones . Comments: 1 Comment

Two Minute Warning: PK + PM = LOVE

Let me preface what I’m about to write with the following. I’ve read Peter King’s stuff since I was in middle school and have the utmost respect for him. However, I lost my mind after reading this week’s edition of Monday Morning Quarterback.

In the aforementioned article, King delivered his MVP watch section, chronicling the top five candidates. His top choice? Peyton Manning. The logic proved to be patently absurd coming off a game where the Colts failed to score an offensive touchdown, despite winning 10-6 over Cleveland. Since everyone else went belly up that weekend, it’s only fair to catapult Manning back to the top of the list, King reasoned.

Manning’s stat line on Sunday lacked oomph. He threw for 125 yards and two interceptions. Under no circumstance should his play be extolled for its greatness after a game where by his own admission he was not up to snuff.

What about Albert Haynesworth or Kurt Warner as MVP? My bad. One is a defensive player and the other plays for a team that might not win more than one playoff game. Too boring and, most importantly for King, they aren’t a sacred cow.

For the uninitiated, NFL writers/talking heads seemingly have a list of sacred cows who under no circumstance will they say remotely anything too negative about. Otherwise, they risk banishment and being tarred in mid-town Manhattan near the NFL office. Here are a few examples:

Tom Brady
NFL cheerleaders
Brett Favre
Don Shula
The ’70s Steelers
The 1958 NFL Championship Game
Peyton Manning

Depending on which television network you’re watching, add Andy Reid to this list.

Anyways, the shilling for Manning is erroneous. Granted, he pulled a game or two out of the fire for them this season. However, his play has been just as empty and lackluster as some of his teammates at points this season.

Amazingly, Manning isn’t even the most valuable player on his team. That distinction goes to Texan QB Sage Rosenfels, whose hapless fourth quarter earlier this season against Indy may very well keep Miami and New England out of the playoffs, while the Colts hang around.

King’s pining for Manning is another example of why it takes forever for certain players in this league to be discovered despite how great their numbers might seem. Unless they win, they’re left in the media’s dust not to be discovered unless there is a possibility of their team winning 10 games. Instead, we just get the same stories, same articles, and same concepts from writers continuously. Pardon me while I hit the snooze button and fall back to sleep.

Peter, I dig your stuff but the bromance (that’s right, it’s a new term catching on, roll with it) needs to slow down a bit. It’s time you and Peyton took a break from each other.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 13

1. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg: In one of the leagues I participate in, owners can get an injury signing for players that are going to be out for an extended period of time. One owner asked if he could get a free signing for Plaxico Burress’s “injury.” My response was a curt “no.” Any NFL player who fumbles with his own gun in a club and shoots himself in the process doesn’t deserve the slightest bit of sympathy. By the way, in case you were wondering, he’ll never play for the Giants again.

2. The NFL needs to get its scheduling act together: Sending two west coast teams to Dallas and Philadelphia on short weeks was insanity. Seattle played Washington in Week 12, while Arizona played the World Champs. Having those two teams travel for Thanksgiving games after those games and expecting anything other than what you saw last Thursday was wishful thinking. That’s a poor job by the league.

3. I think Detroit is the worst team I’ve ever seen: The first 10 minutes of the Tennessee/Detroit last game last Thursday ranged from comical to horrifyingly bad. I think most of the ’87 strike teams put forth a better effort than Detroit did last week. This disgusting display forced me to watch Fear starring Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon. On the plus side, the Lions found something they could actually win — they were scarier than this flick.

4. Well, the weather is here: One of the most difficult parts of this time of year is figuring which players will be affected by the weather and how. Quarterbacks draw the biggest debate. The most deadly weather condition for quarterbacks is obviously wind because deep passes are held to a minimum, while other forms of precipitation can have mixed results. Prior to last Sunday’s game between the Jets and Broncos, the forecast predicted “lots of rain” for the Meadowlands. Instead, Jay Cutler threw for over 350 yards. Proceed with caution.

5. Norv Turner is killing the San Diego Chargers: While LT is not the same because of age and the toe injury, and Shawne Merriman is out, under no circumstance should this team be 4-8. Turner’s game mismanagement is damning and his preparation is suspect at best. Coming into the season, they had one of the league’s easiest schedules and should have prospered. Thanks, Norv.

6. Pittsburgh’s defense is a monster: Beware, Tony Romo owners (this means you, too, Jessica). After stonewalling another hot offense, the Steelers will aim to slow down the Cowboys. That pass rush and hard-hitting secondary are a load to deal with.

7. Tom Brady is your quarterback, New Englanders — wake up: Patriot fans called sports talk radio stations suggesting that maybe the team ought to trade Brady and keep Matt Cassel. Umm, no and no.

8. Cross your fingers in Week 15, Drew Brees’ owners: Brees’ biggest flaw this season is his play on the road, which was on display in its harmful capacity in Tampa Bay last Sunday. He’ll face the Bears in Chicago right in prime-time of the fantasy playoffs. Hopefully, the New Orleans’ passing game survives the Windy City.

