Bear with me through our latest voyage. Thanks to the Phils’ World Series loss, I’m in a bit of an ornery mood these days. My email box and Facebook account has been swamped with arrogant and cocksure emails from Yankee fans celebrating title 27. And most of them I can’t even put in print.

On Thursday, I estimated I had roughly five congratulations in me towards Yankees fans. I work around them all day, teach them, and call some of them friend. Nonetheless, I’m rationing out the kudos like it’s a small supply of Ramen noodles on a deserted island. In fact, I only dished out two. Somehow, I don’t think the other three are leaving my mouth anytime soon.

One of the reasons for my anger is the multi-layered facade of Yankee fans and fans of the Dallas Cowboys. Individuals use their team preferences as a bully pulpit to make themselves feel better about their otherwise somewhat questionable lives. Can you blame them, though? As John Madden once said, winning is a great deodorant. Fans bathe in it.

Tired of waiting around for the local team to win or to spite their dad or to look cool for the girls in high school, we have become a nation of front runners. If you read TMW from two weeks ago, you know that I’ve crafted a plan to eliminate such nonsense.

In honour of the Eagles playing the Cowboys this weekend, it’s time to call into question perhaps the biggest set of frontrunning fans that don’t sport the interlocking NY on top of their heads.

I’m willing to bet most Cowboy fans under the age of 30 can’t answer 60 per cent of these questions accurately without checking out Wikipedia.

Without further ado, let’s fire up a sample of the first ever TMW Fan Certification Test:

1 . Which of these future NFL head coaches never played for the Dallas Cowboys?

A. Mike Ditka
B. Dan Reeves
C. John Madden

2. What player said that Terry Bradshaw could not spell cat if you spotted him the c and the t?

A. Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson
B. Larry Cole
C. Mike Hegman
D. Dixon Edwards

3. How many times has Dallas appeared in the Super Bowl?

A. 5
B. 6
C. 7
D. 8

4. The only player in NFL history to win a Super Bowl MVP as a member of the losing team is:

A. Bob Lilly
B. Mel Renfro
C. Darren Woodson
D. Chuck Howley

5. Dallas lost three straight NFC title games during the 1980-82 seasons. Who was the starting quarterback for the Cowboys in all three?

A. Steve Pelluer
B. Gary Hogeboom
C. Danny White
D. Roger Staubach

6. The first time the Cowboys reached the playoffs in the Jimmy Johnson era was 1991. Who started the team’s playoff game at Chicago for the injured Troy Aikman?

A. Babe Laufenberg
B. Steve Walsh
C. Steve Beuerlein
D. Danny White

7. Who scored the go-ahead touchdown in the famous Ice Bowl?

A. Jim Taylor
B. Max McGee
C. Bob Hayes
D. Bart Starr

8. Dallas acquired what Pro Bowl defensive end from the San Francisco 49ers prior to the start of the ’92 season?

A. Fred Dean
B. Pierce Holt
C. Charles Haley
D. Tim Harris

9. In Super Bowl XII, Robert Newhouse fired a touchdown pass on a halfback option to which receiver:

A. Butch Johnson
B. Drew Pearson
C. Golden Richards
D. Alvin Harper

10. On its way to Super Bowl X against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dallas defeated Minnesota in the divisional round. Which player caught a Hail Mary for the go-ahead touchdown?

A. Drew Pearson
B. Tony Dorsett
C. Butch Johnson
D. Preston Pearson

See answers at bottom of column.

The Culverhouse Index

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Detroit Lions, 1-6 (8): Detroit showed some limited promise this season, but then the Rams came into town and showed otherwise. A bad loss for the Lions.

2. St. Louis Rams, 1-7 (1): They were holding steady at the top spot until they finally came up with a win.

3. Kansas City Chiefs, 1-6 (4): Can’t the Chiefs stay on bye?

4. Washington Redskins, 2-5 (3): Can’t the Redskins stay on bye?

5. Tennessee Titans, 1-6 (2): Finally, there is life. I’m not sure Vince Young is the answer at quarterback, but with Chris Johnson running the ball it doesn’t matter at the moment.

6. Oakland Raiders, 2-5 (6): At least they played well against the Chargers this season.

7. Cleveland Browns, 1-7 (5): They’ve scored six points or fewer in five of eight games this season.

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 0-7 (7): First win? Maybe December 6 at Carolina.

9. Buffalo Bills, 3-5 (9): Terrell Owens is on pace for 46 catches this season. Ouch.

10. Carolina Panthers, 3-4 (10): Incredibly, the Panthers are one win away from being 4-4. The league is a bit down in ’09.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Eight

1. The Owen Daniels injury is going to slow the Texan passing game: Destined for a Pro Bowl this season, Daniels went down with a season-ending torn ACL injury. The timing could not be worse for the Texans. Quarterback Matt Schaub is playing the best football of his career while the team plays a huge game against the Colts on Sunday.

2. Perhaps the Giant defense just isn’t that good: Over their last three games, the Giants have surrendered 112 points, allowing 37 points per game over the same stretch. That’s what happens when C.C. Brown is covering people.

3. Percy Harvin is secretly one of the NFL’s most valuable players in 2009: Anytime the Vikings are reeling this season, Harvin finds a way to dig them out of trouble. The rookie from Florida leads the league in yards per touch at 19.8.

4. DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart pack a mean punch, as long as Jake Delhomme isn’t killing them: If Delhomme doesn’t turn the ball over, it makes things far easier for Williams and Stewart. Over the last three weeks, the Panthers have rushed for at least 250 yards twice.

5. The Jets = overrated: The bandwagon started to fill up after the Week Two win over New England. However, the Jets’ fourth loss in the last fifth games has made the bandwagon quite a bit lighter. New York’s special teams turned Ted Ginn into a combination of Dante Hall and Devin Hester. How else do you explain the Dolphins scoring 30 points despite gaining just 104 yards?

6. Steve Slaton is killing your Fantasy team one week at a time: Benched by Texan head coach Gary Kubiak last week in Buffalo, Slaton appears to be in great danger of losing playing time to backup Ryan Moats. Slaton has lost five fumbles and is averaging 3.1 yards per carry. Sounds like a benching to me.

7. Anquan Boldin may never actually get his money: Boldin did not pose as a model teammate over the past year in part due to a lack of financial security. Now, Arizona’s star receiver has been unable to stay healthy for much of the season. After being hounded by a hamstring ailment, he is now battling ankle problems.

8. Part 1 of Operation 2006 has begun: Whenever you have a quarterback on the wrong side of 30, it is not a good thing in the long run. Arizona and Tennessee got away with it 2008. At least for Tennessee, the story turned differently this season as Vince Young finally made his way into the starting lineup. With the Cards in first, Kurt Warner is not in danger in Arizona…as long as he stops having those five-interception performances.

9. Don’t look now, but outside of Minnesota and New Orleans the NFC is a mess: Eliminate Detroit, St. Louis and Tampa Bay. What else do we know about the NFC? Everyone else hovers between two and five wins. Looks like December should be a mess for tiebreakers.

10. Bob Sanders is out for the year…adjust your Fantasy lineups accordingly: Surprise, surprise. Sanders is out for the year with a torn bicep. Further compounding matters is a season-ending injury to Marlin Jackson, who hurt himself in practice earlier this week. When backs get into the Indy secondary (which Frank Gore did last week), look out.

Week Eight BPITW Poll

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Adrian Peterson (1): It seems like the Vikings run at least 50 plays per game inside of the 10 yard line, making it all the more easier for Peterson to score.

2. Peyton Manning (2): Joseph Addai had more touchdown passes than Manning last week.

3. Drew Brees (3): He doesn’t have many tough matchups left on the schedule, but a big battle versus New England in the Superdome looms in a few weeks.

4. Chris Johnson (NR): Watch this video. Now. Do it.

5. Cedric Benson (4): The Ravens will keep Benson under 100 yards rushing on Sunday. Take it to the bank.

6. Ronnie Brown (5): He will a key figure in Sunday’s matchup against New England.

7. Ray Rice (6): The Bengal defense should be a bit softer this time around without Antwan Odom.

8. Tom Brady (10): His productivity this week will be tied to his defense’s ability to get the Dolphins off the field.

9. Andre Johnson (5): The Colts have only allowed three touchdown passes thus far. Johnson could have a good day though against an injury-depleted secondary.

10. Maurice Jones-Drew (7): Too bad he was outdone by Johnson…Chris and Gus.

Video of the Week

It’s one thing to lose a World Series. Losing a World Series to the Yankees hits another stratosphere of misery. It’s time to drown my sorrows in a sad song…and football.

Answers to Cowboys quiz: 1. c. 2. a. 3. d. 4. d. 5. c. 6. c. 7. d. 8. c. 9. c. 10. a.

If you’ve answered between eight and 10 correctly, you’re in great shape and more than likely over 30 years old.

Don’t worry, Cowboy fans. Your fans aren’t the only ones with frauds placed within…and yes, I’m looking at you, Steeler Nation.

As we stand days away from a potential Phillies-Yankees World Series and the biggest sports fan battle to hit the east coast in decades, it is time to issue a test.

I’m declaring open season on all fraudulent fans — and, as they say on the streets, let’s not get it twisted. I love my Phillie fan brethren, but there are numerous frauds infiltrating Phillies-fandom.

In the aftermath of Philly’s World Series win in 2008, Citizens Bank Park became a party zone. Parking lots, which already featured copious amounts of tailgaters, turned into a full-fledged party on a nightly basis, typically filled with 20-somethings and seemingly underage college students getting their crack at partying up.

Games of beer pong and cornhole ran rampant throughout the stadium area; and yes, even people doing whip-its, which is the inhalation of nitrous fumes from a balloon. Not sure who these fans are? You’ll get a look at them in the Video of the Week down below.

Following Philadelphia’s 10-4 win Wednesday night over the Dodgers to clinch the National League pennant for the second straight year, I made my way through the traffic at Citizens Bank Park to see fans celebrating, vendors selling offensive T-shirts about New York and the usual fare one comes to expect with a big win.

Yet, those fans were smashing beer bottles and yelling things that I don’t even feel comfortable saying to my friends. These are the same people who will readily get smashed before each and every remaining Phillie game and subsequently end up face down on the pavement after being arrested by Philadelphia’s finest. It’s the fake ones that ruin it sometimes for the real ones.

In my opinion, some of this behaviour stems from a self-esteem issue. Everyone wants to be associated with a winner. No one wants to go to school or hang out with friends and be laughed at because they are wearing a Kansas City Royals or Detroit Lions cap.

The lazy way out is the easy way out. Having Kobe Bryant or Peyton Manning do your bidding on the field is easier than rooting for Joe Johnson or David Garrard.

However, I’d like to create a breed and society of fan to put a stop to such chicanery. Simply stated, we need fan permits. The time to start calling out the phony fan is here.

In my own Utopia, in order to attend any game, fans must be certified to do so by scoring 80 per cent on a questionnaire about the team’s history. (Think of that classic scene from Diner when Steve Guttenberg’s character makes his girlfriend pass a quiz about the Baltimore Colts before he’ll marry her.)

My first fan base under attack is the Dallas Cowboys. Thanks to its storied and infamous history, few fan bases feature as many rabid frontrunners as this rambunctious gang. Amazingly though, most of its 20-something fans believe the franchise began in 1992.

Enough is enough. Next week, TMW will unveil the first ever Fan Certification Test. Cowboy fans, get ready.

The Culverhouse Index

A tribute to the NFL’s bottom feeders…

1. St. Louis Rams (0-6): They put together a much better effort versus Jacksonville, but are still wildly undermanned.

2. Tennessee Titans (0-6): How awful are the Titans? They put forth such a dreadful performance that Jeff Fisher wore a Peyton Manning jersey at a charity event.

3. Washington Redskins (2-4): When your new playcaller was last seen calling numbers for Bingo, that’s a major negative.

4. Kansas City Chiefs (1-5): They have a very slow secondary, but are willing to fight for Todd Haley.

5. Cleveland Browns (1-5): Ben Roethlisberger still hasn’t been touched.

6. Oakland Raiders (2-4): Someone nudged JaMarcus Russell and the Raiders. Although, they got a big assist from the Eagles (more on that later).

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-6): Carolina took the ball out of Jake Delhomme’s hand during the game’s biggest drive and thus, took away Tampa’s chance to win.

8. Detroit Lions (1-5): The Lions’ 19th straight loss in Green Bay included an appearance by Drew Stanton.

9. Buffalo Bills (2-4): The Dick Jauron era is dragged out at least another week.

10. Carolina Panthers (2-3): Incredibly, the Panthers are one win away from being .500. Playing other bad teams does the schedule good.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Six

1. The Tennessee Titans are far worse than anyone ever imagined: New England humiliated the Titans 59-0 last Sunday. NFL teams should never lose that badly. Even the 0-16 Lions didn’t lose that badly. Ironically, Detroit’s largest margin of defeat was a 37-point loss to Tennessee on Thanksgiving Day. The pass defense is the most alarming issue in the Music City. Tom Brady threw six touchdown passes and an NFL record five in the second quarter. Overall, opposing quarterbacks have a composite passer rating of 117.5. Unacceptable.

2. Don’t throw dirt on Laurence Maroney’s career quite yet: As a part of the Titans’ burial last Sunday, Maroney ran 16 times for 123 yards. The bigger news may be the injury to Sammy Morris, which may keep him sidelined for several weeks. Adjust your Fantasy rosters accordingly.

3. The Eagles are their own worst enemy: Facing one of the worst rush defenses in the league, Andy Reid dialed up 52 dropbacks and just 14 rushing attempts in a 13-9 loss. Already sporting a creaky offensive line, Donovan McNabb was sacked six times. Doesn’t this ring a bell? Last year versus another porous team, the Cincinnati Bengals, Philly attempted 58 passes to just 18 runs in a tie with the Bungles.

4. You probably don’t know that the third-ranked player in Fantasy football is from Rutgers: Believe it or not, after another strong performance, Ray Rice is third in standard Fantasy scoring, trailing Adrian Peterson and Maurice Jones-Drew.

5. Green Bay does not specialize in pass protection: Despite the Pack shutting out the Lions on Sunday, Aaron Rodgers is still taking a beating. He was sacked five more times. The Packers have allowed an NFL-worst 25 sacks.

6. Speaking of which, protecting your quarterback goes a long way: The Colts, Falcons, Giants and Saints rank one through four, respectively, at protecting the quarterback. Their combined record is 19-2.

7. The Saints are the best team in football that doesn’t have Peyton Manning: While the Saints are 5-0, I’m not a believer. The Colts have the best player in the NFL and a decent defense, which to me, makes them the most formidable at the moment.

8. Anquan Boldin is snake-bitten or injury-prone. Take your pick: Boldin has played all 16 games only twice in his seven-year career. He has been banged up early and often in ’09 and it’s showing. He owns just one touchdown reception this season.

9. Someone needs to tell the NFL Network that games with good fourth quarters did not come about in 2000: The NFL Network trotted out a new series called “Greatest 4th Quarters.” Unfortunately, they keep trotting out games from this decade. It’s okay to use the ’80s and ’90s, gang.

10.  Eddie Royal has plenty of energy: The Denver receiver had two special teams returns for touchdowns. What prompted the sudden burst? I’m guessing his new energy bars.

Week Seven BPITW Poll

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Adrian Peterson (1): He made mincemeat out of the Raven defense.

2. Peyton Manning (2): I have a feeling we’ll see Jim Sorgi at some point this week versus the Rams.

3. Drew Brees (6): He exposed the Giants’ number one ranked defense with his usual precision passing.

4. Ronnie Brown (3): The Dolphins line up against the Saints. How often do you think we’ll see the Wildcat to keep New Orleans off the field?

5. Andre Johnson (5): Johnson posted his second straight 100-yard effort last week in Cincy.

6. Ray Rice (NR): He averages six yards per carry and nearly stopped Minnesota’s hot start.

7. Maurice Jones-Drew (7): MJD is the only enjoyable thing about Jaguar football in 2009.

8. Tom Brady (NR): Welcome back, Tom.

9. Reggie Wayne (4): Should be in line for a touchdown versus the Rams in Week Seven.

10. Ben Roethlisberger (10): Big Ben is the NFL’s leader in passing yards through six weeks.

Video of the Week

As mentioned at the jump, Phillie fans these days are a bit on the out of control side. Check out this video which features a fan getting hit with fireworks and another having bottles thrown at him. So much for keeping these fans from climbing on things.

One of my favourite pastimes is watching bad movies. If it’s on cable and has one star, I’m in; Killer Clowns from Outer Space? Check. Where do I sign? Penitentiary II featuring Ghostbusters star Ernie Hudson? Probably watched it 15 times. In fact, more that one later…   

Most terrible movies work for me except for Hulk Hogan’s abomination, No Holds Barred, released in 1989. Seriously, few things were as menacing as watching Hogan’s movie nemesis, Zeus. The bald head with a Z carved on the side of the temple augmented by crossed eyes was overwhelming for me as a nine-year-old. Then, Vince McMahon had the audacity to add him as a regular on WWE programming. Zeus was such ugly guy that I swore off the WWE for seven months until he left.

Unfortunately, we’re getting to that point with numerous teams around the NFL. We just need to walk away. After one of the worst slates of 1 p.m. EST games in league history, it’s obvious that the number of bad teams is staggering. Let’s examine some of the weekend’s lowlights.

Carolina 20, Washington 17

With Washington leading 7-0 in the second quarter and backed up at its own three, Jason Campbell hands off wide to Clinton Portis, who promptly gets swallowed up in the endzone for a safety. Running wide on second and eight from your own three, are we? For an encore, the Redskins blew a 17-2 lead and lost 20-17 to the previously winless Panthers.

By the way, Washington’s game Sunday versus Kansas City marks the sixth straight week the Redskins will play a winless team.

NY Giants 44, Oakland 7

JaMarcus Russell fumbled three times, adding to his resume for perhaps one of the worst seasons ever played by an NFL quarterback. He is having the reverse Tom Brady/Dan Marino season. Just when you think he can’t regress as a player, he proves us wrong. Even Giant back-up quarterback David Carr got in on the fun by rushing for a 12-yard touchdown.

Of course, the proverbial cherry on top for the Raiders is the assault charge looming over the head of Oakland coach Tom Cable for allegedly breaking the jaw of an assistant. 

Cleveland 6, Buffalo 3

Almost seemingly upset at the notion of playing an exciting game a year ago in Buffalo, the Browns and Bills offered one of the decade’s biggest stink bombs. Not to be outdone by its 8-0 win over Buffalo in 2007, Cleveland defeated Buffalo last Sunday without scoring a touchdown.

When the victorious quarterback posted a 2-for-17 performance and a 15.1 quarterback rating, something is terribly wrong.

Dallas 26, Kansas City 20 (OT)

Look, I like Miles Austin, but he’s not that good. Austin ran up the best receiving day in Cowboy history during Dallas’ 26-20 win in overtime. The Chiefs redefined bad tackling by missing two tackles on each of Austin’s two touchdown catches. Yet another dreadful defensive effort from KC when it actually mattered.

In other news, the Chiefs are quietly on one of the worst runs in NFL history. According to the good folks at profootballreference.com, they have lost 28 of their last 30 games since they were 4-3 in 2007, which almost seems unfathomable.

Minnesota 38, St. Louis 10

Not to be outdone by Kansas City for worst team in Missouri, St. Louis was dismantled by four touchdowns by Minnesota. The winless Rams’ average margin of defeat is 22 points per game. As AC/DC would say, the Rams are a “runaway train, running right off the track.”

Sadly, that’s only the beginning. Tampa Bay, Tennessee and Jacksonville also got bombed by double digit scores. Seemingly, the NFL has become a league of good teams bludgeoning bad teams. The NFC East serves as living proof of the league’s imbalance.

Philadelphia’s three wins have come against Carolina, Kansas City and Tampa Bay, who have combined for one win. Meanwhile, division rival New York Gianta are 5-0, having crushed Oakland, Kansas City and Tampa Bay in their last three outings.

Dallas’ Tony Romo owns six touchdown passes this season. Five of those came against the winless Chiefs and Bucs.

Translation: we’re living in a golden age for terrible teams. Instead of shying away from the ugliness of the NFL like I did with Zeus years ago, I’m not going to make the same mistake twice. I’m going to embrace these teams as if they are collectively the newest installment of the Penitentiary series. TMW will debut The Culverhouse Index*, a power poll of the league’s worst teams. Without further ado, here we go.

1. St. Louis (0-5): Making last year’s Lions look like the ’76 Raiders.

2. Kansas City (0-5): Man for man, barely better than St. Louis. Yet, they have the look of a college team at times.

3. Oakland (1-4): When is someone in this organization going to understand that Russell is not the quarterback of the future? Is a 2-14 season going to be enough?

4. Cleveland (1-4): The Browns should give Sunday’s win back. This team is scoring a hearty 11 points per game and yet, somehow, that isn’t last in the league.

5. Tampa Bay (0-5): This team features a newbie at quarterback in Josh Johnson and one of the league’s worst pass defenses.

6. Buffalo (1-4): The Bills should receive two losses for losing to the Browns at home without allowing a touchdown.

7. Detroit (1-4): The Lions are still not very good, but they will at least fight teams now.

8. Washington (2-3): Every game the Redskins play should end at 17-14. Football to sleep by.

9. Carolina (1-3): The Panthers were fixing to get blown out at home and drop to 0-4. However, the Redskins gave them some much needed help.

10. Tennessee (0-5): Not only did the Titans lose their best defensive player (Albert Haynesworth), but they also lost their defensive co-ordinator Jim Schwartz and replaced him with Chuck Cecil, who had never been a defensive co-ordinator before. Subsequently, they can’t get a pass rush and rank 31st in the league against the pass.

*The poll’s name honours former Tampa Bay Buccaneer owner, the late Hugh Culverhouse, who ran one of the worst teams in league history, the winless ’76 Bucs.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Five

1. Learn from the new Culverhouse Index: You are running a big risk on your Fantasy rosters by using players from the aforementioned poll. Granted, Chris Johnson and Steven Jackson are amongst the backs that play for some of these dreadful teams. However, what good are these guys if their team is down by 20 every week?

2. Tom Brady isn’t Tom Brady yet: Brady’s lifetime record versus Denver fell to 1-6, but perhaps the most alarming items from Sunday’s game were two missed pass plays for New England. Brady missed a touchdown pass to Randy Moss and then late in the fourth quarter missed on a seam pattern to Wes Welker that could have sprung him to go the distance. Brady’s timing is off considerably.

3. The contract year is a big motivator: Cedric Benson busted through the Raven defense for 120 yards and a score. He is the first running back to rush for 100 yards against Baltimore in three years. Benson just happens to be in a contract year. All of a sudden, he is a respectable running back. Hmm…

4. The Eagles’ regular season schedule begins on October 26: Philly has only played one quality opponent (New Orleans). The first somewhat respectable opponent for the Eagles will be Washington on the road on Monday, October 26.

5. Denver is for real…we think: Kyle Orton, Brandon Marshall and Knowshon Moreno helped carry Denver to victory over New England in overtime. Orton is a steady game-manager thus far, Marshall is slowly emerging yet again and Moreno is getting his sea legs in his rookie year.

6. Keep your eye on Chad Henne: Everyone is raving about Henne’s performance Monday night. He fits the Bill Parcells criteria, which includes being a four-year starter in college. Perhaps Henne’s biggest asset is the Wildcat which is slicing and dicing rush defenses again, making it all the more easier for him to throw over the top of defenses.

7. Teams are determined to let Minnesota QB No. 4 beat them: Outside of playing Green Bay, the Vikings are another team that has played a lightweight schedule. With tough run matchups upcoming versus Baltimore and Pittsburgh, Minnesota QB No. 4 will be forced to use his aging yet still effective arm to beat them. Thus far, he has been able to do it, but it remains to be seen whether he can make it happen versus teams that will punch back.

8. Dre Bly made a foolish mistake: After intercepting Atlanta’s Matt Ryan, Bly went all Deion Sanders and started celebrating about 60 yards before scoring. Roddy White stripped Bly of the ball soon after, leading to the season’s most embarrassing play to date.

9. The Eagles are loaded: Regardless of the competition, the Eagles are going to score points this season. Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson are flyers on the outside; Brent Celek is in store for a career year; and LeSean McCoy looks like a budding mini-Brian Westbrook. Even with Donovan McNabb and Westbrook aging, it looks it will be sunny in Philadelphia for quite some time. Yes, I know. It was a lame reference to the television show.

10. Keep your eye on McNabb and Eli Manning: McNabb returned from a rib injury, while Manning managed his plantar fasciitis. However, both teams were able to ease the quarterbacks into action versus two league doormats. As the season wears on, those injuries could be a problem. Adjust your Fantasy rosters accordingly.

Week Six BPITW Poll

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Adrian Peterson (1): Through five games, AP has seven touchdowns and is well on pace to top his career best of 12.

2. Peyton Manning (2): Easily the NFL’s MVP to date, playing the finest football of his career.

3. Ronnie Brown (7): This is not the Dolphins of 2008, but they are a scrappy bunch, led by Captain Wildcat himself.

4. Reggie Wayne (5): Attached at the hip with Manning, Wayne is one of Fantasy football’s best through the first quarter of the season.

5. Andre Johnson (8): He steamrolled Cardinal defenders a week ago; too bad his team can’t finish drives from the one yard line.

6. Drew Brees (3): The more Brees throws, the more it will help your Fantasy team. The less Brees throws, the more it will help the Saints go deep into the playoffs.

7. Maurice Jones-Drew (4): Don’t make this man angry, Jacksonville. He’s one of your few good players.

8. Cedric Benson (NR): I’m stunned he is on this list.

9. Steve “NYG” Smith (10): The other Steve Smith is 49th in standard Fantasy scoring, while this Smith is Eli’s go-to guy.

10. Ben Roethlisberger (9): Hopefully he stays awake against Cleveland. The Browns tend to be boring to play against.

Link of the Week

As mentioned earlier, Penitentiary II is a brilliantly awful film, but few things are as awesome as blaxploitation films. A new movie called Black Dynamite debuts this weekend and the trailer is pure gold.

Following Week Two, I turned on the NFL Network to see numerous analysts, including Brian Billick, lauding the impressive state of quarterbacking around the league. After two weeks, the composite quarterback rating proved to be 83.9, which at the time was an all-time best for the position.

With so many awful teams around the league, I contend that the opposite is true. I don’t believe that the NFL is in this great state of quarterbacking. In fact, we’re actually in worse shape than 10 years ago. For a team-by-team comparison, let’s go back to 1999 to see just how far we’ve advanced or fallen since the year Kurt Warner came on the scene.

NFC East

New York Giants

1999: Kent Graham
2009: Eli Manning

Advantage: Manning. Graham split time with Kerry Collins but did little with a 7-9 Giants squad. He threw nine touchdown passes and nine interceptions in nine starts. How many years did Graham play in the league? You guessed it, nine. Meanwhile, Manning’s passer rating (104.0) trumps the measly 74.6 posted by Graham.

Philadelphia Eagles

1999: Donovan McNabb
2009: Donovan McNabb

Advantage: ’09 McNabb. While young McNabb did not suffer injuries at the seemingly prodigious rate of current day Donny Mac, the ’09 Eagles will rise and fall with the fortunes of its Pro Bowl quarterback.

Dallas Cowboys

1999: Troy Aikman
2009: Tony Romo

Advantage: Aikman. Even though he was playing his second to last season, Aikman got the Cowboys into the playoffs (albeit at 8-8), while Romo continues to disappoint in Dallas. Aikman did not put together a great statistical season, but fired 17 touchdown passes versus 12 interceptions. Meanwhile, Romo is too busy throwing at all-pro corners 16 times during games (see below).

Washington Redskins

1999: Brad Johnson
2009: Jason Campbell

Advantage: Johnson. He made the Pro Bowl in ’99 and led Washington to the playoffs where it won a game and lost by a point in Tampa during the NFC Divisional playoffs. Campbell can only dream of such a season at this point.

NFC North

Chicago Bears

1999: Shane Matthews
2009: Jay Cutler

Advantage: Cutler. Period.

Detroit Lions

1999: Charlie Batch
2009: Matthew Stafford

Advantage: Batch. Just because you were selected number one overall, doesn’t make you a better quarterback instantly. Batch got the Lions into the playoffs with some assistance from Gus Frerotte. Such a feat is a herculean effort, especially when considering Detroit lost its final four games and still made the playoffs.

Green Bay Packers

1999: Brett Favre
2009: Aaron Rodgers

Advantage: Favre. While he was on the first downside run, posted a poor 74.7 passer rating and threw 23 interceptions, he was still Brett Favre, just two seasons removed from winning three straight MVP awards. Rodgers is still building his resume and has been spotty in close games.

Minnesota Vikings

1999: Jeff George
2009: Brett Favre

Advantage: Favre. Coming off the 15-1 season in ’98, Randall Cunningham struggled to return to ’98 form and the Vikes switched to George. He posted 23 touchdowns as the team made a run to the playoffs. Again though, Favre’s mere presence on the Vikings gives Minny a different edge.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons

1999: Chris Chandler
2009: Matt Ryan

Advantage: Ryan. Chandler led the Falcons to the Super Bowl a season earlier, but was a career journeyman otherwise.

Carolina Panthers

1999: Steve Beuerlein
2009: Jake Delhomme

Advantage: Beuerlein. The former backup to Aikman in Dallas made the Pro Bowl in ’99 after throwing 36 touchdowns. Delhomme has crafted poor decision making into an art form in ’09.

New Orleans Saints

1999: Billy Joe Tolliver
2009: Drew Brees

Advantage: Brees. You don’t need an explanation other than never trust a quarterback with three names.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

1999: Shaun King
2009: Josh Johnson

Advantage: King. As poorly as he played at times, King was a botched officiating call away from quarterbacking a team to the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Johnson is as green as they come.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals

1999: Jake Plummer
2009: Kurt Warner

Advantage: Warner. An easy victory for Warner. After putting the Cardinals in the playoffs in ’98, Plummer put the Cards in the tank. He threw 24 interceptions and just nine touchdown passes. His QB rating? How does 50.8 sound? Good? Not so good?

Seattle Seahawks

1999: Jon Kitna
2009: Seneca Wallace

Advantage: Kitna. The current caddy of Romo got the Seahawks into the playoffs while Wallace hasn’t done much to distinguish himself. By the way, Wallace is sixth in the league in completion percentage. Scary.

St. Louis Rams

1999: Kurt Warner
2009: Marc Bulger

Advantage: Warner. Bulger can’t stay healthy while Warner put himself on the map during ’99 by winning regular season MVP and Super Bowl MVP honours.

San Francisco 49ers

1999: Jeff Garcia
2009: Shaun Hill

Advantage: Hill. Steve Young got knocked into retirement by Aeneas Williams early in 1999. Garcia wasn’t Garcia yet. Hill isn’t great by any means, but will not cost his team the game.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills

1999: Doug Flutie
2009: Trent Edwards

Advantage: Flutie. Edwards may never sniff the playoffs at this rate, which is what Flutie did…well, until the great Wade Phillips had other ideas.

Miami Dolphins

1999: Dan Marino
2009: Chad Henne

Advantage: Marino. I’d rather have Marino at age 80 than Henne at this moment.

New England Patriots

1999: Drew Bledsoe
2009: Tom Brady

Advantage: Brady. Bledsoe was a few years removed from a Super Bowl appearance, but entering the downside of his career. Brady, well, is Brady.

New York Jets

1999: Ray Lucas
2009: Mark Sanchez

Advantage: Lucas. Again, we can’t project ahead towards what someone is going to become. Lucas jumped into a tough spot because of an injury to Vinny Testaverde and nearly got the Jets to the playoffs. Sanchez still has to prove himself.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens

1999: Tony Banks
2009: Joe Flacco

Advantage: Flacco. The second-year Delaware Blue Hen has already played in an AFC title game while Banks was eventually benched for Trent Dilfer the following year when Baltimore won the Super Bowl.

Cleveland Browns

1999: Tim Couch
2009: Derek Anderson

Advantage: Couch. Look at the numbers. Couch, while awful, actually produced more than Anderson. Outside of his one big year in 2007, Anderson has been dreadful.

Cincinnati Bengals

1999: Jeff Blake
2009: Carson Palmer

Advantage: Palmer. Blake could cause thunderstorms with his deep passes, but Palmer has the ability to make the Bengals respectable. Palmer is trying to become the first Bengal quarterback since Boomer Esiason to lead them to multiple playoff appearances (’88, ’90).

Pittsburgh Steelers

1999: Kordell Stewart
2009: Ben Roethlisberger

Advantage: Big Ben. Kordell’s best asset was as a multiple purpose player in the mid-’90s. Ben owns two rings.

AFC South

Houston Texans

1999: N/A
2009: Matt Schaub

Indianapolis Colts

1999: Peyton Manning
2009: Peyton Manning

Advantage: 2009 Manning. Besides McNabb, he’s the only quarterback to still be the head guy 10 years later. While ’99 Manning wasn’t shabby, this year he’s on a record setting pace once more.

Jacksonville Jaguars

1999: Mark Brunell
2009: David Garrard

Advantage: Brunell. He’s the greatest quarterback in Jaguar history, leading them to the playoffs four consecutive seasons from 1996 to 1999. Garrard still needs to put together two good seasons in a row and get the Jags back to the postseason.

Tennessee Titans

1999: Steve McNair
2009: Kerry Collins

Advantage: McNair. Both appeared in Super Bowls, but the late McNair was the heart and soul of the Titans, grabbing co-MVP honours with Peyton Manning in 2003.

AFC West

Denver Broncos

1999: Brian Griese
2009: Kyle Orton

Advantage: Griese. He was the first man in during the post-John Elway era. Griese led the NFL in QB rating 2000 while getting the Broncos to the playoffs after a poor ’99 campaign. While he wins game rather consistently, Orton has never wowed anyone and laboured to beat out Rex Grossman in Chicago.

Kansas City Chiefs

1999: Elvis Grbac
2009: Matt Cassel

Advantage: Grbac. Cassel has only started 18 games during his career. Grbac was a pretty serviceable signal caller for the Chiefs, getting them to the playoffs in 1997.

Oakland Raiders

1999: Rich Gannon
2009: JaMarcus Russell

Advantage: Gannon. A Pro Bowler in ’99, Gannon would embark on a three-year run after that season that included two AFC title game appearances, a trip to the Super Bowl and losing some playoff game in Foxborough, Massachusetts. Russell is just plain awful.

San Diego Chargers

1999: Jim Harbaugh
2009: Phil Rivers

Advantage: Rivers. The ’99 Chargers were on the way to winning the LaDainian Tomlinson sweepstakes in 2001. Meanwhile, Rivers directs one of the best offenses in the AFC.

Synopsis: 1999 wins 17-14. While ’99 was a Brady-free zone, it was bursting with eventual or previous MVP winners (Favre, Gannon, Marino, McNair, Peyton Manning, Warner). During 2009, it’s more top heavy perhaps than ’99, but the difference between the haves and have nots this year is downright frightening.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Four

1. Don’t throw at Champ Bailey 16 times in a game when armed with average receivers: Romo took it upon himself to throw at Bailey, one of the NFL’s best corners, on 16 occasions. Bailey intercepted him once near the goal line and broke up two plays in the endzone on the game’s decisive drive.

2. The Cowboys miss Terrell Owens: Dallas wide receivers have not scored a touchdown since Week One in Tampa. Also, Romo threw twice to Sam Hurd on goal to go plays from the two in the fourth quarter last Sunday. Enough said.

3. Owens misses the Cowboys: Owens owns just one touchdown this season and seems ready to snap at any moment. Who can blame him though? Trent Edwards makes Romo look like Johnny Unitas.

4. Say what you want about Aaron Rodgers, but his offensive line stinks: Rodgers threw for 384 yards, but was wearing Jared Allen and the Viking defense by game’s end.

5. Peyton Manning is the MVP: Manning is arguably playing the best football of his career and is on pace to shatter Dan Marino’s record for most yards in a season (5,084).

6. There are more bad teams than a season ago: Detroit, Kansas City and St. Louis were in a class by themselves last year, but in ’09 they have company as league bottom feeders. Oakland has somehow regressed further thanks to JaMarcus Russell; while Tampa Bay and Buffalo are embarrassing to watch. Just think — I didn’t include the 0-4 Titans or 0-3 Panthers in the discussion.

7. The finger pointing and excuse making is never going away in San Diego during the A.J. Smith regime: Surprise, surprise. There is controversy in San Diego. General Manager Smith called the team soft. Mr. Smith has a point. They are extremely talented, but fatally flawed. This group will never get to the Super Bowl.

8. I’m not saying you should cut LaDainian Tomlinson, but it’s over: Speaking of the Chargers, LT can’t cut it anymore. It’s sad to say but he reminds me of the 2000s version of Emmitt Smith.

9. I’m saying you should cut JaMarcus Russell and it is over: Jeff Garcia recently questioned the work ethic of Russell, who is sporting a quarterback rating of 42.4. Russell continuously wears a wool ski cap on the sidelines. Maybe he should switch hats and cool off that brain of his.

10. Minnesota QB No. 4 still has it: The Packer defense set its sights on slowing Adrian Peterson and got beaten repeatedly by Minnesota QB No. 4. It didn’t hurt matters that he got up to seven seconds in the pocket on some plays to throw.

Week Five BPITW Poll

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Adrian Peterson (1) – It was Minnesota QB No. 4, not AP, who delivered the daggers to Green Bay on Sunday night.

2. Peyton Manning (6) – For the first time in his storied career, Manning has opened the season with four consecutive 300-yard days.

3. Drew Brees (2) – Do you hear the panic in the streets? Two straight games without a touchdown pass? Folks, he can’t play Detroit every week.

4. Maurice Jones-Drew (4) – Despite a less than rousing stat line of 14 yards rushing, MJD still scratched out six.

5. Reggie Wayne (7) – He is probably licking his chops for the upcoming Indy/Titans tilt.

6. Frank Gore (8) – I moved him up because I refuse to put a back that runs out of the wildcat ahead him.

7. Ronnie Brown (NR) – No offense, Ronnie, but the expiration date on this gimmick offense is coming soon. Good season so far though!

8. Andre Johnson (8) – The NFL schedule maker wasn’t that kind to Johnson. He has faced Darrelle Revis, Cortland Finnegan and Nnamdi Asomugha thus far. He throttled Tennessee, but has struggled otherwise.

9. Ben Roethlisberger (NR) – When he is not busy doing bits with Chris Jericho and the Big Show on Monday Night Raw, Big Ben is a pretty fair quarterback.

10. Steve “NYG” Smith (NR) – Yeah, I can’t believe he’s here either.

Link of the Week

I enjoy Facebook. However, the litany of applications for the site is becoming borderline absurd. From Farmville to YoVille to Mafia Wars, please just make it stop. I’m not interested in being kidnapped, sending you a blender, or starting my own farm. Then, of course, there is the phenomenon of old high school acquaintances friending you when they did not want to be within the same 20-mile radius during your four years together in school. Unfortunately though, that is a whole other post. This gentleman does a fair job of explaining my feelings.

In case you were wondering, this young fellow samples Heart’s “Alone.” Not familiar? I thought you’d never ask… (cheesy ’80s hair warning in effect).

While speaking with fellow football fan and RotoRob writer Andy Goldstein, we both decided that the NFL is in need of change. No, we don’t mean changing rules that give even more advantages to quarterbacks and receivers. Yes, Bill Polian, I’m pointing at you. In this new age of economic suffering and blackouts, it’s time we start to pull the proverbial plug on franchises and start moving them.

Candidates, you ask? Carolina, Jacksonville, San Diego, Tampa Bay and Seattle. Those franchises make the list because they seem to possess borderline lifeless fan bases and play in less than suitable stadium accommodations. Meanwhile, we can move either San Diego or Jacksonville to LA.

Florida in particular, is a college football state as is the whole southern region for that matter. However, we have the Dolphins and that is good enough. Jacksonville does not have a strong base and plays in a stadium that is car-equivalent of a Ford Pinto.

Prior to the beginning of the 2009 season, 17,000 Jaguar season ticket holders opted not to renew their seats and for their season opener in a 66,000-seat stadium, they had a paid attendance of 46,520. There has been talk recently of the team possibly using the Citrus Bowl in Orlando if the NFL decides to expand its schedule. Such a suggestion prompted a reporter to compare that stadium to Joan Rivers being in a Miss America competition. Ouch.

Anyways, down south, it’s college football first and professional pigskin second. Without a good product and with poor stadium accommodations, Jacksonville serves as little use in the NFL. Either move the franchise to Los Angeles or get it out of the league altogether. The same goes for San Diego, which plays in the antiseptic Qualcomm Stadium. Enough with these teams playing in bad stadiums with somewhat unenthused fans. Either get a new stadium or move on.

As for moving these teams to Los Angeles, it’s a somewhat daunting, but realistic proposition.