9. Thomas Jones is going to give fantasy owners a gigantic headache next year: He’s on pace to finish with 1,450 yards and 14 touchdowns. Next season, he’ll be 30 years old, coming off a career year. I can’t wait to laugh at the owners who take him in the second round next season.

10. Don’t be fearful of your players going into enemy territory during the fantasy playoffs: Apparently, home field advantage isn’t as menacing as it once was. Last week, road teams went 11-5.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Drew Brees (2) – He gets the slight nod over Warner because at least Brees had a chance to win his game and nearly posted 300 yards passing. However, his three picks were deadly.

2. Kurt Warner (1) – Warner circa ’02-’06 returned last Thursday night. Turnovers and passes tipped at the line were staples during his career downturn towards the middle of the decade.

3. Adrian Peterson (5) – Peterson is probably going to be the number one pick in ’09, but monitor his carries this season. He’s going to finish awfully close to the 370 mark, which is bad news for the following season.

4. Thomas Jones (10) – Eat it up, Jones owners, you’re not likely to get this performance next season.

5. DeAngelo Williams (NR) – Remember Jonathan Stewart?

6. Michael Turner (7) – Even his old teammates couldn’t slow down Turner. By the way, is it wise for head coach Mike Smith to run his prized off-season acquisition into ground? Turner leads the league in carries.

7. Tony Romo (NR) – His next four games: Steelers, Giants, Ravens and Eagles. Good luck with that, Tony.

8. Larry Fitzgerald (8) – Fitz offered the lone statistical bright spot for Arizona in the Thanksgiving night drubbing by Philly.

9. Anquan Boldin (4) – An uncharacteristic off game for ‘Quan. Expect him to bounce back quickly.

10. Marion Barber (9) – Facing teams that have powerful pass rushes, Barber better have a strong finish to the season or the Cowboys will watch the playoffs from home. However, a dislocated toe will make that difficult.

Link of the Week

I’m not going to assume that FOX Sports will do its job when televising Sunday’s big game from Heinz Field by explaining simple things like franchise history. In honour of the Steelers playing the Cowboys, it’s time to step into the time machine and visit Super Bowl X in 1976. Speed ahead to the 4:25 mark of the video. Before he became a clown on FOX NFL Sunday, Terry Bradshaw could play a little quarterback. On a third and five late in the fourth quarter with the game on the line, Bradshaw handles his business the way a real quarterback should.

Keep in mind after watching the play that he was knocked out of the game and suffered a concussion because of the hit. Under the circumstances, it’s one of the greatest throws in NFL history.

December 4th, 2008
Categories: Derek Jones, FOOTBALL, Two Minute Warning . Author: Derek Jones . Comments: 1 Comment

Give Thanks You Don’t Reside In San Diego or Philadelphia

Before I get into stealth mode, please enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday in a happy and safe fashion. What a fabulous time of year to eat, eat, and eat some more. I’ll never be happier in my life to see cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes than this weekend.

Two gentlemen who enter the holiday season on unfavourable terms with their rooting public are San Diego head coach Norv Turnerand Philadelphia’s big boss Andy Reid.

Turner leads the underachieving Chargers, considered a pre-season Super Bowl favourite. Dogged by injuries and inconsistency, San Diego heads into the weekend at 4-7. While it’s a massive disappointment, it shouldn’t stand as a big surprise considering that Turner often plays with scared money.

San Diego has lost six games by seven points or less, can’t run with the suddenly mortal LaDainian Tomlinson and can’t defend the pass. All of these issues created the perfect storm Sunday night when the Chargers, trailing 20-17 to Indianapolis, elected to call a timeout and kick a field goal on fourth and two from the Indy 29 with 1:35 left.

When your team is 4-6 and you’re down at home by three against Peyton Manning, under no circumstance can you call a timeout and then not go for it. Kicking a field goal is a bad call because the ball goes back to a guy who the defense didn’t stop in the second half with over a minute left. Turner was scared to lose and didn’t play to win. In fact, he might as well have tattooed “I’m playing to lose” across his forehead.

It’s not the first go around for Norv at Conservative Coaches ‘R Us. Flashing back to last season’s AFC title game against the Pats, down 21-12, Turner elected to punt on a fourth and 10 from New England’s 36 with 9:21 left in the game.

That ranks as one of the poorest coaching decisions in recent post-season memory for two reasons. First, San Diego was playing the highest scoring team in league history on the road, down by two scores; secondly, it didn’t get the ball back after the punt.

There are certain coaches in this league that will never win it all because they are fatally flawed from a tactical standpoint. Turner is one and another is his brother in arms in Philadelphia, Reid.

The portly Eagle leader has become stale and delusional in his 10th year at the helm. Residing in one of the country’s most sleep deprived cities, it appears Reid has fallen asleep at the wheel of an old, beat up Chevy. Years of mediocre drafts and bad playcalling have finally caught up to the Eagles. One can only play Dave Campo, Jim Fassel and Steve Spurrier so many times before the cycles change and the NFC East catches up.