The first and most important concept is getting a team back to Los Angeles. I know, I know. No one cares about football in Los Angeles. That statement is false on two levels. First off, the Rams and Raiders played in two terrible buildings for football, the Los Angeles Coliseum and Anaheim Stadium. Unless the second coming of Jim Brown trotted out on the field, I would not support them either. A new stadium would solve numerous problems including:

• Stimulate the economy in Los Angeles; and
• Stimulate fan interest in whatever team.

Secondly, it’s the number two market in the country. Continuing to not support football out there is pointless. Would an LA fanbase be worse than Jacksonville, Carolina or Tampa Bay? So, don’t give me the fanbase argument. It doesn’t fly.

While we have two MLB teams, two NBA teams, and two NHL teams in Los Angeles, an NFL team is asking too much? Ultimately, it comes down to having the funds for a new stadium and finding some wonderful and extremely rich people to support…or when in doubt, just get the taxpayers to cough up the funds.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Three

1. Ladies and gentlemen, we have identified the NFL’s unholy trinity: So, it is apparent that the three worst teams in the league are St. Louis, Kansas City, and Cleveland. Set your Fantasy lineups accordingly.

2. Tennessee’s season is in great peril: The Titans can’t defend the pass, are turning the ball over, and can’t seem to get their starting quarterback untracked. Sounds like their season is almost over to me.

3. Be careful with quarterbacks over 35: Both Kerry Collins and Kurt Warner did not exactly look themselves on Sunday. Pass rush and constant hits made them glassy eyed passers last weekend. Collins misfired on his final 13 passes on Sunday while Warner looked like he had taken more hits than Joe Frazier in the Thrilla In Manila.

4. Fred Jackson’s value is about to drop: Jackson leads the NFL with 77 touches: That is about to change, though, with the return of Marshawn Lynch from his suspension. The party is over for Jackson owners.

5. Let’s settle down on the Drew Brees for President chatter: Brees failed to throw for a touchdown versus Buffalo last week, thus quieting the claims of the Saint offense torching the NFL.

6. It seems as if firing your offensive co-ordinator before season’s start isn’t the best idea after all: Note to all NFL teams — firing your offensive co-ordinator before the start of the regular season is not the wisest move. Buffalo, Tampa Bay and Kansas City are a combined 1-8. These teams rank 17th, 25th and 30th in total offense, respectively.

7. Playing the Jet defense is bad for your quarterback’s statistical health: Matt Schaub, Tom Brady and Collins have all struggled versus Rex Ryan’s defense. As New Orleans lurks for the Jets this weekend, consider these numbers, Brees’ owners. Here are the opposing passer ratings versus the Jets:

• Schaub 55.9
• Brady 53.1
• Collins 41.5

Brees is likely to outperform these numbers, but it will not be easy.

8. Invest in handcuffs: If you haven’t done some recon on the name Glen Coffee, do so right now.

9. Seattle’s new lime green jerseys are an eye sore: Hopefully, those jerseys were burned immediately upon game’s end.

10. Dallas is a good running team, just not inside of the 10-yard line: The Cowboys lead the NFL in rushing, averaging 193 yards per game. However, without Marion Barber last week, they didn’t exactly light it up inside the 10. During a third quarter possession, Dallas ran five plays on goal to go from the 10 and it came away with field goal. Even though Tashard Choice eventually punched one into the endzone, the ‘Boys need Barber immediately.

Week Three BPITW Poll

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Adrian Peterson (2): Another week of less than 20 carries! Cheers for preservation.

2. Drew Brees (1): Yet again, Fantasy met reality in Buffalo last Sunday. The Saints running the ball for over 200 yards is great for them, but when Brees is only throwing for under 200 yards and no scores, that is bad news for his owners.

3. Chris Johnson (3): How long before he is taking handoffs from Vince Young?

4. Maurice Jones-Drew (10): The best player on an otherwise completely boring team.

5. Peyton Manning (6): Half man, half machine.

6. Andre Johnson (5): Johnson killed a few Fantasy teams in Week 16 versus Oakland last year by posting two catches.

7. Reggie Wayne (7): The NFL’s leading receiver netted 126 yards, a score and a nifty one-handed catch last Sunday night versus Arizona.

8. Frank Gore (4): An ankle injury mars what was a solid start for the former Miami Hurricane.

9. Larry Fitzgerald (8): Marcus Fitzgerald was not as active on Twitter this week during big brother’s game.

10. DeSean Jackson (NR): Three games, three 60-yard plus plays. Not bad.

Link of the Week

What I am about to show you is one of the many reasons why people cannot deal with the explosion of more Minnesota QB No. 4 talk. A group of Viking fans did a rap video about their new starting quarterback and ripped a few stars on other teams along the way. Just for the record, after watching this video I’m okay with the Vikings not winning another game all season.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2009/10/04/two-minute-warning-jacksonville-randy-newman-and-you/feed/ 0 http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/25/two-minute-warning-so-tonight-were-going-to-party-like-its-1999/ http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/25/two-minute-warning-so-tonight-were-going-to-party-like-its-1999/#comments Fri, 25 Sep 2009 20:13:26 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=6999
Derek was amazed the first time he saw Marvin Harrison.

Meet the Machines

Ten years ago, I was a naïve 20-year-old college student on the road to…well, at the time I had little idea. However, at that time I got a first hand introduction to two of the most destructive forces in football…Peyton Manning and the Mount Union College Purple Raiders.

The latter is obviously the lesser known of the two but comprises the most technically sound group of football players not playing Division I football. Their fearless leader and head coach, Larry Kehres, has led his Alliance, Ohio-based squad to 10 national titles, 17 consecutive Ohio Athletic Conference titles and the longest winning streak in the history of college football — 55 games.

My alma mater, Rowan University in Glassboro, New Jersey, fell to the Purple Raiders in the Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl on three occasions (’93, 96, ’98). As luck would have it, my first year as a colour analyst for Rowan football on the campus’ college radio station, would include a trip to Ohio as Rowan faced its longtime nemesis in the national semifinal with a berth to the national championship game on the line.

I had seen them on television once before. They were a Division III combo of the ’80s 49ers and the ’70s Steelers. Scoring on their defense was out of the question while holding their offense under 24 points was a pipe dream.

Incredibly, the Profs (yeah, I know…stop laughing) defeated Kehres’ crew in overtime 24-17 to advance to the Stagg Bowl in Salem, Virginia. Rowan celebrated and celebrated and celebrated. Why not? It had just beaten a team that was trying to four-peat on its home field. So carried away with beating the mighty Mount, I ripped up blades of grass from the field and put them in my pocket. Finally, the Profs vanquished the demon and would assuredly win the national title a week later; while Mount Union would fall into the depths of mediocrity.

As it turns out, that never happened. Perhaps, so overwhelmed by defeating Mount Union, a little known team from Tacoma, Washington named Pacific Lutheran, who played tag during pre-game warm-ups and enjoyed watching sunsets together as a team (true story), crushed Rowan 42-13 to win the national championship. Colour me devastated.

How did Mount Union respond after a devastating loss to Rowan? It won the next three national titles. Whoops.

A month prior to Rowan’s demise in Virginia, I stood on the worn, beaten up and rather unsafe surface of Veterans Stadium and helped set up some promotional items as a part of my internship with the Philadelphia Eagles’ flagship radio station, 94.1 WYSP-FM.

Looking around, I noticed a rather large youngster firing balls downfield to another guy who could seemingly catch these passes with his eyes closed. I inched closer and now standing just a few feet away, my eyes confirmed what I originally thought; I was watching Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison practice their craft until they perfected it — something they would go on to do in stadiums throughout the country. Manning’s Colts buried the Birds that day at the Vet, 44-17.

Flashing forward six years, for the first time since its memorable victory in 1999, Rowan paid a visit to Mount Union. The Profs, whose starting quarterback who was out with a broken wrist, lost to Mount Union 19-7. While handling radio play by play duties, I noticed a quick Mount Union receiver who was extremely difficult to cover. His name was Pierre Garcon.

When Garcon took a Manning pass 48 yards to the house for a game-winning score on Monday night against Miami, I could not help but realize that two entities which tormented my professional and college teams now were married together on the field.

As a Rowan University football fan, Eagle fan and follower of all things Tom Brady and Bill Belichick related, it was an unsettling moment.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Two

1. Don’t sleep on small college football: You don’t need to be from USC, Miami or Notre Dame to have a good career in the pros. Not only did Garcon stun the Dolphins, but Buffalo’s Fred Jackson is also a D-III player by way of Coe College in Iowa. Meanwhile, Joe Flacco of the University of Delaware led Baltimore to the AFC title game last year and a 2-0 start so far. His head coach at Delaware? K.C. Keeler, formally of Rowan University. Yes, another gratuitous mention of Rowan University.

2. Something is terribly wrong with the Tennessee pass defense: Through two games, the Titan pass defense allowed 321 and 357 yards passing. While they have been solid against the run, their pass defense stinks thus far. Take note if you’re on the fence with a quarterback who is facing them.

3. Don’t get Marcus Fitzgerald on your bad side: Young Marcus is the brother of the great Larry Fitzgerald. Unhappy that his brother wasn’t exactly getting quality looks from Kurt Warner, Marcus did what any calm and rational sibling would do…he took his complaints to Twitter and unleashed the following tirade:

Marcusfitz1 Just got off the phone with my brother.he’s happy about the win. But PISSED he didnt get the ball thrown 2 him much!

Marcusfitz1 Bout time kurt!I almost had to come to jacksonville & strangle his ass lmao.

Marcusfitz1 Ok another drive & kurt doesnt throw 2 larry.YOU OLD ASS MAN,THROW HIM THE DAMN BALL

Marcusfitz1 @TBaby81 kurt warner plays like a damn 80 year old! my brother just texted me during halftime pissed off

Marcusfitz1 Kurt warner needs 2 stop bein a scary ass & throw the ball deep 2 my brother!damn this is annoying 2 watch!he throws 2 the rb’s 2 damn much!

Marcus maintained he was kidding afterwards. Somehow, I don’t quite buy that.

4. When your team gives up 183 yards receiving to a tight end, allows said opponent to hold the ball for under 15 minutes and yet still loses the game, something is terribly wrong: The bloom is off the rose for the Miami Dolphins. Despite dominating time of possession and the tempo, they still managed to lose. Don’t expect them to be a playoff team in 2009.

5. Tony Romo’s Week One performance versus Tampa Bay was clearly a mirage: Watching Playbook on the NFL Network is not a fun view if you’re a Romo fan. He struggled to recognize coverages and did not see the field well. The bizarre Jason Witten kick that led to a pick aside, he looked awful.

6. The San Francisco 49ers are the team to beat in the NFC West: With Arizona playing a slightly more challenging schedule this season, the ‘Niners could make some hay in the NFC West. They already beat Arizona in the desert and this week square off against the Vikings and Minnesota QB No. 4, who the 49ers beat a season ago when he was a Jet.

7. It’s okay to admit that the Cincinnati Bengals have a good defense, really…it’s cool: Antwan Odom leads the league in sacks with seven, while the Bengals are tops in that same category as a team. They should be 2-0 except for that disaster play versus Denver in Week One. Defense is back in Cincinnati. I can’t believe I just typed that.

8. Don’t jump yet, Tom Brady owners: Carson Palmer, Donovan McNabb and Daunte Culpepper all suffered serious knee injuries. While McNabb is the only one who posted career numbers following his ACL injury, all three struggled to shake off the rust. Why people were expecting the 50-touchdown Brady from the jump is beyond me. It’s going to take some time, America. Let’s not throw dirt on him yet.

9. Every year will be the year of the quarterback: Through the first two weeks of the NFL season, the composite quarterback rating is 83.9, which would be a new standard for quarterback play. Considering defenders are nearly penalized for taking the field at this point, that trend is likely to continue.

10. Darrelle Revis = shutdown corner: Revis has faced Andre Johnson and Randy Moss in the first two weeks. During those two games, he allowed eight catches for 59 yards with a long reception of seven yards. Don’t go his way with a throw, period.

Week Three BPITW Poll

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Drew Brees (2) – He is on pace to throw 72 touchdowns. He will never reach that, but it is fun to think about.

2. Adrian Peterson (1) – The biggest concern is his workload and thankfully, Brad Childress did not run him into the ground versus the hapless Lions.

3. Chris Johnson (NR) – He put forth a performance for all seasons against the Texans. Somewhere, Gus Johnson is still screaming.

4. Frank Gore (NR) – It’s good to have back 2006 Gore. It has been a while. We missed you.

5. Andre Johnson (10) – A monster week in Tennessee puts him at the head of the class for receivers.

6. Peyton Manning (9) – Anyone actually believe that Indy was losing that game on Monday night?

7. Reggie Wayne (7) – He will likely not get the credit because of other guys at the position, but he is as steady as they come.

8. Larry Fitzgerald (8) – His brother needs to settle down.

9. DeAngelo Williams (6) – He looked better versus Atlanta, but his ’08 season will be hard to duplicate.

10. Maurice Jones-Drew (5) – Another year, another rough start for the Jags.

Link of the Week

One of America’s greatest musical products, Bruce Springsteen, turned 60 earlier this week. Let’s jump in our time machine and visit the quality year of 1975. Bruce and the E Street Band performed in London and rocked the house with a version of Tenth Avenue Freeze Out.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/25/two-minute-warning-so-tonight-were-going-to-party-like-its-1999/feed/ 0 http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/18/two-minute-warning-from-foxborough-with-love/ http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/18/two-minute-warning-from-foxborough-with-love/#comments Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:03:55 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=6848
With Dick Jauron in charge, Buffalo fans are in for a long season.

Jake

Earlier this week, I discovered one of my friends, who is a big Carolina Panthers fan, had made her way down to Charlotte, North Carolina to watch Eagles-Panthers. Prior to Sunday, the last Panther game she attended? That’s right, the 2008 NFC Divisional playoff game versus Arizona. 

Thus, over the span of two trips, she spent close to $200 on tickets, sat in a car for over 40 hours, and drove over 2,400 miles there and back to see Jake Delhomme unleash the following performances:

vs. Arizona: 17 of 34, 205 yards, 1 TD, 5 INTs, 39.1 rating
vs. Philly: 7 of 17, 73 yards, 0 TD, 4 INTs, 14.7 rating

Terrifying.

In the wake of those back-to-back horrendous efforts, NFL teams should enact the “Delhomme Clause,” which means if you’re in attendance for a game where the home quarterback’s passer rating is sub 50, home fans should get their money back or a free pizza.

It’s a reasonable request. If anyone failed at such a rate on their own job, they would likely become acquainted with unemployment.

This country is in one of the greatest economic slides of all-time, yet people are subjected to seeing an athlete — who signed a contract extension that includes $20 million of guaranteed money — put together two of the worst quarterback efforts in the Super Bowl era.

That is unacceptable. The only thing as depressing in Week One was probably being a Bill fan watching the Buffalo meltdown in Foxborough on Monday night.

The Inferior Head Coach-Quarterback Combo

Speaking of that game, it was a bit sad to see Buffalo fans suffer once again. However, what did they expect? You are what you eat. Their head coach is Dick Jauron. Let me write that once more, their head coach is Dick Jauron.

The same man that is 0-8 lifetime against William Stephen Belichick is also the same man who has posted a winning record once in his previous nine seasons as a head coach.

In fact, if you want to guarantee that your team is going to lose heartbreaking regular season games on a repeated basis, just examine the head coach and quarterback. Those two figures rank as two of your organization’s biggest decision makers — one from a personnel standpoint and the other having a direct impact with their play on the field.

Look at three of the biggest losers from the Week One: Buffalo, Cincinnati and Oakland. All three lost in heartbreaking fashion.

In Buffalo, you have Jauron and Trent Edwards; Cincy has Marvin Lewis and Carson Palmer; and Oakland offers the dynamic duo of Tom Cable and JaMarcus Russell. It’s not an accident those teams end up in those situations.

The aforementioned six gentlemen have a combined zero playoff wins. When a team offers up a bad head coach and either relatively inexperienced or incompetent quarterbacking, that leads to fans crying in their onion dip.

Ten Things We Learned in Week One

1. Well, it didn’t take long for the Eagles’ season to become fun: As surmised in last week’s edition of TMW, Philly’s season was destined to become entertaining. With Donovan McNabb’s broken rib an issue, the Eagles signed former Philly QB Jeff Garcia, who joins Mac5, Michael Vick and Kevin Kolb on the roster. The Eagles are trying to convince people that McNabb might play on Sunday, but that is a strategic move to throw off the Saints. It makes no sense for him to play when their bye lands in Week Four.

2. Apparently, firing your offensive co-ordinator days before the regular season isn’t that awful: Buffalo, Kansas City and Tampa Bay all fired the offensive co-ordinators prior to the regular season’s start. Here’s how they fared on Sunday:

Buffalo – 276 yards, 24 points
Kansas City – 188 yards, 24 points
Tampa Bay – 450 yards, 21 points

While the yardage numbers were not booming for the first two, they at least looked like competent offenses that could score.

3. Tom Brady isn’t all the way back yet: As great as the comeback on Monday night was, Brady’s timing was definitely off. He wasn’t quite stepping into throws and looked out of sync until the final five minutes of the game. It could be several weeks before he returns to 2007 Tom. The good news for Brady owners is that he looked even better trying to escape the clutches of Suzy Kolber during a post-game interview.

4. Gus Johnson + Crazy Finish = Insanity: Johnson’s call of the Brandon Stokley catch ranked right near the top of his all-time best calls. See Gonzaga/UCLA for further details.

5. Giving Delhomme $20 million of guaranteed money wasn’t the best idea: Memo to the Panthers: Draft a quarterback in 2010.

6. Dark days are ahead for the Arizona Cardinals: If Sunday was any indication, the Cardinals are in trouble. The curse of the Super Bowl runner-up is the real deal.

7. The Jets might be for real: One thing is for sure, while their rookie quarterback still has to work out the kinks, the Jet defense looks ready for prime time.

8. Minnesota QB No. 4 is old: He only threw for 110 yards and managed to get sacked four times against Cleveland.

9. The two best teams in Week One played last Thursday night: None of the AFC heavyweights looked Super Bowl ready except for two. After Week One, the two best AFC teams were the same from a season ago — Pittsburgh and Tennessee.

10. Jay Cutler is the newest “gunslinger”: The Bears hope their new quarterback doesn’t find the opposition four times in a game again or repeatedly throws into triple and quadruple coverage. He forced passes and made poor decisions without having a significant pass rush get in his face often.  

Week Two BPITW Poll

Last week’s rankings in parenthesis.

1. Adrian Peterson (1) – Attention, members of the media: Minnesota QB No. 4 passed for 110 yards, not 410 yards. Fighting dehydration and media bias, AP rambled for 180 yards and three scores.

2. Drew Brees (5) – While he seems to be the people’s choice as “best quarterback in the NFL,” let’s see how he does against a defense that shows a pulse.

3. Tom Brady (9) – After a mortal first three and a half quarters of football in his return, he dragged his left knee and the Patriots across the finish line for a win.  

4. Maurice Jones-Drew (2) – After he scored last Sunday against the Colts, he debuted his supermarket dance by pushing a cart and grabbing items off an imaginary shelf. By the way, that dance was inspired by NFL Network’s Rich Eisen. True story.

5. DeAngelo Williams (3) – Fantasy owners can thank Delhomme for burying Williams’ value.

6. Reggie Wayne (NR) – Marvin Harrison stopped being Marvin Harrison three years ago. Thus, Wayne did not miss him on Sunday.

7. Larry Fitzgerald (5) –  One half of the Madden ’10 cover (Troy Polamalu) down, one to go.

8. Peyton Manning (NR) – From September to December, the man is a machine.

9. Tony Romo (NR) – Romo doesn’t have to deal with T.O. while Jessica Simpson is being labeled as “desperate” on tabloids. With his mind clear of clutter, Romo had a career day. I’m guessing that is not a coincidence.

10. Andre Johnson (NR) – The Jets turned into the mini-Baltimore Ravens.

Link of the Week

As I’m putting this together, I’m watching some old movie from the 70s called FM featuring Martin Mull, Cleavon Little and a bunch of actors I’ve never heard of. Anyways, the Doobie Brothers’ song “It Keeps You Runnin’” is playing in the background.

[edit]It brings to mind one of the great TV episodes of all time. The sitcom What’s Happening offered up an episode that featured the Doobie Brothers, a live concert, and a lesson on bootlegging. Nothing sings to me quite like overdramatic television from the ’70s and ’80s.

Oh, one more thing about this movie. Jimmy Buffett is on my screen. I don’t get the appeal. Although, he is one of the main names behind the Dolphins renaming their facility Land Shark Stadium, his popularity amazes me. Is this what Dave Matthews is going to become in 15 years? This concerns me.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/18/two-minute-warning-from-foxborough-with-love/feed/ 0 http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/11/two-minute-warning-dear-summer-please-go-away/ http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/11/two-minute-warning-dear-summer-please-go-away/#comments Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:41:53 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=6735
Can we finally stop obsessing about Dr. Conrad Murray and start focusing on football?

Summer Daze

I live in New Jersey and frequent the Jersey Shore with the consistency of Jake Delhomme’s quarterbacking. While I enjoy many of the perks of the summer — lighter workload, good scenery, vacation, etc. — this is the time of the year.

I’m already over the summer being over. In fact, my timeline every year is the same. My birthday falls on July 16. Once that passes, it might as well be 57 degrees Fahrenheit and cloudy outside. The summer is over to me. However, due to my failure of creating a time machine, I can’t speed ahead to September. Thankfully, the wait is now over.

I’m tired of getting up on a summer weekend and putting on a pair of shorts, a T-shirt and my Asics sneakers to run errands in 96 degree Fahrenheit weather. It is time for jeans, hooded sweatshirts, post-season baseball, seeing your own breath, bad holiday commercials and most importantly, football.

Gone are the days of watching cranky souls yell at each other on MSNBC during town hall meetings over health care (well, for now anyways). No more stories about Dr. Conrad Murray. No more stories about Jon and Kate. Thank you, that is enough.

You know what I did last night out of utter exhaustion and boredom? I put in a Monday Night Football game from 1985 between Joe Montana’s San Francisco 49ers and John Elway’s Denver Broncos. Nothing notable happened other than 49er quarterback Matt Cavanaugh having a hard time holding for field goals because Denver fans were throwing snowballs at him. That’s how much I miss football.

Fantasy drafts are great, but few things beat the feeling of watching football on Sundays. The mediocre pre-game shows…the first TV game break with an injury update that is sure to ruin your Fantasy season…the endless hours of eating badly…wondering exactly why your local CBS affiliate keeps showing the Buffalo Bills, Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens every week. I love being mad about this stuff. It doesn’t matter in life’s grand scheme, but football sparks these somewhat irrational concepts.

Now, after months of waiting, the season is here. All of the shucking and jiving is over. It’s time to get down to business. Week One is set to begin and not a moment too soon.

Ten Things About the 2009 Season

1. Shaky leaders make shaky decisions: What could it possibly say about head coaches Dick Jauron, Raheem Morris, and Todd Haley that they all let go of their offensive co-ordinators prior to the regular season’s start? When your respective quarterbacks are Trent Edwards, Byron Leftwich, and Matt Cassel, perhaps there is a larger problem at hand.

2. Bear fans might want to delay those calls to travel agencies in Miami: Jay Cutler brings his strong, yet inconsistent arm to the Windy City. Instead of throwing to Brandon Marshall and Eddie Royal, he is targeting Earl Bennett, Devin Hester and Juaquin Iglesias. If you’re relatively new to football, the latter trio isn’t exactly the crème de la crème of NFL receivers. If Cutler leads this gang to the Super Bowl, colour me shocked. Sorry, Peter King.

3. Patriot fans should be more worried about their offensive line than Tom Brady’s knee: Three teams that New England might see in the AFC playoffs (that’s right, let’s already jump the gun) — San Diego, Pittsburgh and Tennessee — can bring the heat. If Brady’s protectors don’t get on the good foot, he’s going to spend January with Gisele once more (not that this would be a hardship by anyone’s measure).

4. Pittsburgh will not appear in too many five-star matchups this season: After playing a schedule that seemingly featured the ’89 49ers and ’92 Cowboys, the Steelers’ schedule is a bit friendlier this season. The opposition’s winning percentage is .434 which ranks as the league’s fourth-easiest schedule and includes an appearance by the Detroit Lions. By the way, I’d like to use this opportunity to state the ’72 Dolphins faced a schedule with an opposing winning percentage of .367. That is all.

5. Buffalo is running the no-huddle offense: I can’t express how incredulous of a decision this is. What personnel do the Bills have to run such an offense? They are using a quarterback, Edwards, who has all of 24 starts under his belt and is working with another new offensive co-ordinator. Further compounding matters, guess which receiver is a bit unhappy with the no-huddle’s installment? Yep.

6. It’s always cloudy in San Diego: For my next topic, I would like to channel Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary”:

Y’ know, every now and then
I think you might like to hear something from us
Nice and easy
But there’s just one thing
You see we never ever do nothing
Nice and easy
We always do it nice and rough

This is not only a duet by Ike and Tina Turner, but it also perfectly describes the San Diego Chargers. Thanks to this Shawne Merriman/Tila Tequila fiasco, the Chargers just have one more problem to deal with. If they go to the Super Bowl, again, colour me surprised.

7. This will be a Brett Favre-free zone: Starting next week, this will be an article free of Favre mentions. Instead, I will pull a page straight from the video game playbook. He will henceforth be known as “Minnesota QB #4” whenever I need to refer to him.

8. Philadelphia is in store for a bananas season: I’m not sure what is going to happen with the Eagles this season. However, I feel confident by saying that is likely to be a chaotic. If the Michael Vick stuff is not a distraction and the defense plays well, it could be a Super Bowl team. If Vick goes south and the team goes belly up, we’re in store for a show that will put this upcoming season of The Hills to shame.

9. The slide of the Indianapolis Colts begins…now: Safety Bob Sanders is already injured and the Colts endured massive changes to their coaching staff. How does this all equal to another 12-win season? Can’t be, right?

10. 10. Pittsburgh vs. Green Bay will be Super Bowl XLIV: After being clubbed over the head by the media with “one for the thumb,” back-to-back Manning Super Bowl wins, and “Sixburgh,” doesn’t this mean that we are in store for something different? Nope. Instead, get ready for the obligatory “Steelers: Team of the Decade” discussion and plenty of questions for Packer quarterback Aaron Rodgers regarding what is was like playing with Minnesota QB #4. Great, where do I sign?

Power Poll

Note: I’m adjusting the previous Fantasy power poll to the BPITW Poll. The abbreviation is short for Best Player in the World. Granted, there isn’t a high volume of professional football teams in Asia or Mexico, but since the CFL exists and the phrase works, it’s time to put it to good use.

Week One BPITW Poll

1. Adrian Peterson: Perhaps Minnesota QB #4 will turn him into Adrian Peterson, catcher of screen passes.

2. Maurice Jones-Drew: He sports the most important shin in the state of Florida, unless you throw Tim Tebow into the mix.

3. DeAngelo Williams: One of these days, having Jake Delhomme as his quarterback will cost him…just not yet.

4. Matt Forte: The Packer defense will give him a good workout on Sunday night.

5. Drew Brees: The Fantasy gods are dealing Brees’ owners a bad hand by offering up the Lions in Week One as opposed to last year’s Week 16 tilt.

6. Larry Fitzgerald: No offence to Larry, but he did a great deal of his damage with Anquan Boldin injured. The Quan was just as effective before his Meadowlands facial injury.

7. Andre Johnson: It would be nice to see him reach double-digit touchdowns at some point.

8. Michael Turner: Is this the man who will break the Curse of 370?

9. Tom Brady: Our long nightmare is over. He is back!

10. LaDainian Tomlinson: The last stand for LT?

Link of the Week

Speaking of BPITWs, the story of Bo Jackson is a sad one. Check out this compilation of crazy Jackson runs which ironically ends with the final run of his career. Little did Dick Enberg know he was calling a career-ending hip pointer injury during the 1990 AFC Divisional playoffs versus Cincinnati. It was another sad chapter in Raider history over the past 20 years.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2009/09/11/two-minute-warning-dear-summer-please-go-away/feed/ 1 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/26/two-minute-warning-home-of-our-founding-fathers/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/26/two-minute-warning-home-of-our-founding-fathers/#comments Fri, 26 Dec 2008 19:52:43 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2405 Home of Our Founding Fathers

Spending the weekend in Washington, D.C., during Week 16 turned into a mixed blessing. I had a great time working, but my cell phone bill for December is likely to go through the roof (more on that later). While there for four days I made five big observations:

1. Much like the people in the city, the homeless folks are a bit aggressive. In fact, one almost followed my group back to the hotel asking for money.

2. While meandering through the Georgetown district, I passed by George Will, who had the same peculiar scowl on his face that he always does when on television. I wondered to myself is this guy ever happy? He mostly talks about politics and Cal Ripken. I don’t think that’s a good combo that leads to a happy life.

3. While in the American University gymnasium last Friday, I saw the retired jersey of former Los Angeles Laker Kermit Washington. Because of the famous Rudy Tomjanovich incident, it’s completely forgotten that Washington was a successful basketball player at one point of his career.

4. The Christmas tree in front of the Capitol building is 144 years old! I don’t why but it was one of the most fascinating things I’ve learned in weeks.

5. While watching the Ravens/Cowboys game at a bar on Saturday night, a group of guys dressed as Santa Claus were in the midst of a bar hopping tour throughout downtown Washington. It was the same group of tuned up guys I’d seen three hours earlier while at a restaurant for dinner. Note to self: nothing says Christmas like seeing a group of drunk and sloppy Santa Clauses.

One of the trip’s highlights turned out to be the three and a half hour bus ride back home without a great phone for Internet access and just texting access to find out how my players were doing in a championship game.

Knowing that my team held a slim three-point lead, I kept sending text updates about Andre Johnson and Marshawn Lynch. Both had relatively bad days except for the fact that Lynch scratched out a touchdown.

Few things in the realm of sports fandom is as annoying as not being able to watch football games if you have some monetary interests in the contest. Getting repeated texts that Johnson has zero catches isn’t exactly the most uplifting of things on a Sunday evening.

The two most puzzling developments of the day turned out to be that my eventual title victory was aided by Texan tight end Owen Daniels and the Seattle defense (thanks Brett Favre).

It’s further proof that during fantasy championship week, you need all hands on deck because you just can’t count on your stars to get it done every week.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 16

1. Derek Ward made a good chunk of change last Sunday night: En route to a 215-yard rushing day, Ward may have bolted to the top of the free agent charts in the offseason by beating up the Panthers and possibly saving the Giants’ postseason run in the process. Some may seem him as Michael Turner Lite in another NFL town next season.

2. The Arizona Cardinals are D.O.A.: The phrase “just happy to be there” clearly applies to the Cardinals, who have lost their last two games by a combined score of 82-21. Never was it more evident than last week in Foxborough, Massachusetts, when the Patriots took their lunch money, 47-7.

3. Tony Romo isn’t exactly conjuring up memories of Roger Staubach: The two long touchdown runs by Willis McGahee and LeRon McClain actually helped Romo apply some plastic surgery to his stats and enhance his performance on paper. However, through the first three and a half quarters, he looked and played scared versus Baltimore last Saturday night. When the pressure amps up, he tends to wilt. The Cowboys might find their way into the playoffs, but unless Romo gets going, they’ll be hard pressed to make a big run.

4. Peyton Manning reads Two Minute Warning…in my dreams: Since I decried Peter King’s backing of Manning for MVP, Peyton has thrown for 277, 318 and 364 yards in the past three games. He still isn’t the MVP because of who he’s doing this against. Yet, he’s more than capable of carrying the Colts to a few post-season wins.

5. Philip Rivers is making a push into the top five of fantasy quarterbacks for 2009: Heading into the ’09 season, you’d have to consider the top five fantasy quarterbacks as Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Romo, Tom Brady and possibly Rivers in that mix. The San Diego offense is clearly in his hands with a declining LaDainian Tomlinson.

6. Yet again, the weather won in the northeast: It was a brutal weekend for quarterbacks on the east coast that weren’t named Matt Cassel. Warner threw for 30 yards; Donovan McNabb didn’t throw a touchdown pass; and Eli Manning and Jake Delhomme both failed to reach 200 yards and combined to throw one touchdown pass. Cold, windy and snowy conditions are almost always a recipe for disaster in the fantasy playoffs.

7. Brett Favre’s career is just about over: Favre seemingly wears out towards season’s end and doesn’t have quite the zip his passes once possessed. The end is here. Hopefully he makes the right decision and decides to hang them up (for real, this time).

8. Apparently, DeAngelo Williams is on par with Jim Brown: Williams is one 30-yard plus touchdown run short of Brown’s all-time single-season record of seven touchdown runs of at least 30 yards, set back in 1958. Perhaps over the holiday season, Williams dropped off some Rolexes to his hard at work offensive linemen.

9. Week 16 set a potentially dangerous Week 17 for those who are still playing: I sure hope your fantasy season is over at this point because Week 17 is usually the “we’re not sure how much time he’ll see on the field” week. That typically costs someone dearly in the end. Please monitor those situations carefully like the Tennessee/Indy game where neither team can change its playoff positioning.

10. Enjoy this Detroit team; you may never see anything like it again: With several Detroit players suffering from the flu last Sunday, the Saints brutalized the Lions to the tune of a 42-7 win. If you’re unfortunate enough to view the Packers/Lions game on Sunday, raise your glass in tribute to the Lions. It takes an extremely untalented bunch to go 0-16.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Adrian Peterson (1) – He doesn’t have that boffo touchdown total to his credit yet and he is having fumbling issues, which is a concern.

2. DeAngelo Williams (3) – Everyone who had Williams scoring 20 touchdowns this season raise your hand.

3. Michael Turner (2) – Perhaps, the steadiest of fantasy running backs this season.

4. Drew Brees (4) – A trip to Detroit cured his road woes.

5. Philip Rivers (NR) – His four-touchdown day in Tampa further solidifies his positioning as a future big time quarterback.

6. Andre Johnson (7) – Sunday’s performance versus Oakland was further proof that the Raiders actually have some pretty good football players.

7. Larry Fitzgerald (10) – The dreaded garbage time touchdown from Fitzgerald was the only thing to write home about for the Cardinals.

8. Calvin Johnson (8) – A flu-ridden Dan Orlovsky and a touchdown called back due to penalty robbed Johnson of a potential monster game.

9. Brian Westbrook (5) – If Westbrook is the starting tailback, why is the quarterback 20 passes away from setting the team’s all-time record for pass attempts in a season? Plain dumb.

10. Thomas Jones (9) – The Jets evidently loathe the west coast.

Links of the Week

ESPN ran its Greatest Game Ever special, a review of the epic ’58 Colts/Giants NFL Title game. While it’s hailed as the NFL’s landmark game, I have at least 10 games that were better and are required viewing for NFL fans assuming you can find the games within somewhat legal means.

1. The Catch – 1982 NFC Championship Game: Dallas vs. San Francisco

2. The Ice Bowl – 1967 NFL Championship Game: Dallas vs. Green Bay

3. Sea of Hands – 1974 AFC Divisional Playoff: Miami vs. Oakland

4. Wide Right – Super Bowl XXV: NY Giants vs. Buffalo

5. The Dennis Green Game – October 2006: Chicago vs. Arizona

6. The Shoulder Game – January 1994: Dallas vs. NY Giants

7. The Longest Yard – Super Bowl XXXIV: St. Louis vs. Tennessee

8. Favre Is Overrated and This One’s For John – Super Bowl XXXII: Denver vs. Green Bay

9. Montana vs. Elway – October 1994: Monday Night Football

10. No Three Peat – 1990 NFC Championship Game: NY Giants vs. San Francisco

Next Week: We’ll review the best fantasy moments of the regular season. And stayed tuned shortly for the 2008 RotoRob Football Awards.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/26/two-minute-warning-home-of-our-founding-fathers/feed/ 0 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/18/two-minute-warning-the-final-bell/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/18/two-minute-warning-the-final-bell/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:53:22 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2376 Last Call

With the holiday season in full swing, thoughts arise of yuletide greetings, overindulging on egg nog, ducking shopping duties with your girlfriend to watch football and gorging yourself on food.

However, the holiday season also marks the end. Week 16 is here and for most leagues that means the end of the fantasy football season. A voyage that begins for most in August amidst beer drinking and consuming copious amounts of pizza ends by Christmas time.

It’s a bittersweet time because most teams are finished by now. So, if you’re an owner fortunate enough to still be setting a lineup, the final moments before championship week are here.

Thus, when Week 17 arrives there isn’t a lineup to set or a player to yell at because he keeps running out of bounds (yeah, I’m talking to you Reggie Bush and Steve Slaton) or because he might show disturbing psychological behavior somewhat similar to a world renowned chess champion. It’s all over.

Football is football and it’s fun, but after training our mind in the wacky world of fantasy football for five months, the detox process is very difficult.

As some random ’80s hair band said years ago, “there’s a whole in my heart and it can only be filled by you.”

I’m 99.9 per cent sure that song had nothing to do with fantasy football, but it still best describes my feelings toward it. Now, I have to do other things with my life, like pick up cooking, or go to graduate school or learn how to play chess or read a few books.

August 2009 is a long way off. When the clock strikes triple zeros in Chicago on Monday night, the march towards summer for fantasy football fans begins again.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 15

1. The New York Giants will not make the Super Bowl: I know it’s chic to jump off the Giant bandwagon, but keep one thing in perspective as we approach the NFL playoffs — two of the biggest reasons the Giants defeated one of the greatest teams in NFL history in Super Bowl XLII was great offensive line play and Plaxico Burress’ ability to create mismatches in the secondary. Heading into Week 16, they don’t lack both and that pass rush isn’t quite as ferocious either.

2. The Tennessee Titans will not make the Super Bowl: It was a nice story but as the Jags found out last season, this isn’t 1974 anymore and you can’t literally run your way to the Super Bowl. At some point, the quarterback and receivers must saddle up and make plays. Kerry Collins and company failed to do so last Sunday in Houston.

3. If fantasy owners have players facing the Steelers or Ravens, man up and sit your players: So, turning on the television after work on Sunday and seeing the score of “Baltimore 9, Pittsburgh 6” during the fourth quarter ranked as a big of a surprise as finding out that water is wet. Championship week offers ominous matchups for the Cowboys who’ll play Baltimore and the Titans, who’ll play the Steelers. Unless it’s an absolute necessity, consider sitting anyone playing against the Steeler or Raven defenses.

4. Marion Barber’s fantasy value in 2009 will not be of first round quality: At the beginning of the Cowboy training camp in 2009, they’ll have Barber, Tashard Choice and Felix Jones at running back. That’s a crowded backfield and it means ultimately that a lot of touches must go around for the running game. With the home run capabilities of Choice and Jones, don’t expect Barber to be a first round pick in fantasy drafts.

5. Andre Johnson should be the number one ranked fantasy receiver in 2009…if we could somehow be assured of a clean bill of health for Matt Schaub: It’s a pretty simple concept. When Sage Rosenfels plays, Johnson is good but not as dangerous. When Schaub is in, Johnson is the best receiver in the league because he provides the complete package. He’s physical, possesses great hands and can scoot after the catch. Consider him the number one receiver in the NFL and fantasy football heading into next season.

6. If Johnson is number one, Calvin Johnson will be number two if he’s ever fortunate enough to play with mostly one quarterback during a season: Jon Kitna, Dan Orlovsky, Daunte Culpepper, Drew Henson, and Drew Stanton were the quarterbacks fortunate enough to throw to Johnson this season. Sadly, a player as gifted as Johnson must put with that rubbish at quarterback. Nonetheless, he’s established himself as a major threat. Just imagine if he had a competent quarterback.

7. Ben Roethlisberger is the NFL MVP: I’m fully aware we live in the age of numbers and that it’s the only way to significantly measure a player’s importance according to some. Yet, I’m throwing my support for NFL MVP behind Ben (I will no longer use the R word because it’s too long and gives my Microsoft Word spell check a big headache). Despite his less than spectacular passer rating of 80.2, Ben (or as some call him, 7) survived the league’s toughest schedule in the last 25 years, a mediocre offensive line, and managed to stage fourth quarter heroics versus Baltimore (twice), Jacksonville, San Diego and Dallas. The end result is that Pittsburgh is AFC North Champion and poses as a legitimate contender to win the Super Bowl.

8. The lesser knowns often lead to fantasy championships: If you had Pierre Thomas and Antonio Bryant in your lineup this week, you clearly outperformed someone armed with LaDainian Tomlinson and Terrell Owens.

9. Stars will turn into goats: Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald didn’t get it done last week against Minnesota, Brian Westbrook failed to throttle the Browns and Jay Cutler threw up a clunker at Carolina. Welcome to the most miserable time of the year for some fantasy owners.

10. Ride the bad matchups to the finish line: The Saints visit Detroit, while the 49ers head to St. Louis. Obviously any Saint is in play, while 49ers quarterback Shaun Hill poses as an intriguing option. Also, Kansas City hosts Miami, in what should be a cake walk for the Dolphins.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Adrian Peterson (4) – Ladies and gentlemen, the number one overall pick in 2009 fantasy football drafts.