Reid’s frontman, quarterback Donovan McNabb, is past his prime and is physically eroding. Thursday night’s game notwithstanding, his play over the last few weeks in particular, bordered between poor and embarrassing; after being benched in favour of Kevin Kolb last week, it’s pretty clear the McNabb era is nearing an end.

Just in case that doesn’t do it for you, just remember Reid couldn’t even muster the courage to let the guy he drafted back in 1999 know that he was being benched. Reid’s gutless act is the exclamation point on a run that must end.

Reid and McNabb will likely be remembered for horribly mismanaging the final 5:40 of Super Bowl XXXIX. Their legacy is one of failing to take risks, not knowing the rules (ties do indeed exist, Donovan), pickle juice and vomiting during games. Ten years without a Super Bowl victory is long enough. The time for a divorce is here.

Let this be a life lesson, everyone. Those who are afraid to be risk takers don’t take home the ultimate prize.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 12

1. Beware of Tennessee Titans down the stretch: Chris Johnson and LenDale White petered out again last week versus the Jets. Once they polish off the Lions, be careful. As the fantasy playoffs approach, dead weight needs to go to the bench.

2. Drew Brees is locked in: Brees has nine straight games with at least one 40-yard plus pass play and is on target to surpass Dan Marino’s NFL record 5,084 yards passing set in 1984.

3. Terrell Owens’ outburst may be an aberration: The Cowboys finish up their regular season with a very difficult set of games. After Thanksgiving’s tilt against Seattle, the Cowboys face Pittsburgh, New York, Baltimore and Philadelphia. T.O.’s big day against San Francisco is likely to be one of his last this season.

4. Aaron Rodgers is going to steal money next season: Since Rodgers got a new contract, the Packers are under .500 and his play has dipped. Green Bay has dropped three of four and Rodgers has thrown four interceptions in the last three games.

5. LaDainian Tomlinson’s 2009 draft value is sinking with each passing week: Mock drafts for next season are beginning to pop up and Tomlinson is still a first rounder. I’m not exactly sure why. When runners decline at that age, they don’t return to elite status. He might perform better than this season but he is second round fodder at this point.

6. LeBron James is going to be a free agent after the 2009-10 NBA season: Every other sports outlet has a note about this. I figured what’s one more?

7. Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall are missing in action — again: Over the last eight quarters, Cutler has thrown just one touchdown pass and was shut out from the endzone the first time all season Sunday against Oakland. Meanwhile, Marshall’s descent continues. He has just one touchdown since Week Two and just two 100-yard receiving performances (his first two games). Cutler can’t approach his early season effectiveness if Marshall struggles.

8. Donovan McNabb will wear a different uniform next season: Scheduled to make over $10 million next season, it’s unlikely McNabb returns to the team. Someone will be held accountable for the Eagles not making the playoffs. San Francisco, Minnesota and Detroit are likely to be in the market for a quarterback in the offseason. Mac 5 needs a change of scenery and he may very well get that opportunity.

9. Adrian Peterson is an unhappy customer: Reportedly, Peterson missed time for disciplinary reasons against Jacksonville. It seems he’s a bit more agitated this season. On second thought, if my head coach was Brad Childress and I took handoffs from Gus Frerotte and Tarvaris Jackson, I wouldn’t be happy either.

10. Week 12 was the highest scoring week in NFL history: By week’s end, the Week 12 games combined to amass 837 points. With some dreadful defenses in St. Louis, Detroit and Kansas City don’t be surprised if that trend continues.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Kurt Warner (1) – The Giant defense contained Warner and limited run after catch which is huge versus ‘Zona.

2. Drew Brees (2) – If you’re a Brees’ owner, the Saints’ lack of running game is great. It just gives him more cracks at opposing secondaries.

3. Clinton Portis (5) – After an off week against Dallas, Portis was back in business in the Pacific Northwest.

4. Anquan Boldin (4) – New York would not allow him to shake free after the catch, but he still found the endzone.

5. Adrian Peterson (3) – He’s still missing that game this season.

6. Frank Gore (6) – A bad performance in Dallas will hopefully be erased against Buffalo.

7. Michael Turner (8) – Looks like the Chargers may have kept the wrong guy.

8. Larry Fitzgerald (7) – An ‘09 mock draft had Fitzgerald in front of Boldin. Enough, people!

9. Marion Barber (9) – If Dallas is to go anywhere this season, Barber must produce.

10. Thomas Jones (NR) – I’m stunned he’s actually here. However, a tip of the cap should go the Jets’ sterling offensive line.

Link of the Week

Athletes and singing is typically a lose-lose proposition. That’s especially the case when the song is entitled “Ram It.” The Los Angeles Rams decided to put together a musical ditty in the mid ’80s. The results were in a word, horrifying.

Not to be outdone, the other Los Angeles tenant (at the time, of course) decided to put together a song too. It’s more proof that Al Davis didn’t just start losing his mind five years ago.

November 28th, 2008
Categories: Derek Jones, FOOTBALL, Two Minute Warning . Author: Derek Jones . Comments: 4 Comments