2. Michael Turner (5) – Turner will not sneak up anyone next season but he’s lived up to the billing and then some in 2008.

3. DeAngelo Williams (3) – A part of the best running game in the NFL.

4. Drew Brees (1) – Road Brees and Home Brees aren’t quite Dr. Jekylll and Mr. Hyde, but it’s not far off when comparing the numbers.

5. Brian Westbrook (7) – Despite not scoring, he moves up two spots because he’s likely to slam the ‘Skins on Sunday.

6. Kurt Warner (2) – He’s not running out of gas like Brett Favre, but teams are taking away what he likes to do and putting more pressure on him.

7. Andre Johnson (NR) – The Tennessee secondary is glad not to see Johnson anymore this season.

8. Calvin Johnson (NR) – He is matchup proof and must start against anyone.

9. Thomas Jones (6) – Thomas, your 15 minutes of fame are about up.

10. Larry Fitzgerald (8) – Warner’s demise down the stretch affected Fitzgerald last week versus Minnesota.

Link of the Week

It’s Christmas time and that means reliving holiday movies. No, no, no. I’m not going to subject you to a link featuring A Christmas Story, which will be on a lot over the next week.

Instead, I’ll offer up some Chevy Chase from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Nothing quite says Christmas like Clark W. Griswold being denied his Christmas bonus!

Next Week: It’s a field trip to Washington, D.C.!

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/18/two-minute-warning-the-final-bell/feed/ 1 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/11/two-minute-warning-newport-dreaming/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/11/two-minute-warning-newport-dreaming/#comments Thu, 11 Dec 2008 20:34:33 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2367 The Road to Glory Begins

It’s make or break time for many fantasy owners out there. The decisions made over the next few days will decide whether owners have a little extra money to buy their significant others more gifts or if they’ll swallow the bitter pill of defeat.

This time of year is often nerve wracking for yours truly. In fact, my hysteria will be at an all-time high this season. No, not because I’m benching Frank Gore and Marshawn Lynch in favour of Pierre Thomas and LenDale White, but for a far more significant reason.

This week, I’m working on Sunday during the afternoon games and then, the following week — which will serve as the championship game for my league — I’ll be in Washington, D.C., to cover a basketball game during Week 16 action. While I’ll see jumpers flying in the air, I’ll be wondering whether Calvin Johnson can grab a garbage time score for my team.

Fantasy sports have become ingrained into the culture of sports to such a heightened state that it often blurs the line for fans. I’m not ashamed to say this, but if Donovan McNabb of my beloved Eagles goes out on Monday Night Football and throws six interceptions in a 47-10 loss to the Cleveland Browns, I might be more devastated about Drew Brees of my fantasy team throwing four picks and getting held to 175 yards without a touchdown versus the Bears.

Is there something fundamentally wrong with such irrational thinking?

Brees is my fantasy team’s flagship player. My squad is 12-2 and should win the championship. In my heart of hearts, I know that McNabb and company have a big fat expiration date on their season. Whether it ends in Week 17 at home versus Dallas or in a playoff loss at the Meadowlands, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Yet, dropping a league playoff game to me might as well be Team Russia’s hockey team losing to the United States in the 1980 Olympics. I’ll sulk for months. Meanwhile, if the Eagles are fortunate enough to make the playoffs and then lose 27-10 to the Giants, I’ll say I told you so.

Nonetheless, not being able to follow your team in a playoff game by watching the action on television is not a pretty thing. I would never pick up smoking, but if I trail at any point on Sunday, I’ll consider it. Instead of sitting down in front of a 46-inch TV screen on Sunday, I’ll be putting my nose to the grindstone at work.

I think I’ll be okay until I read the first online update during the Texans/Titans clash that reads:

25-L. White left guard to TEN 41 for -1 yards

I’m a creature of habit and Sundays at 1 p.m. during the fall and winter is my habit. Taking me away from it is akin to taking a fish out of his bowl, putting it on the ground and watching it flap away while away from its natural habitat.

Hence, the challenge begins. I’ll have to survive the next two Sundays as my fantasy team hopefully flies to a championship — I hope.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 14

1. The Philadelphia Eagles obituary isn’t quite ready yet: The only way the Eagles could salvage their season and possibly save their quarterback’s seemingly fragile state was to just hand the keys over to Brian Westbrook. After looking beaten up and worn out over the past few weeks, Westbrook compiled six touchdowns over two games including a 203-total yards, two-touchdown outburst to help the Birds upset the Giants last Sunday. Next up will be the Cleveland Browns, who should be in store for a massacre.

2. The 2008 season has been a bizarre ride: With the many oddities that have occurred thus far during the 2008 season, it didn’t sink in just how strange a year it has been until reading a line in Mike Lombardi’s Saints/Bears preview on the National Football Post web site:

Bears need to double Lance Moore on every key down. He is the man the QB looks for to make a play. Jeremy Shockey has no touchdowns this season.

On the list of things I didn’t think I’d read this season, doubling Moore is one of them. After all, remember Marques Colston? Furthermore, before season’s start, of the receivers I’d double in this league, Moore would have been 171st on my list, right behind Dallas’ Sam Hurd. It just proves how strange the NFL can be.

3. Pierre Thomas is a fantasy star: With the steady erosion of Deuce McAllister’s career and Reggie Bush being injured and basically becoming a glorified scat back, Thomas has forged to the front of a crowded Saint backfield to post solid numbers. Amazingly, Thomas has the same number of touchdowns (seven) as LaDainian Tomlinson.

4. December and Tony Romo are not friends: During his two years and change as a starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, Romo’s Decembers live a little to be desired. After another winter meltdown against Pittsburgh, he has thrown 12 touchdowns and 17 interceptions in games played in December. His play is likely to end your fantasy season.

5. Get ready to jump off that Jet bandwagon: Following a great performance against the Titans, the New York Bretts laid two straight eggs including a surprising loss to the 49ers. Only Thomas Jones possesses fantasy value of any merit at this point of the season. That Favre fella should already be on your bench.

6. Here’s a rule of thumb for 2009 — leave the Bronco running back situation to the waiver wire: Let’s avoid the headache that will be Denver’s backfield situation during the offseason and wait to see who takes control before jumping to conclusions on who will be the man in the Mile High city. I have a thought. Isn’t it possible that perhaps none of these guys are that good and it’s another example of how Mike Shanahan can’t really evaluate personnel?

7. Operation Shutdown is in full effect in Jacksonville: Besides San Diego, Jacksonville represents the league’s biggest disappointment. Jacksonville’s David Garrard was supposed to utilize the skill set of an athletic group of receivers and breathe new life into the Jaguars’ passing game, while the running game was supposed mow down the opposition again. Neither happened and the Jag offense ranks 21st in the league.

8. Joseph Addai’s value continues to fall: Ranked as high as third at running back by some publications, Addai’s fall has coincided with the struggles of Indy’s offensive line. Addai only cracked the 100-yard mark once and that game represents the only time he surpassed at least 80 yards rushing. Averaging just 3.5 yards per carry, the last hope for Addai to be a big time producer is this Sunday when the Colts host the winless Lions.

9. Keep your eyes on trends down the stretch: Typically, teams that struggled throughout the season finally get it together towards season’s end. This year’s example might be the Houston Texans. With Matt Schaub back in the fold for Houston, its passing game is back in form. Just ask the Green Bay Packers. Always look for those hot teams at season’s end that have guys who are on a roll.

10. Don’t be afraid to gamble in the fantasy playoffs: Names like Tomlinson, Jackson and Moss may not carry you to fantasy glory in 2008. Instead, guys like Pierre Thomas and Antonio Bryant might be the men of the hour. Sometimes, the only way to succeed in the playoffs is by sitting some of the bigger names and going with the lesser known, but more productive commodities.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Drew Brees (1) – It’s going to be awfully cold in Chicago on Thursday night, but Brees has played well, statistically, in his last two visits.

2. Kurt Warner (2) – Unless there is a letdown for ‘Zona, Warner poses a bad matchup for the Vikings.

3. DeAngelo Williams(5) – Speaking of bad matchups, the Broncos best hope that Williams is a bit winded from Monday night.

4. Adrian Peterson (3) – With Tarvaris Jackson back in the lineup, he can expect a bunch of eight man fronts on Sunday.

5. Michael Turner (6) – Tampa’s pride was greatly bruised on Monday night. Don’t be surprised if the Bucs take it out on Turner.

6. Thomas Jones (4) – Jones is the last Jet with any redeeming fantasy value this season.

7. Brian Westbrook (NR) – Six touchdowns in the last two weeks is a surefire way to put you back on this list.

8. Larry Fitzgerald (8) – Another week, another touchdown for Fitz.

9. Anquan Boldin (9) – He’s due for another bust out game.

10. Tony Romo (7) – He’s due for another bad performance in December.

Link of the Week

Years ago, I bought a Saturday Night Live Best of 1983 video. It featured the funniest skit I’d ever seen in my life at the time. After the first couple of viewings, I almost injured myself from laughing so hard. Twenty five years later I’m not sure how well this holds over time considering the litany of gross out humour thrown our way these days, but Buckwheat Buys the Farm is mandatory viewing for any SNL or Eddie Murphy fan from the ’80s. It teaches an important lesson: fear anyone with three names.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/11/two-minute-warning-newport-dreaming/feed/ 1 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/04/two-minute-warning-pk-pm-4eva/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/04/two-minute-warning-pk-pm-4eva/#comments Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:59:49 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2357 Two Minute Warning: PK + PM = LOVE

Let me preface what I’m about to write with the following. I’ve read Peter King’s stuff since I was in middle school and have the utmost respect for him. However, I lost my mind after reading this week’s edition of Monday Morning Quarterback.

In the aforementioned article, King delivered his MVP watch section, chronicling the top five candidates. His top choice? Peyton Manning. The logic proved to be patently absurd coming off a game where the Colts failed to score an offensive touchdown, despite winning 10-6 over Cleveland. Since everyone else went belly up that weekend, it’s only fair to catapult Manning back to the top of the list, King reasoned.

Manning’s stat line on Sunday lacked oomph. He threw for 125 yards and two interceptions. Under no circumstance should his play be extolled for its greatness after a game where by his own admission he was not up to snuff.

What about Albert Haynesworth or Kurt Warner as MVP? My bad. One is a defensive player and the other plays for a team that might not win more than one playoff game. Too boring and, most importantly for King, they aren’t a sacred cow.

For the uninitiated, NFL writers/talking heads seemingly have a list of sacred cows who under no circumstance will they say remotely anything too negative about. Otherwise, they risk banishment and being tarred in mid-town Manhattan near the NFL office. Here are a few examples:

Tom Brady
NFL cheerleaders
Brett Favre
Don Shula
The ’70s Steelers
The 1958 NFL Championship Game
Peyton Manning

Depending on which television network you’re watching, add Andy Reid to this list.

Anyways, the shilling for Manning is erroneous. Granted, he pulled a game or two out of the fire for them this season. However, his play has been just as empty and lackluster as some of his teammates at points this season.

Amazingly, Manning isn’t even the most valuable player on his team. That distinction goes to Texan QB Sage Rosenfels, whose hapless fourth quarter earlier this season against Indy may very well keep Miami and New England out of the playoffs, while the Colts hang around.

King’s pining for Manning is another example of why it takes forever for certain players in this league to be discovered despite how great their numbers might seem. Unless they win, they’re left in the media’s dust not to be discovered unless there is a possibility of their team winning 10 games. Instead, we just get the same stories, same articles, and same concepts from writers continuously. Pardon me while I hit the snooze button and fall back to sleep.

Peter, I dig your stuff but the bromance (that’s right, it’s a new term catching on, roll with it) needs to slow down a bit. It’s time you and Peyton took a break from each other.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 13

1. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg: In one of the leagues I participate in, owners can get an injury signing for players that are going to be out for an extended period of time. One owner asked if he could get a free signing for Plaxico Burress’s “injury.” My response was a curt “no.” Any NFL player who fumbles with his own gun in a club and shoots himself in the process doesn’t deserve the slightest bit of sympathy. By the way, in case you were wondering, he’ll never play for the Giants again.

2. The NFL needs to get its scheduling act together: Sending two west coast teams to Dallas and Philadelphia on short weeks was insanity. Seattle played Washington in Week 12, while Arizona played the World Champs. Having those two teams travel for Thanksgiving games after those games and expecting anything other than what you saw last Thursday was wishful thinking. That’s a poor job by the league.

3. I think Detroit is the worst team I’ve ever seen: The first 10 minutes of the Tennessee/Detroit last game last Thursday ranged from comical to horrifyingly bad. I think most of the ’87 strike teams put forth a better effort than Detroit did last week. This disgusting display forced me to watch Fear starring Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon. On the plus side, the Lions found something they could actually win — they were scarier than this flick.

4. Well, the weather is here: One of the most difficult parts of this time of year is figuring which players will be affected by the weather and how. Quarterbacks draw the biggest debate. The most deadly weather condition for quarterbacks is obviously wind because deep passes are held to a minimum, while other forms of precipitation can have mixed results. Prior to last Sunday’s game between the Jets and Broncos, the forecast predicted “lots of rain” for the Meadowlands. Instead, Jay Cutler threw for over 350 yards. Proceed with caution.

5. Norv Turner is killing the San Diego Chargers: While LT is not the same because of age and the toe injury, and Shawne Merriman is out, under no circumstance should this team be 4-8. Turner’s game mismanagement is damning and his preparation is suspect at best. Coming into the season, they had one of the league’s easiest schedules and should have prospered. Thanks, Norv.

6. Pittsburgh’s defense is a monster: Beware, Tony Romo owners (this means you, too, Jessica). After stonewalling another hot offense, the Steelers will aim to slow down the Cowboys. That pass rush and hard-hitting secondary are a load to deal with.

7. Tom Brady is your quarterback, New Englanders — wake up: Patriot fans called sports talk radio stations suggesting that maybe the team ought to trade Brady and keep Matt Cassel. Umm, no and no.

8. Cross your fingers in Week 15, Drew Brees’ owners: Brees’ biggest flaw this season is his play on the road, which was on display in its harmful capacity in Tampa Bay last Sunday. He’ll face the Bears in Chicago right in prime-time of the fantasy playoffs. Hopefully, the New Orleans’ passing game survives the Windy City.

9. Thomas Jones is going to give fantasy owners a gigantic headache next year: He’s on pace to finish with 1,450 yards and 14 touchdowns. Next season, he’ll be 30 years old, coming off a career year. I can’t wait to laugh at the owners who take him in the second round next season.

10. Don’t be fearful of your players going into enemy territory during the fantasy playoffs: Apparently, home field advantage isn’t as menacing as it once was. Last week, road teams went 11-5.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Drew Brees (2) – He gets the slight nod over Warner because at least Brees had a chance to win his game and nearly posted 300 yards passing. However, his three picks were deadly.

2. Kurt Warner (1) – Warner circa ’02-’06 returned last Thursday night. Turnovers and passes tipped at the line were staples during his career downturn towards the middle of the decade.

3. Adrian Peterson (5) – Peterson is probably going to be the number one pick in ’09, but monitor his carries this season. He’s going to finish awfully close to the 370 mark, which is bad news for the following season.

4. Thomas Jones (10) – Eat it up, Jones owners, you’re not likely to get this performance next season.

5. DeAngelo Williams (NR) – Remember Jonathan Stewart?

6. Michael Turner (7) – Even his old teammates couldn’t slow down Turner. By the way, is it wise for head coach Mike Smith to run his prized off-season acquisition into ground? Turner leads the league in carries.

7. Tony Romo (NR) – His next four games: Steelers, Giants, Ravens and Eagles. Good luck with that, Tony.

8. Larry Fitzgerald (8) – Fitz offered the lone statistical bright spot for Arizona in the Thanksgiving night drubbing by Philly.

9. Anquan Boldin (4) – An uncharacteristic off game for ‘Quan. Expect him to bounce back quickly.

10. Marion Barber (9) – Facing teams that have powerful pass rushes, Barber better have a strong finish to the season or the Cowboys will watch the playoffs from home. However, a dislocated toe will make that difficult.

Link of the Week

I’m not going to assume that FOX Sports will do its job when televising Sunday’s big game from Heinz Field by explaining simple things like franchise history. In honour of the Steelers playing the Cowboys, it’s time to step into the time machine and visit Super Bowl X in 1976. Speed ahead to the 4:25 mark of the video. Before he became a clown on FOX NFL Sunday, Terry Bradshaw could play a little quarterback. On a third and five late in the fourth quarter with the game on the line, Bradshaw handles his business the way a real quarterback should.

Keep in mind after watching the play that he was knocked out of the game and suffered a concussion because of the hit. Under the circumstances, it’s one of the greatest throws in NFL history.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/12/04/two-minute-warning-pk-pm-4eva/feed/ 1 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/28/two-minute-warning-happy-thanksgiving/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/28/two-minute-warning-happy-thanksgiving/#comments Fri, 28 Nov 2008 16:32:24 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2347 Give Thanks You Don’t Reside In San Diego or Philadelphia

Before I get into stealth mode, please enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday in a happy and safe fashion. What a fabulous time of year to eat, eat, and eat some more. I’ll never be happier in my life to see cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes than this weekend.

Two gentlemen who enter the holiday season on unfavourable terms with their rooting public are San Diego head coach Norv Turnerand Philadelphia’s big boss Andy Reid.

Turner leads the underachieving Chargers, considered a pre-season Super Bowl favourite. Dogged by injuries and inconsistency, San Diego heads into the weekend at 4-7. While it’s a massive disappointment, it shouldn’t stand as a big surprise considering that Turner often plays with scared money.

San Diego has lost six games by seven points or less, can’t run with the suddenly mortal LaDainian Tomlinson and can’t defend the pass. All of these issues created the perfect storm Sunday night when the Chargers, trailing 20-17 to Indianapolis, elected to call a timeout and kick a field goal on fourth and two from the Indy 29 with 1:35 left.

When your team is 4-6 and you’re down at home by three against Peyton Manning, under no circumstance can you call a timeout and then not go for it. Kicking a field goal is a bad call because the ball goes back to a guy who the defense didn’t stop in the second half with over a minute left. Turner was scared to lose and didn’t play to win. In fact, he might as well have tattooed “I’m playing to lose” across his forehead.

It’s not the first go around for Norv at Conservative Coaches ‘R Us. Flashing back to last season’s AFC title game against the Pats, down 21-12, Turner elected to punt on a fourth and 10 from New England’s 36 with 9:21 left in the game.

That ranks as one of the poorest coaching decisions in recent post-season memory for two reasons. First, San Diego was playing the highest scoring team in league history on the road, down by two scores; secondly, it didn’t get the ball back after the punt.

There are certain coaches in this league that will never win it all because they are fatally flawed from a tactical standpoint. Turner is one and another is his brother in arms in Philadelphia, Reid.

The portly Eagle leader has become stale and delusional in his 10th year at the helm. Residing in one of the country’s most sleep deprived cities, it appears Reid has fallen asleep at the wheel of an old, beat up Chevy. Years of mediocre drafts and bad playcalling have finally caught up to the Eagles. One can only play Dave Campo, Jim Fassel and Steve Spurrier so many times before the cycles change and the NFC East catches up.

Reid’s frontman, quarterback Donovan McNabb, is past his prime and is physically eroding. Thursday night’s game notwithstanding, his play over the last few weeks in particular, bordered between poor and embarrassing; after being benched in favour of Kevin Kolb last week, it’s pretty clear the McNabb era is nearing an end.

Just in case that doesn’t do it for you, just remember Reid couldn’t even muster the courage to let the guy he drafted back in 1999 know that he was being benched. Reid’s gutless act is the exclamation point on a run that must end.

Reid and McNabb will likely be remembered for horribly mismanaging the final 5:40 of Super Bowl XXXIX. Their legacy is one of failing to take risks, not knowing the rules (ties do indeed exist, Donovan), pickle juice and vomiting during games. Ten years without a Super Bowl victory is long enough. The time for a divorce is here.

Let this be a life lesson, everyone. Those who are afraid to be risk takers don’t take home the ultimate prize.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 12

1. Beware of Tennessee Titans down the stretch: Chris Johnson and LenDale White petered out again last week versus the Jets. Once they polish off the Lions, be careful. As the fantasy playoffs approach, dead weight needs to go to the bench.

2. Drew Brees is locked in: Brees has nine straight games with at least one 40-yard plus pass play and is on target to surpass Dan Marino’s NFL record 5,084 yards passing set in 1984.

3. Terrell Owens’ outburst may be an aberration: The Cowboys finish up their regular season with a very difficult set of games. After Thanksgiving’s tilt against Seattle, the Cowboys face Pittsburgh, New York, Baltimore and Philadelphia. T.O.’s big day against San Francisco is likely to be one of his last this season.

4. Aaron Rodgers is going to steal money next season: Since Rodgers got a new contract, the Packers are under .500 and his play has dipped. Green Bay has dropped three of four and Rodgers has thrown four interceptions in the last three games.

5. LaDainian Tomlinson’s 2009 draft value is sinking with each passing week: Mock drafts for next season are beginning to pop up and Tomlinson is still a first rounder. I’m not exactly sure why. When runners decline at that age, they don’t return to elite status. He might perform better than this season but he is second round fodder at this point.

6. LeBron James is going to be a free agent after the 2009-10 NBA season: Every other sports outlet has a note about this. I figured what’s one more?

7. Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall are missing in action — again: Over the last eight quarters, Cutler has thrown just one touchdown pass and was shut out from the endzone the first time all season Sunday against Oakland. Meanwhile, Marshall’s descent continues. He has just one touchdown since Week Two and just two 100-yard receiving performances (his first two games). Cutler can’t approach his early season effectiveness if Marshall struggles.

8. Donovan McNabb will wear a different uniform next season: Scheduled to make over $10 million next season, it’s unlikely McNabb returns to the team. Someone will be held accountable for the Eagles not making the playoffs. San Francisco, Minnesota and Detroit are likely to be in the market for a quarterback in the offseason. Mac 5 needs a change of scenery and he may very well get that opportunity.

9. Adrian Peterson is an unhappy customer: Reportedly, Peterson missed time for disciplinary reasons against Jacksonville. It seems he’s a bit more agitated this season. On second thought, if my head coach was Brad Childress and I took handoffs from Gus Frerotte and Tarvaris Jackson, I wouldn’t be happy either.

10. Week 12 was the highest scoring week in NFL history: By week’s end, the Week 12 games combined to amass 837 points. With some dreadful defenses in St. Louis, Detroit and Kansas City don’t be surprised if that trend continues.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Kurt Warner (1) – The Giant defense contained Warner and limited run after catch which is huge versus ‘Zona.

2. Drew Brees (2) – If you’re a Brees’ owner, the Saints’ lack of running game is great. It just gives him more cracks at opposing secondaries.

3. Clinton Portis (5) – After an off week against Dallas, Portis was back in business in the Pacific Northwest.

4. Anquan Boldin (4) – New York would not allow him to shake free after the catch, but he still found the endzone.

5. Adrian Peterson (3) – He’s still missing that game this season.

6. Frank Gore (6) – A bad performance in Dallas will hopefully be erased against Buffalo.

7. Michael Turner (8) – Looks like the Chargers may have kept the wrong guy.

8. Larry Fitzgerald (7) – An ‘09 mock draft had Fitzgerald in front of Boldin. Enough, people!

9. Marion Barber (9) – If Dallas is to go anywhere this season, Barber must produce.

10. Thomas Jones (NR) – I’m stunned he’s actually here. However, a tip of the cap should go the Jets’ sterling offensive line.

Link of the Week

Athletes and singing is typically a lose-lose proposition. That’s especially the case when the song is entitled “Ram It.” The Los Angeles Rams decided to put together a musical ditty in the mid ’80s. The results were in a word, horrifying.

Not to be outdone, the other Los Angeles tenant (at the time, of course) decided to put together a song too. It’s more proof that Al Davis didn’t just start losing his mind five years ago.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/28/two-minute-warning-happy-thanksgiving/feed/ 4 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/21/two-minute-warning-air-coryell-gsot-superfreak-and-friends-part-ii/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/21/two-minute-warning-air-coryell-gsot-superfreak-and-friends-part-ii/#comments Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:34:34 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2337 Editor’s Note: Apparently, Derek has gone mad this week, dividing his already lengthy column into two parts this week. Part I can be found here.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 11

1. The Steelers/Chargers finish likely cost fantasy owners: “The illegal forward pass” at the end of the Steelers/Chargers game not only cost people a ton of money in Las Vegas, but also may short circuited a few owners of the Steeler defense, who could have used the last second touchdown.

2. The weather has arrived to the northeast: If you own Donovan McNabb, Eli Manning, or Ben Roethlisberger, it’s time to start looking towards your backups. Monitor the weather conditions and proceed with care. Despite “Ben” going for over 300 yards in the snow, driving winds and precipitation doesn’t tend to lead to fantasy glory.

3. NFL officiating stinks: Perhaps it’s something in the water, but NFL officiating is in a bit of a slump this season. Whether it’s Scott Greene or Ed Hoculi, these guys seem extremely lost at times.

4. The Giants have the best team in the NFL, but…: They have perhaps the most famous game manager in league history in Eli Manning, the trio of Earth, Wind & Fire at running back and Plaxico Burress, who hasn’t eclipsed over 80 yards since Week Two. The world champs are great, but the team itself has little fantasy value right now.

5. Don’t trust a guy with one good hand: Tony Romo still looks a bit shaky. Some of his swing passes to Marion Barber had a bit too much float on them Sunday night. He’s not back to peak form quite yet.

6. Matt Cassel is going to be a rich man: San Francisco, Seattle, Minnesota, and the NY Jets (maybe) all will have question marks at quarterback next season. If Cassel ends the season in relatively strong fashion and lands the Pats in the playoffs, he’ll end up making close to $9 million a year. Sounds crazy doesn’t it?

7. Brian Westbrook owners are in deep trouble: Westbrook is suffering from a sore knee and bad ribs. He clearly is not right. Approaching fantasy playoff time, other options might be a better idea.

8. The Colts will go as far as Joseph Addai takes them: When the Colts run the football, they are a Super Bowl contender. Against Houston, Addai finally went over 100 yards for the first time this season and the Colts have a cake schedule down the stretch. Addai could be a late season star.

9. Speaking of the Colts, be sure to monitor Bob Sanders’ game time status every week: Steve Slaton partied like it was 1999 with Sanders out of the lineup. Slaton ran for 156 yards including a 71-yard jaunt.

10. Thomas Jones leads the AFC in rushing…no, seriously, he does: Jones scored again Thursday night and now has an AFC-best 854 yards rushing. My partner in crime Andy Goldstein calls him the most boring back in football. He still is a snorefest, but he has led the Jets to first place in the AFC East.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Kurt Warner (1) – The beat goes on for Warner and the Cards. Remember when he backed Eli? That seems like a lifetime ago.

2. Drew Brees (2) – Pretty soon the Saints will need to put a call into ex-Saint Dalton Hilliard to take handoffs.

3. Adrian Peterson (3) – He’s very testy these days. Would you like playing for the Viking coaching staff? Didn’t think so.

4. Anquan Boldin (5) – The man is a machine. My ultimate dream is for Boldin and Warner to share the MVP.

5. Clinton Portis (4) – Slowing down are we?

6. Frank Gore (7) – Thankfully he didn’t fall down in front of the goalline this week.

7. Larry Fitzgerald (NR) – Check out this week’s Sports Illustrated for a write-up on Boldin and Fitzgerald. Took them long enough.

8. Marion Barber (NR) – He’s the real meat and potatoes of the Dallas offense.

9. Michael Turner (NR) – He has cooled after the hot start, but is still finding the endzone.

10. Calvin Johnson (9) – He’s saddled with Daunte Culpepper and a tough schedule as of late.

Link of the Week

Honestly, I don’t like soccer. I think it’s boring, except for the World Cup which is actually somewhat enjoyable.

However, there is a brand of soccer I can get behind…the RoboCup 2008 final. That’s right, nothing says soccer quite like robots playing for a championship.

Next Week: Donovan McNabb asked that the tie issue go away. Well, Donovan, please don’t read my column next week.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/21/two-minute-warning-air-coryell-gsot-superfreak-and-friends-part-ii/feed/ 6 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/20/two-minute-warning-air-coryell-gsot-superfreak-and-friends-part-i/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/20/two-minute-warning-air-coryell-gsot-superfreak-and-friends-part-i/#comments Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:46:52 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2336 Five for the Ages

After being distracted by my own fantasy nightmares, it’s time to reveal the five most important fantasy teams of all-time. We’ll count backwards to build the drama.

5. 2007 New England Patriots

Record: 16-0, lost Super Bowl XLII
Points Scored: 589 (NFL record)
Fantasy Studs: Tom Brady (4,806 yards, 50 TDs, eight INTs), Randy Moss (98 catches, 1,493 yards, 23 TDs), Wes Welker (112 catches, 1,175 yards, eight TDs)

Key Belichickian Moments of the Season

• Following their 38-7 win over the Jets, the Patriots were fined by the league for videotaping New York’s defensive signals. Jet head coach Eric Mangini blew the whistle on his mentor, Bill Belichick, not only uncovering a scandal but distracting the nation from one of the storylines in the game — that his team stunk.
• In a showdown of 5-0 teams, the Pats pasted the Cowboys 48-27. Brady’s five touchdown passes propelled New England to a 41-27 lead. Feeling that a 14-point lead wasn’t safe with less than 30 seconds left, reserve fullback Kyle Eckel scored from one yard out to cap the scoring.
• With Miami trailing at home 42-14, Belichick pulled Brady at the start of the fourth quarter so he could give Matt Cassel some game reps. In his first series, Cassel threw an interception, which was returned for a touchdown. Upset at the back-up quarterback’s performance, Belichick put Brady back in for the following series which culminated with Tom Terrific’s sixth touchdown pass of the afternoon in a 49-28 victory.
• In the season’s most hyped regular season contest, the Patriots faced a critical third and six from the Indy 42 up 24-20. Brady completed a 10-yard pass to Welker, who after making the reception proceeded to tell the defensive back covering him that he !$#&#*% sucked. What a sweetheart.
• Oh yeah, they went 16-0 and set copious amounts of NFL records.

Negatives:

• After their 56-10 drubbing over Buffalo, the Pat offense stalled once the weather got colder which led to the defining fantasy moment of the season for many Brady and Moss owners. Freezing conditions and heavy winds in Foxborough slowed down the Pat offense in a 20-10 victory over the Jets in Week 15. Brady did not throw a touchdown pass for the only time during the season. While Moss was held without a score, prompting Brady and Moss owners to go into shock.
• In their greatest hour of need in February, they failed, thus giving another year of airtime to loud-mouthed Mercury Morris, Don Shula and the rest of the terminally bitter ’72 Dolphins.

Summary: Perhaps this is an example of what happens when bad karma takes hold. A win over the Giants in the Super Bowl would have landed them at best the number two spot. Yet, due to the Week 15 debacle and the potential one year phenomenon factor due to Brady’s injury, the ’07 Pats start the countdown at No. 5.

4. 1998 Minnesota Vikings

Record: 15-1, lost NFC Title Game
Points Scored: 556 (at the time an NFL record)
Fantasy Studs: Randall Cunningham (3,704 yards, 34 TDs, 10 INTs), Robert Smith (1,187 yards rushing, eight total TDs), Leroy Hoard (479 yards rushing, 10 TDs), Randy Moss (69 catches, 1,313 yards, 17 TDs) Cris Carter (78 catches, 1,011 yards, 12 TDs)

Top Superfreakian Moments of the Season:

• Quarterback Brad Johnson broke his leg in Week Two versus the Rams, which led to Cunningham stepping in and helping the Vikings destroy team and league records.
• Dubbed the “Superfreak,” Moss slaughtered cornerbacks in his rookie season. His first high profile victim proved to be the Green Bay Packers on Monday Night Football. In his first trip to Lambeau Field, Moss caught five passes for 190 yards and two touchdowns.
• Thanksgiving Day in Dallas saw Cunningham throw for 359 yards and four touchdowns including three to Moss, who racked up 163 yards receiving on three catches.

Negatives:

• Gary Anderson received 35 field goal opportunities during the regular season. Since the offense’s passing game typically was built on the home run ball to Moss, they weren’t great at manufacturing touchdowns with long drives via the running game. Hence, Anderson got his fair share of opportunities. He hit on all of them in 1998. Well, there was that minor issue in the NFC title game. Whoops.

Summary: The Vikings fielded one of the best receiving trios in league history (Moss, Carter and Jake Reed) and possessed a respectable running game with the steady Robert Smith. It’s interesting that Moss played on the two highest scoring teams in league history but still failed to win a Super Bowl so far. However, his arrival on the NFL scene allowed Minnesota to become one of the league’s most potent offenses over the next six seasons and become a whipping boy for Joe Buck.

3. 1990 Buffalo Bills

Record: 13-3, lost Super Bowl XXV, wide right.
Points Scored: 428
Fantasy Studs: Jim Kelly (2,829 yards, 24 TDs, nine INTs), Thurman Thomas (1,297 yards rushing, 49 catches, 532 yards receiving, 13 total TDs), Andre Reed (945 yards receiving, eight TDs)

Top Levyian Moments of the Season:

• Due to inclement conditions often present in Buffalo, the Bills leaned on the running game quite often. This was on display in Week 11 when they defeated New England 14-0. Thomas ran for 165 yards and two scores including an 80-yard touchdown.
• The blitz-happy Eagles were torched by the Bills in the first half and fell behind 24-0. Kelly threw for 334 yards and three scores while James Lofton caught five balls 174 yards and a touchdown as Buffalo went on to win 30-23. Not bad for the team’s number two receiver.
• Buffalo was at its best during its two post-season dates, outscoring Miami 44-34 in the snow and then crucifying the Raiders 51-3 in the AFC Championship game. In both games, Kelly had at least 300 yards passing, Thomas ran for 100 yards and Lofton went over 100 yards receiving. That trio was a menace.

Negatives:

• Playing in Buffalo isn’t necessarily conducive to putting up points, but the Bills still managed to be one of the best offenses of all-time.
• I’m not a fan of the no-huddle attack. The Bills’ offensive possessions were so short that it kept the defense on the field way too long. No further proof is needed of that than watching Super Bowls XXV and XXVIII when Darryl Talley and Cornelius Bennett looked like they were going to keel over during the second half.
• Scott Norwood, blah, blah, blah. We know. I’m going with a different angle with the Super Bowl XXV loss. How about the Bills’ defense in that game? They allowed the Giants’ back-up quarterback, Jeff Hostetler, to continuously convert third downs, got ran over by senior citizen running back, O.J. Anderson, and allowed the Giants to keep the ball for over 40 minutes.

Summary: This was the start of Buffalo’s run to four straight Super Bowls and while this may not have been the best Bills’ offense statistically, it was their best of the four Super Bowl teams. Soon, opponents caught on and the Bills laboured each season to get to the big game. They get extra brownie points for having Hall of Famers at quarterback, running back, receiver and head coach. Plus, the no-huddle offense was revolutionary, albeit, a bit of a copycat job by the Bills, as we’ve discussed in the past.

2. 1981 San Diego Chargers

Record: 10-6, lost in the AFC title game
Points Scored: 478
Fantasy Studs: Dan Fouts (4,802 yards, 33 TDs, 17 INTs), Chuck Muncie (1,144 yards rushing, 19 TDs), Kellen Winslow (88 catches, 1,075 yards, 10 TDs), Charlie Joiner (1,188 yards, seven TDs)

Top Coryellian Moments of the Season:

• After being ousted from the playoffs at home the previous two seasons, head coach Don Coryell and the Chargers put the league on notice by beating down the Browns 44-14 on the road. Fouts tossed three touchdowns and threw for 330 yards; while Muncie ran for 161 yards and a touchdown.
• As a part of Fouts’ 295-yard, six-touchdown performance in a 55-21 win over the Raiders, Winslow caught 13 passes for 144 yards and five touchdowns. That doesn’t quite make up for losing the ’80 AFC title game to the Raiders, but it was a good start.
• In the fabled AFC Divisional playoff game at Miami, Fouts riddled the Miami defense for 433 yards and three touchdowns. Three receivers (Winslow, Joiner and Wes Chandler) all went over 100 yards receiving. Meanwhile, Muncie rumbled for 120 yards and a touchdown. Nothing like 572 yards to cleanse the soul.

Negatives:

• Turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. The Chargers turned over the ball 40 times during the season and that put them in bad spots occasionally.
• Their offense was somewhat aided by the defense being so atrocious. Defensively, they ranked second to last in yardage allowed and 26th in points allowed.

Summary: This is the offense that got the passing party started in my opinion. When the league changed the rules to help the passing game in the late ’70s, two of the primary beneficiaries were the Steelers (who won two more Super Bowls with a pair of Hall of Fame receivers) and the Chargers, who possessed an army of weapons. Coryell’s high-flying offense helped inspire a young fellow by name of Mike Martz, who served as the offensive coordinator for our choice at number one.

1. 1999 St. Louis Rams

Record: 13-3, won Super Bowl XXXIV
Points Scored: 526
Fantasy Studs: Kurt Warner (4,353 yards, 41 TDs, 13 INTS), Marshall Faulk (1,381 yards rushing, 87 receptions, 1,048 yards receiving, 12 total TDs), Isaac Bruce (1,165 yards, 12 TDs), Az Hakim (677 yards, eight TDs), Torry Holt (788 yards, six TDs)

Top Vermeilian Moments of the Season:

• Charger safety Rodney Harrison fell into quarterback Trent Green’s knee during a pre-season game, resulting in a season-ending injury to Green. Green, who had just signed a lucrative deal with the team, had to watch the Rams’ season potentially go up in smoke as a supermarket stock boy took over at quarterback.
• It was soon discovered that this Kurt Warner lad could play a little bit. He threw at least three touchdown passes in his first four starts including a five-touchdown day against St. Louis’ hated rival, San Francisco. To boot, Warner threw for 323 yards in the 42-20 victory.
• The Rams weren’t just all about Warner in ’99. Faulk, who was acquired in an off-season trade with the Colts, powered the running game. He totaled over 2,000 yards in offense, eclipsing the 1,000-yard mark in both rushing and receiving. Take your pick from Faulk’s best work in ’99. A fan of his 18-carry, 181-yard performance against defending conference champion Atlanta? How about his 12-catch, 204-yard effort against the Bears in Week 16?
• As if that wasn’t enough, Bruce paced the receivers. Just ask the 49ers, who allowed him to catch five passes for 134 yards. Four of those receptions that afternoon were touchdowns. Ouch. Bruce served as a mentor to his understudies, the electrifying Hakim and rookie receiver Holt.

Negatives:

• I’ll have to get back to you on that one. Remember, they are only team on this list that actually won the Super Bowl.
• On second thought, maybe I’ll criticize their defense and special teams which combined to score 10 touchdowns. Maybe they should have scored 11? Oh well, I tried.

Summary: To illustrate just how menacing the Rams were, keep this stat in mind. From 1978 to 2001, only 11 teams averaged at least 8.5 yards per pass attempt. Three of those teams were the ’99-’01 Rams. The 2000 version averaged a league record 9.3 yards per pass, while the ’99 version averaged the lowest total of those three teams at 8.6 per attempt.

The most refreshing thing about the ’99 Rams was the consistency they brought on a weekly basis and the fact that they beat you without trying to steal your soul in the process — something that became an issue with Martz when he took over for Vermeil and, of course, in New England with the aforementioned ’07 Patriots. Sure, the ‘99 Rams had an off game here or there, but they buried the competition. Also, they managed to beat teams in a variety of ways. They even managed to beat two street fighting teams, Tampa Bay and Tennessee, in consecutive weeks to win the Super Bowl.

The success of St. Louis in 1999 started the Greatest Show on Turf era as the Rams went on to dominate offensively over the next two seasons until injuries and off the field bickering with management ran Warner out of town.

Regardless, that’s an era of football that we may never see the likes of again.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/20/two-minute-warning-air-coryell-gsot-superfreak-and-friends-part-i/feed/ 3 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/13/two-minute-warning-the-hy-vee-is-open/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/13/two-minute-warning-the-hy-vee-is-open/#comments Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:46:23 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2329 Sacrificed at Altar of Kurtis Eugene Warner

Imagine living in Iowa back in the mid-’90s, and you’re walking around in a local grocery store called Hy-Vee around 10:30 p.m. local time. While on the way to pick up some milk and orange juice, you walk past the canned foods section and notice a rather tall gentleman, maybe around 6′2″, making sure that the shelves are stocked with beets, corn and string beans.

You don’t pay him much mind at all except for a glancing thought of “wow, this guy’s life must suck.” Little did you know, that after leaving the store, that random dude piling up the butter beans would go on to become a two-time NFL MVP, Super Bowl XXXIV MVP and a fantasy football deity.

Kurt Warner, who is in the process of resuscitating another lowly franchise, is enjoying an MVP season. Lost in the haze of Tom Brady, Tony Romo and Peyton Manning last season was that fact that Warner fired 27 touchdown passes in 14 games. When given an actual opportunity, he is one of the best quarterbacks in the league. Unfortunately though, he was saddled with awful coaches and put in poor situations to succeed, thus his precipitous drop off after a legendary three-year run with the Rams from 1999 to 2001.

Warner managed to survive years of Mike Martz, thumb injuries, being the fall guy for the Eli Manning era, and Dennis Green to reestablish himself as a force in the NFL. At 37, the closing run of his career isn’t just for the Cardinals; it’s for immortality and a spot in the Pro Football Hall of Fame (which he richly deserves, but that’s a whole other argument for another day).

In my fantasy football experience, no quarterback can ruin and create dreams quite like Warner. As a part of the league I run, my team played in three championship games without him from ’95 to ’97 and lost all three. Upon his arrival to my keeper team in ’99, I won three of the next four titles with him either starting or on the roster. Seriously, the man represents the single greatest investment of my lifetime. Occasionally, I dabble in the stock market, but this man’s skill was a true commodity. I paid $2 for him in ’99 and he has won me hundreds. Literally, I own a few extra suits because of this guy.

Sadly though, the great one foiled me on Monday night. Up by 17 points, I faced Warner, while I had Anquan Boldin, the ‘Zona defense, and Frank Gore. Surely, I could hold on to the lead assuming the former Hy-Vee employee didn’t go crazy.

While he tossed three scores (two to Boldin), his 328 yards killed me. By the numbers, he’s the most accurate marksmen in league history and on Monday night, he was every bit the surgeon. Slicing and dicing until the lead evaporated, which it finally did.

However, I didn’t go quietly. I grabbed a three-point lead. With seconds remaining, I was on my way to defeating the league’s defending champion…and then Gore fell down at the two and a half yard line for a loss of one, costing me five points in the process. One ill-fated fourth down run with Michael Robinson later and Warner sunk my team’s battleship in one of the most heart wrenching fantasy losses of all-time. The Gore play cost me, but the yeoman’s work of the Cardinal quarterback laid the foundation for the loss.

Warner giveth and he taketh away.

Ten Things We Learned in Week 10

1. The ‘Niners have no one to blame but themselves for their loss to Arizona: Offensive coordinator Mike Martz blames the spot on the Gore play, but he should be blaming himself for calling a play that allowed Michael Robinson — and not the team’s leading rusher — to carry the ball from the two. Also, perhaps one should criticize Shaun Hill for taking 31 seconds to spike the ball after a first down catch by Jason Hill. Ultimately, the ‘Niners’ attempt at a two-minute drill turned into a bit of a SNAFU.

2. The Eagle defense can’t handle the NFC East at home…or on the road: Philadelphia’s last win over an NFC East team at home was the 2006 NFC Wild Card game against the Giants, a 23-20 triumph. Since that game, the Birds have lost five straight home contests to division foes and are getting pounded this season by their rivals. In three NFC East games in ’08, the Eagles have allowed an average of 33 points.

3. Buffalo is a fraud: After dropping three in a row, the wheels are falling off Dick Jauron’s team. This should not be a surprise considering that Jauron led only one of his teams to a winning record in his eight previous seasons as a head coach. Marshawn Lynch still can’t produce in the running game while quarterback Trent Edwards can’t do it all alone. Meanwhile, when the combo of Matt Cassel and BenJarvus Green-Ellis collaborate on a nine-minute fourth quarter drive, trouble looms for your team.

4. Jeremy Shockey is done: Can we get over Shockey? Drew Brees seems like a level-headed quarterback and he blew up at him Sunday for messing up assignments. Shockey is either injured or inconsistent. I feel like I wrote this weeks ago.

5. Adrian Peterson is back and he’s dragging head coach Brad Childress with him: Heading towards the season’s stretch drive, the Vikings ought to just turn the reins over to Peterson as team leader. He carried the ball 30 times for 192 yards and a touchdown and had to convince Childress to go for it late in the game. They failed to convert, but clearly Peterson’s intensity spilled over and carried the Vikings to a win.

6. This Tyler Thigpen fellow isn’t half bad: Kansas City is going to be a decent team in 2009 and Thigpen could be one of the reasons. Assuming the Chiefs do the right things like jettisoning Larry Johnson and adding a bit more polish to that defense, they might have a gem in Thigpen. He has six touchdown passes in the past three games and the Chiefs are actually competitive in games.

7. With the fantasy playoffs approaching, target bad teams: The Rams, Lions, 49ers, Texans, Broncos, Chiefs and Bengals are amongst the worst in the league in points allowed per game. The Rams are the clubhouse leader, allowing 31 points a contest. Don’t be afraid to make a few lineup gambles at season’s end with these miserable defenses on the schedule.

8. Coast-to-coast matchups often yield poor results: It’s been a particularly bad year for teams traveling from coast to coast. Teams traveling from the east coast seem to enjoy slightly more success than their west coast counterparts. Those hailing from the left coast are 0-13 visiting the Eastern Time zone. That trend may continue this week when the Chargers visit the Steelers.

9. Tennessee must provide balance: The Bears started playing nine guys near the line of scrimmage against Tennessee’s lethal running game. The Titans countered with Kerry Collins airing it out and throwing for 289 yards and two touchdowns. As long as Collins can throw like that, it’ll prevent opponents from sending an eighth and ninth defender to the line of scrimmage to protect against the running game. If Tennessee provides run and pass balance, it can only benefit Chris Johnson and LenDale White owners.

10. Jake Delhomme is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Delhomme’s 7-of-27 performance for 72 yards and four interceptions ought to send a cold chill down the spine of Steve Smith owners. Delhomme has been relatively solid for the Panthers this year, but that effort is an eyebrow raiser.

Bad Football R Us Salute of the Week

In this season of bad football teams, it’s time to pay salute to the dregs of the National Football League.

Trailing Jacksonville 38-14, the Lions were called for a holding penalty and allowed two sacks, prompting a fourth and 34 from the Jags’ 42 yard line. After deciding to go for it, Drew Stanton promptly threw a short dump off pass to the tight end that netted 13 yards. That’s why Detroit is on its way to going 0-16.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Kurt Warner (1) – After the Warner Express makes a stop in Seattle in Week 11, the Cards face the Giants and Eagles in a five-day stretch.

2. Drew Brees (3) – The Saint quarterback caused a few fantasy headaches for opponents by throwing a touchdown pass on the game’s final play versus the Falcons.

3. Adrian Peterson (4) – All Day should be ready to roll, but will have to get by Tampa’s defense this weekend.

4. Clinton Portis (2) – Head coach Jim Zorn called him 50/50 versus the Cowboys on Sunday, and if he’s unable to go it would put a big crimp in Washington’s plans.

5. Anquan Boldin (10) – Two more touchdowns by Boldin on Monday night brings his season total to 10. Do I hear Pro Bowl, anyone?

6. Philip Rivers (8) – He’ll face an extremely formidable challenge in the league’s number one defense when the Chargers visit the Steelers on Sunday.

7. Frank Gore (7) – Michael Robinson!?! Michael Robinson?!!?

8. Andre Johnson (5) – His hot streak did not continue against mighty Ray Lewis and the Raven defense.

9. Calvin Johnson (9) – I thoroughly enjoy how Sportsline’s fantasy news update on Johnson typically refers to him as “Megatron.”

10. Brian Westbrook (6) – He says he is not 100 per cent and it definitely showed on Sunday night.

Link of the Week

I’ve been on a real kick lately watching Mike Tyson stuff on YouTube, including his two wild fights with Evander Holyfield back in the late ’90s. However, to catch the true essence of Kid Dynamite, I’ll refer you to his top 10 media moments ever.

There is plenty more outstanding Tyson material online, however you’ll have to become familiar with the letters N.S.F.W. in order to view them. Mr. Tyson is a bit of an angry young man.

Next Week: I said we’d do it this week, but this time I’m serious — we’ll look at the top five most influential fantasy teams of all-time assuming something cataclysmic doesn’t happen to my fantasy team again (or Mike Tyson doesn’t hunt me down and beat the snot out of me).

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/13/two-minute-warning-the-hy-vee-is-open/feed/ 2 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/05/two-minute-warning-my-own-private-broad-street/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/05/two-minute-warning-my-own-private-broad-street/#comments Thu, 06 Nov 2008 03:08:38 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2319
If Bill Simmons is the Boston Sports Guy, is Derek Jones the Philly Sports Guy?

Philadelphia Freedom

Not to go all Bill Simmons on you, but I have to share this last week with people. If you’re a fan of a team that hasn’t won in a long time, I wish you could have experienced the same feeling I got last Wednesday when the Phillies toppled Tampa Bay in five games to win the World Series.

This is not the Yankees, Lakers, Cowboys or the Michael Jordan-era Bulls where winning championships became commonplace. It’s the Phillies. No team in professional sports history has lost as much as the Phils. Last July, while celebrating my birthday, the Phils decided to honour the day by losing the 10,000th game in franchise history.

I never saw October 29, 2008 coming. It seemed like just one big tease akin to 1993 before Joe Carter pulled the rug from underneath Philadelphia. Being a fan of Philly teams over the years breeds a serious case of skepticism; waiting for the worst to happen, refusing to be happy and live in the moment. Instead, we wait in unison for the big anvil to fall out of the sky and collectively smash us in the head.

However, once Tampa Bay couldn’t get out the light-hitting Carlos Ruiz or Eric Bruntlett in critical moments and failed to wear out 46-year-old pitcher Jamie Moyer in Game Three, I knew something special was on the horizon.

After Brad Lidge struck out Eric Hinske for the final out of the ’08 season, I was immediately sprayed in the face with champagne and beer at a Philadelphia bar. Yet, the best was yet to come.

While running down the streets of Philadelphia towards Citizens Bank Park, I kept going into the street to high five and hug random people. My joy continued as I insisted on yelling at towel waving youngsters that they were indeed World Champions like Ryan Howard or Cole Hamels. The party the Philadelphia sports scene has been waiting on for 25 years finally came to fruition.

Sadly, because of a work commitment, I missed the parade and spent Friday in Kansas City, Missouri. It didn’t matter, though. The Phillies were World Champions. Perhaps, the great Chase Utley summed up my feelings best at the parade last Friday when he expressed his unadulterated, uncensored excitement at being number one.

I’m a World Champion and still in full-scale championship afterglow mode — until the Eagles miss the playoffs, that is.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Nine

1. The Redskin Presidential curse sunk the John McCain/Sarah Palin battleship: Over the course of Redskin history, 18 presidential elections occurred. When the Redskins lost their final home game before the election, the Democratic candidate won the presidency. Meanwhile, after a Redskin win, the Republican candidate occupied the White House. With Pittsburgh’s win over Washington Monday night and Barack Obama’s historic leap to the White House, that trend stayed a perfect 18 for 18.

2. Quarterbacks continue to drop like flies: Add Ben Roethlisberger, Dan Orlovsky and Kyle Orton to the list of quarterbacks knocked out last week. Fifteen of the league’s 30 teams have already started at least one back-up quarterback. More often than not, back-up quarterbacks are poison to their respective teams, let alone fantasy football.

3. The Raiders redefined offensive futility: During Sunday’s embarrassing loss to the Falcons, the Raiders managed to hold the ball for just 14:45 and gained 77 yards offensively. If you haven’t done so already, place any Raider on the DNS (do not start) list. Clearly, Lane Kiffin was not the only issue. The Raiders have a rookie runner with a bad case of turf toe and an otherwise underwhelming array of offensive talent. If the Jets miss the playoffs by a game, they’ll rue the day they lost to the Raiders — if they don’t already.

4. The Jacksonville Jaguars are on playoff life support: The NFL is a crazy league. The Jaguars faced a three game run of Cleveland, Cincinnati and Detroit, which should have led to some sort of fantasy prosperity for Jaguar players. Instead, sub par efforts against the Browns and Bengals leave Jacksonville in grave danger of sinking further in the already competitive AFC. Jack Del Rio’s gang must run the football and they haven’t done so consistently. Four times this season, the Jags failed to rush for 100 yards as a team. In those contests, they are 0-4. Last year, they missed the century mark in only three regular season games.

5. Braylon Edwards is among a list of wildly disappointing wide receivers: It’s been a bizarre fantasy season and wide receiver is a perfect example. Edwards leads the league in dropped passes and heads up a disappointing class of receivers including Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, Marques Colston, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Chad Johnson, and Plaxico Burress. Most of the aforementioned lads were considered Top 10 receiver choices during the preseason.

6. LenDale White defies the odds again: In the past three weeks, White has runs of 80 and 54 yards. Believe it or not, despite his gargantuan size, White can scoot a bit. He is aided by one of the league’s best offensive lines to boot. The bad news is that White often gets tired quickly after somewhat lengthy runs, leaving Chris Johnson to grab the glory from time to time.

7. The Packers paid Aaron Rodgers too soon: I don’t understand the Packer front office. Since the Brett Favre fiasco began, they seem to be in land of confusion mode. This trend continued last week when the team extended Rodgers’ contract through 2014 and gave him an extra $12.58 million this season. The extension makes him the fourth highest paid quarterback in the league and will average about $9.5 million over the deal’s duration. His numbers are certainly respectable, but have not made a huge impact. Furthermore, Green Bay is 0-3 in games versus teams over .500. The team’s decision to give him this money after eight games is borderline criminal.

8. Jamaal Charles will take Larry Johnson’s job sometime in the next eight to 10 months: The league suspended Johnson for the Week 10 matchup against San Diego. To add insult to injury, Charles ran for over 100 yards versus Tampa Bay. With Johnson’s baggage and on the field mileage, it’s only a matter of time before the Chiefs get rid of him. At this stage of his career, keeping Johnson around is just not worth it. They may have to eat some dough to do it, but he’s clearly not a team player.

9. You haven’t seen the last of Byron Leftwich playing quarterback this season: Roethlisberger has taken a beating this season as evidenced by him getting knocked out of Monday night’s affair in Washington. Leftwich looked sharp and will see more playing time at some point because it appears that Big Ben’s body is breaking down.

10. Brady Quinn’s rise to stardom will be a slow one: Bringing in a new quarterback with a short week to prepare isn’t an ideal situation for Cleveland. However, Quinn gets the nod when the Browns face the Broncos on Thursday night. Things will not get easier for Quinn after this week. He’ll play four of his next five games against teams (Buffalo, Indy, Tennessee and Philadelphia) that are in the thick of the playoff chase.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Kurt Warner (3) – The Cardinal franchise last played a home playoff game in 1947. If Warner keeps it up, the Cards will get that elusive home playoff tilt.

2. Clinton Portis (1) – Portis was only the third running back in NFL history to have five games of at least five yards per carry and over 120 yards rushing. Pittsburgh’s defense made sure he didn’t make it to a sixth.

3. Drew Brees (2) – The bye might be the only thing to cool him off at this point.

4. Adrian Peterson (4) – He is finally coming around, but faces a challenging three-game stretch starting against Green Bay on Sunday.

5. Andre Johnson (7) – The hottest receiver in the league meets Ray Lewis and friends in Week 10.

6. Brian Westbrook (5) – He often abuses the Giants. Philly will need him big time on Sunday.

7. Frank Gore (6) – Here’s hoping that Gore touches the ball at least 15 times this week.

8. Philip Rivers (8) – Well, if Kansas City has no answer for Jeff Garcia, Rivers should be in store for another big day.

9. Calvin Johnson (9) – He goes from Jon Kitna to Dan Orlovsky to Daunte Culpepper as his quarterback. Next step? Drew Stanton.

10. Anquan Boldin (NR) – Meet the NFL’s leader in touchdown receptions.

Link of the Week

In last week’s TMW, we gave you the Guitar Hero: World Tour spot with Alex Rodriguez, Kobe Bryant, Michael Phelps and Tony Hawk. Well, either that commercial scared people or it’s on some sort of vacation because it’s been replaced by the same concept, but featuring a different celebrity. During Monday Night Football, a new ad appeared with a relatively attractive young lady playing the guitar. You may know her as Heidi Klum.

Next Week: We’ll serve up a look at the five most influential teams in fantasy football history.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/11/05/two-minute-warning-my-own-private-broad-street/feed/ 6 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/30/two-minute-warning-down-on-main-street/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/30/two-minute-warning-down-on-main-street/#comments Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:15:56 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2307 Two weeks prior to Week Eight action, a co-worker of mine invited me to watch the Eagles/Falcons game at her apartment with a group of people. The apartment is dubbed the “Bob Seger Castle.” Why you ask? For no other reason than it is located on Main Street. Sounds like the concoction of people who were drunk at the time. Nonetheless, here’s a running diary of the day’s events.

10:26 a.m.: After going to bed at 4 a.m. in part because of the World Series Game Three’s finish at nearly 2 a.m., I roll out of bed feeling like I’m wearing an anvil on top of my head. As a Phillie fan, I feel like this World Series is taking years off my life. Nonetheless, football time is hours away.

12:30 p.m.: The phone rings. Uh oh, it’s one of the owners from my fantasy league. Upon answering the phone, his wife is actually on the other end. He wants to squeeze a last minute injury signing for Steven Jackson. If he wasn’t attending a christening, he would have found out earlier and been able to act quicker. So, I talk fantasy football with the Mrs. for a few minutes as she details a few last minute line-up changes for her husband. That’s the beauty of fantasy football. Situations like these pop up and it leads to wives getting involved. You can tell their utter disgust at times talking about it. They’d rather hold a discussion on quantum physics.

1:16 p.m.: Soon after arriving and digging into pizza, I settle into Birds/Falcons. Seven of us are in attendance with two being Giant fans, who are waiting around for the heavyweight battle at 4:15 p.m. between the Steelers and G-Men. The capacity for the room is about eight or nine depending who wants to sit on the floor. The worst part of this whole scenario…I’m going to attempt to go wire to wire without looking at a computer for fantasy football scores. See, I left my laptop in the car because I’ve carried it to other places while watching games and people give me a death stare occasionally because it’s considered rude in some circles. While I certainly understand this, it’s the equivalent of putting a man dying of thirst in the middle of a desert with a few water fountains but telling the poor guy that he can’t drink from them. I don’t see how I can survive this.

1:43 p.m.: Mercifully, the scoreless first quarter ends. The Eagle offense has not been on the field much and their two drives ended in punts. Meanwhile, Donovan McNabb’s play at quarterback is forcing me to play the drink card…if you know what I mean.

1:47 p.m.: McNabb is sacked and fumbles. Falcons recover. Will someone please send a memo to the Birds that not only are they Philly’s forgotten team at the moment, but once Phillies hysteria ends people will realize just how ordinary they are?

2:10 p.m.: Rowdy Roddy White scores on a 55-yard touchdown pass from Matt Ryan. Eagle safety Brian Dawkins whiffs on the play. Dawkins, who is one of the all-time greats in Eagle history, took a bad angle on the play and missed White. B-Dawk is done, sadly.

2:26 p.m.: Mc5 culminates a nine play drive with a three-yard touchdown run which is becoming a scarce commodity in his game. To punctuate the score, McNabb does a John Travolta/Saturday Night Fever dance, much to the delight of the two Giant fans in attendance who enjoy his endzone antics. They were a bit disappointed though because they wanted the classic McNabb “Thriller” dance.

2:43 p.m.: The Eagles finally seize control and take the lead into the third quarter. Meanwhile, the hostess busts out green Jell-o shots to celebrate the second half. With a Russian heritage, she prides herself on going heavy with vodka mixed into the shots. Woah, daddy.

2:58 p.m.: My focus on the game is horribly thrown off by one of the most bizarre commercials I’ve ever seen. I immediately think to myself…that’s the Link of the Week, hands down (see below).

3:15 p.m.: The Eagles lead 17-7 and as Brian Westbrook starts slashing and burning the Falcons…my thoughts drift towards Ray starting pitcher Andy Sonnanstine and how he’ll end up throwing some two-hit shutout against the Phils in a few hours. Sorry, it’s the Philly sports fan in me.

3:50 p.m.: Still…no computer usage. I’m almost shaking at this point (and no, it’s not the DTs). In the meantime, someone else there is using their laptop. I should just ask and check the scores shouldn’t I? Ugh, I can hold out for a bit longer.

3:58 p.m.: You know that Save by Zero commercial? I hate it. Third time today I’ve seen it.

4:05 p.m.: The Falcons get screwed by rookie head coach Mike Smith using up all of his challenges. So, he can’t challenge a muffed punt that is recovered by the Eagles. Clearly, a horrible call by the officials. Maybe the umpires from the World Series are actually officiating this game? Anyways, Westbrook puts the Falcons to sleep with a 39-yard touchdown run. Game. Set. Match. 27-14.

Epilogue: I continued my stay at the Castle for the Giants/Steelers tilt, which featured more bad offensive line play by Pittsburgh, watching that Save by Zero commercial another six times, eating a large amount of popcorn and Eli Manning “Eli-ing” the Steelers for a 21-14 win.

About an hour into the Giant game, I crumbled and asked to use a computer only to realize that it was an iMac and the windows kept freezing. Awesome, just awesome. My life is far too dependent on the use of a computer. I need to start socializing with people again.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Eight

1. Clinton Portis is the best player in fantasy football…what?: Considered a late first to second round selection, Portis has flipped the script and proven to be fantasy’s most reliable option in the backfield. He is averaging 118 yards per game and has gained at least 100 yards rushing in the last five games.

2. All of that pre-season Andre Johnson hype was justified: Many fantasy prognosticators expected Johnson to have a big year. Starting out slow, Johnson stepped up to the challenge and is tearing up secondaries. Over the past three games, he has made 32 catches and is the proud recipient of four straight 100-yard receiving games.

3. Roddy White is an elite fantasy football receiver: If I told people before season’s start that Johnson, Santana Moss and White were arguably the three top receivers in fantasy football, they would have looked at me crosseyed. Johnson is certainly believable, Moss is having a bounce back season and then there is the Rowdy one. White owns three straight 100-yard receiving games and has four touchdowns over this stretch. Who knew that White would be a safer play than Terrell Owens or Randy Moss?

4. The Arizona Cardinals can’t win in the Eastern Time zone: Another Eastern Time zone game for the Cards and another failure. This time they blew a two score lead against the Panthers. Their woes have not short circuited the offense, though. Kurt Warner is still firing on all cylinders after another 300-yard passing day. Week Nine sees Warner’s Cards travel out of their time zone again to face his old team, the Rams.

5. Ken Wisenhunt needs to let Tim Hightower start: Can we stop with Edgerrin James now? Hightower plays the role of Leroy Hoard and Tommy Vardell by stealing touchdowns James. However, unlike Hoard and Vardell, Hightower is poised for a starting tailback role. He flashes power and speed, something that left James’ game about five years ago. It’s time for Wisenhunt to make the change.

6. Last week’s game in London featured arguably the top two quarterbacks in fantasy football: Everyone extols the virtues of Drew Brees, but Philip Rivers has played nearly as well. The San Diego signal caller leads the NFL in touchdown passes (19), yards per completion (13.7) and passer rating (107.8). With LaDainian Tomlinson struggling, Rivers finally made the jump from promising young quarterback to one of the league’s big boys.

7. Vernon Davis is a great guy…sort of: Davis taunting a Seahawk defender led to the season’s standout rant from new 49ers head coach Mike Singletary. Watch it. Listen to it. Feel, feel, feel, feel, feel his heat.

8. The Chiefs, Lions, and Bengals will combine to win fewer than five games: This trio of teams has a combined record of 1-21 with Tyler Thigpen, Dan Orlovsky and Ryan Fitzpatrick as their quarterbacks, respectively. Clearly, we are on our way to a bad finish of epic proportions for these three squads.

9. Marshawn Lynch is entering bust territory: It’s a tribute to Bill quarterback Trent Edwards that he has led Buffalo to a 5-2 mark despite Lynch running for 3.7 yards per carry. While Lynch scored six times, he has yet to compile a 100-yard rushing performance this season.

10. BenJarvusBillBelichickMattCassel Green-Ellis could be a touchdown thief: Green-Ellis stepped in for an injured Sammy Morris and could be a goalline threat late in the season if Morris continues to have injury problems. Green-Ellis has two touchdowns this season and has scored in two straight games.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Clinton Portis (3) – He may collapse by season’s end, but he is giving fantasy owners their money’s worth.

2. Drew Brees (2) – Another week, another big stat day for one of the candidates for NFL MVP.

3. Kurt Warner (6) – Speaking of MVP candidates, if the Cardinals go on to make the playoffs, Warner should receive serious consideration for the award. With apologies to Neil Lomax and Jim Hart, isn’t he already one of the greatest quarterbacks in Cardinal history?

4. Adrian Peterson (1) – It’s time for All Day to guide fantasy teams and the Vikings into the playoffs.

5. Brian Westbrook (NR) – Broken ribs were no problem for Westbrook against Atlanta, but it’s an injury that will not go away.

6. Frank Gore (4) – Maybe Singletary’s next rant will be towards offensive coordinator Mike Martz and his use of Gore.

7. Andre Johnson (NR) – Matt Schaub finally looks like a real NFL QB, in part thanks to Johnson.

8. Philip Rivers (NR) – Tomlinson woke up this week, but Rivers still posted solid numbers and remains a reliable option.

9. Calvin Johnson (NR) – It’s too bad he is saddled with Orlovsky. Perhaps help is on the way in the form of Daunte Culpepper.

10. Roddy White (NR) – I cannot believe White is in the Top 10. A big help to any rookie quarterback is a veteran receiver with breakaway capabilities.

Link of the Week

During the Eagles/Falcons game, the makers of Guitar Hero: World Tour unleashed their commercial featuring Michael Phelps, Kobe Bryant, Alex Rodriguez and Tony Hawk. The spot focuses on a spoof of the Tom Cruise/Risky Business scene involving Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock n’ Roll.” It’s simply wild and one of the more stunning commercials, I’ve ever watched.

Next Week: A tribute to Philly fans as I sacrifice myself for a couple of evenings in the City of Brotherly Love during the World Series. Pray for my survival.

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/30/two-minute-warning-down-on-main-street/feed/ 4 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/23/two-minute-warning-ap-wildcat-and-such/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/23/two-minute-warning-ap-wildcat-and-such/#comments Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:01:06 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2291 Here’s to the Winners

As we reach the midway point of the season, it’s time to dish out a few mid-season awards.

The Beatty/Hoffman Ishtar Award (awarded to the best combo providing the least impact): Tony Romo and Terrell Owens – Even before Romo’s pinkie injury, Owens was not having a typical T.O. season. He doesn’t have a 100-yard receiving day to his credit so far and owns just 25 catches through seven games. Averaging three catches per game is not what Owens had in mind this year. Romo tried to get the ball to him but in most cases, Owens is facing double and triple coverage. The combo is not on the same page and with Romo still ailing, it will be difficult for Owens to post numbers similar to his first two seasons with the Dallas.

The Spencer Pratt Award (goes to the most disgruntled player with the best performance): Anquan Boldin – During the preseason, we heard about how angry Boldin was and how he wanted to be traded. He carried that rage with him onto the field at season’s start. Prior to the fractured sinus injury in the Jets game, Boldin was one of fantasy football’s most productive receivers to date. Despite missing two games, he still has more catches and the same amount of touchdowns as the great Owens.

The Audrina Partridge Award (goes to best player saddled with a tremendously lame significant other): Adrian Peterson – Somehow it doesn’t seem fair that Peterson is taking handoffs from Tarvaris Jackson and Gus Frerotte. He just needs someone competent behind centre. The lack of a solid quarterback has prevented him from blasting off in ’08. Nonetheless, he is second in the league in rushing with 684 yards, trailing only Clinton Portis.

The Howard Beale Award (given to the defensive coordinator who refused to let his team get whipped by the Wildcat formation): Rex Ryan – Last Sunday, the Ravens defensive mastermind came up with a game plan that shutdown Miami’s wildcat formation, which is rapidly spreading throughout football. Ryan’s scheme allowed the linebackers and safeties to penetrate gaps quickly and effectively. The Raven defense limited the formation to four yards on five carries.

The Crockett and Tubbs Award (awarded to the best one-two punch at running back): Chris Johnson and LenDale White – The duo bludgeoned the Chiefs in Arrowhead last weekend, and they have shown all season long that they are a dynamic force. White leads the league in rushing touchdowns with eight. Meanwhile, the electrifying Johnson averages 5.3 yards per carry.

Daytona Spyder Memorial Award (given to the player who blew up fantasy seasons across the country): Bernard Pollard – Bernard Karmell Pollard sent shockwaves through the NFL when he crashed into Tom Brady’s left knee, tearing the Super Bowl XXXVI and XXXVIII MVP’s ACL and MCL in the process. Pollard’s accidental hit forced many fantasy owners to ask “so, when do I trade Randy Moss?” The hit affected the value of Brady, Moss and Wes Welker, who will not approach the career highs of last season. While he might be public enemy number one with Patriots fans, sadly, Pollard is adored amongst the Buffalo Bills community.

The Kyra Sedgwick Award (goes to the best closer in fantasy football): Drew Brees – Despite Peterson topping the charts in this week’s power poll (see below), Brees’ impact this season has been sweeping. Even without top receiver Marques Colston, he was on pace to top Dan Marino’s NFL record 5,084 passing yards in a single season prior to Sunday’s loss at Carolina.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Seven

1. Brett Favre as a Jet is bad for fantasy football: Often in football, statistics lie. For example, Favre completes 68 per cent of his passes. Unfortunately, they haven’t counted for much. He averages just 6.8 yards per attempt, which ranks 21st in the league, just a hair in front of guys like Joe Flacco, JaMarcus Russell and Matt Cassel. That’s not going to lead you to fantasy glory come playoff time.

2. The Chicago Bears lead the league in scoring: On the strength of Kyle Orton’s play at quarterback and their ability to feast bad special teams, the Bears have scored a league high 196 points. Only the Cardinals and Giants average more points per game than the Bears.

3. If your players are headed to Carolina, be afraid…very afraid: Not only is Carolina beating teams at home, the opponent gets blown out. After four home games, the Panthers have outscored the opposition 108-33. Road teams have mustered just two offensive touchdowns versus the Panthers. The Cardinals will try to break this trend on Sunday in Charlotte.

4. The Saints are snake bitten: First it was Marques Colston, then Jeremy Shockey, and now Reggie Bush. Injuries have run rampant through the Saints skill position guys and it affected them against Carolina last Sunday. Shockey is already past his prime and Colston failed to make a catch in his return. With Bush out two-to-four weeks with a knee injury, Colston must deliver. Meanwhile, temper your expectations with Shockey. Throughout his career, he’s either been hurt, unhappy or unproductive. Simply put, he’s not a winning football player.

5. You can’t count on LaDainian Tomlinson: LT is slowing down, folks. He has just one 100-yard rushing performance and is averaging a paltry 3.6 yards per carry. His last touchdown? Week Four against Oakland.

6. Steven Jackson is ready for liftoff: Perhaps the best part about Scott Linehan being fired is a return to order in St. Louis. The Ram defense is getting off the field and giving the offense chances to produce and Jackson is the point man on offense. While his yards per carry is not great at 4.2, he has rushed for at least 100 yards in two of his last three games. Linehan’s departure in St. Louis rejuvenated the Rams and Jackson is likely to benefit from this renaissance.

7. The shine is off the Denver offense: After scoring at least 30 points in the first three games, the Broncos posted 19, 16, 17 and seven in their last four. The inconsistency at running back and turnovers have taken the explosiveness away from the Bronco offense.

8. Derek Anderson is not a ready for prime time player: His time as a starter should come to an end. He faltered down the stretch last season and followed up a big win against the Giants with a 14-of-37 clunker for 136 yards and a touchdown. Paging Brady Quinn…

9. Larry Johnson is not a Mensa member: Chiefs’ head coach Herm Edwards deactivated Johnson last week for “violating team rules.” As it turns out, not only is LJ going to sit out another week potentially, he apparently feels the need to miss team meetings, refuse to come out of games and allegedly spit on a woman. What a team player.

10. The Kansas City Chiefs run defense is bad…historically bad: After allowing 332 yards rushing to the Titans, the 2008 Chiefs have now allowed two of the top five team ground performances on the road in the last 20 years. Oakland tallied 300 yards back in a Week Two visit.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses.

1. Adrian Peterson (4) – AP is alive and kicking after running for 121 yards and two scores versus Chicago on Sunday.

2. Drew Brees (1) – Carolina’s defense kept him out of the endzone, but Brees takes the New Orleans air attack to London to take on a mediocre Charger secondary.

3. Clinton Portis (2) – If Portis continues on his current pace, he’ll reach the dreaded number of 370 carries, which typically spells doom for the following season.

4. Frank Gore (3) – Mike Martz needs to get the ball into Gore’s hands. He had just 14 touches (11 rushes) against the Giants.

5. Michael Turner (5) – He’ll head back on the road on Sunday, where he has struggled thus far.

6. Kurt Warner (6) – Anquan Boldin returns to the fold for the Cardinal offense at a good time, facing one of the league’s stingiest defenses.

7. Reggie Bush (7) – Ironically, in a game where flashes ability to run the ball, he suffers a knee injury that will keep him out two-to-four weeks. Luckily for him, Kim Kardashian will help heal his wounds. Mmmm….Kim Kardashian. Bootylicious.

8. Steven Jackson (NR) – He’s scored four times in the past three games. Finally, Jackson is living up to his draft day value.

9. Peyton Manning (7) – As evidenced by Sunday’s output in Green Bay, the one-dimensional Colts are not as potent without a running game.

10. Marion Barber (NR) – With Romo out, all of the pressure falls on Barber’s shoulders to produce.

Link of the Week

Yet again, I can’t deprive the public by providing just one link. I’ve been in television heaven over the past week. With the Phillies participating in the World Series for the first time in 15 years and the best episode ever of How I Met Your Mother, it’s been a hit parade.

However, last week’s Saturday Night Live produced true gems. Amy Poehler performed a rap song while Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin sat nearby for the musical ditty. The best component of the skit is how Poehler maneuvers while being pregnant. This is one of the performances of the year. She’s a lead candidate for TV MVP thus far.

An honorable mention goes to the MacGruber bits, which take a MacGyver-like character and gives him severe economic problems, which eventually lead him to shooting heroin. Thus, all of his gadgets make him susceptible to a lack of cash flow. In my opinion, it’s one of the funniest skits on SNL in years.

Next week, get ready for a Two Minute Warning first. It’s the first ever TMW diary, as I endure a day of NFL games at a place called the Bob Seger Castle (seriously) followed by Game 4 of the World Series. I’ll be putting the “Night Moves” on there, for sure!

]]> http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/23/two-minute-warning-ap-wildcat-and-such/feed/ 1 http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/16/two-minute-warning-the-copycats/ http://www.rotorob.com/2008/10/16/two-minute-warning-the-copycats/#comments Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:30:46 +0000 Derek Jones http://www.rotorob.com/?p=2274 For Those About to Copy, We Salute You

Sometimes, I worry about head coaches. No, not necessarily NFL coaches, but just in general. Two weeks ago, while announcing a Division III college football game, during a critical two-point conversion try with the score 30-20, I witnessed the trailing home team trotting out the wildcat formation.

I wanted to scream. Now, the formation’s origin goes further back than a couple of weeks ago in Foxborough, Massachusetts. Yet, there is a time and place for a play like that. Certainly, trying to make the game a one possession contest midway through the fourth quarter is not the time.

The play called for the back-up tailback to line up in the direct snap position and then throw a pass into the endzone. Seriously? Your back-up tailback who hasn’t attempted a pass all season long? Folks, when these formations become popular, they pop up everywhere. For example, the Falcons already have slowly implemented it into their offense.

It’s troubling and sometimes proves that coaches are incapable of coming up with their own nifty ideas, instead solely intent on stealing and coming up with variations to call their own.

A classic example of this occurred back in 1988 when the Bengals used the no-huddle offense en route to making it to Super Bowl XXIII before falling to Joe Montana and the 49ers. To counter this unusual style of offense, defensive players began faking injuries to try to offset Boomer Esiason’s fast pace offense.

Perhaps the most vociferous opponent against the no-huddle offense was former Buffalo Bills head coach Marv Levy. Prior to playing Cincy in the AFC Title game that season, he implied that the Bengals operated outside of the realm of good sportsmanship by utilizing such an offense.

The Bills lost to the Bengals 21-10. During the ’89 playoffs, while falling behind to Cleveland, Buffalo trotted out the no-huddle offense to stage a comeback which barely fell short, 34-30.

Prior to the start of the ’90 season, Levy and offensive coordinator Ted Marchibroda decided to incorporate the no-huddle to start games. Four Super Bowl appearances later, the Bills were considered the inventors of the famed no-huddle; in reality, not so much.

When it comes to ideas in the NFL, there is no honour amongst this group of thieves.

Jersey Law Part II

As a part of last week’s TMW, we covered Jersey Laws that should be enacted to prevent people from essentially making bad life choices. After attending Game One of the National League Championship Series between the Dodgers and Phillies, I stumbled across another key law that needs to be added to the list:

No jersey should have your name or nicknames on the back.

Soon after the game started, a drunken fan fell into his seat wearing a Phillies jersey with the number three. Instead of paying tribute to deposed ex-Phils skipper and ranter extraordinaire Lee Elia, the name on the back read “JUICE.” His main contribution to the evening was yelling to Manny Ramirez in left field “GO BACK TO BOSTON!” This comment drew groans from the crowd, hoping he’d sit down and shut his trap. At least he didn’t throw any batteries.

I’d like to step into a time machine and be the quarterback of the Eagles, but you know what? It’s never going to happen. Putting your name or a nickname on the back of any sports jersey reeks of desperation and ultimately, makes you the sad 35-year-old who repeatedly talks to his boys about the glory days of when he played first base for the high school baseball team.

Ten Things We Learned in Week Six

1. Brad Johnson’s fantasy value has reached its highest point in five years: Dallas quarterback Tony Romo is set to miss four weeks with a broken pinky finger on his throwing hand. Enter the ancient Johnson, who’ll be entrusted with the Cowboy offense, which has been up and down lately. Fantasy owners have been busy claiming Johnson off waiver wires in part because of the addition of receiver Roy Williams from Detroit. Be careful, though. Since Johnson’s mobility is similar to a brick, offensive coordinator Jason Garrett should lean on Marion Barber a bit more.

2. Back-up quarterbacks are becoming the kryptonite of fantasy owners everywhere: Six of the top 10 passing offenses from last season have different quarterbacks under centre. The Patriots, Packers, Cowboys, Bengals, Seahawks and Lions are without their starters from 2007. Matt Cassel, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Charlie Frye and Dan Orlovsky have shown that they may be better suited playing flag football than starting for NFL teams. In turn, the aforementioned back-up quarterbacks murder the fantasy value of guys like Randy Moss, Chad Johnson, T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Calvin Johnson.

3. Peyton Manning and the Colts are back…sort of: Indianapolis is literally two plays away from being 0-4 this season. Yet, when a team has the Colts down, a stake straight through the heart is sufficient. Baltimore fell at the alter of Peyton in Indy last Sunday as Manning racked up 271 yards and three touchdowns. Does it mean the Colt offense is back for good? Not quite. Indy’s biggest problem remains a weak running game. The Colts rank last in the league on the ground, averaging just 69 yards per game. Until they get that rectified, they will not quite return to the level of previous seasons.

4. The wildcat formation runs wild again: Memo to all teams: If you see a quarterback lining up wide, it’s going to lead to him throwing a pass down the road. The Dolphins, who have used the wildcat formation in three games, lined up Chad Pennington on the outside. Houston, not ready for such an arcane concept, allowed Miami to toss to Pennington, who flicked a 53-yard touchdown pass to Patrick Cobbs.

5. Drew Brees might break Dan Marino’s single season record for passing yardage: Brees threw for 320 yards and is poised to finish as statistically, the league’s top quarterback. He’s on pace to throw for 5,313 yards, which would top Marino’s 5,084 yards in 1984.

6. The Arizona Cardinals are for real…but only in the desert: Under head coach Ken Wisenhunt, the Cardinals are 9-2 at home including their heart-stopping win over Dallas last Sunday. Their team is a bit more efficient at home than, say, on the road where they gave up 56 points and six touchdown passes to Brett Favre’s Jets.

7. JaMarcus Russell and Tom Cable are not resuscitating memories of Ken Stabler and John Madden: With or without Lane Kiffin, the Raiders are still awful. After Sunday’s loss to New Orleans, Cable’s lifetime record as a head coach (any level) is 11-36. Meanwhile, Russell cranked out a 13-of-35 effort for 159 yards and an interception. While the Raiders will look for a new coach next season, a new quarterback wouldn’t hurt either.

8. Speaking of Madden, he hates cross country trips: Let me get this straight. Madden, who spends most of his time on a bus, is getting a week off to prevent another cross country trip so he can spend more time with his family? I’m a bit skeptical here. He’s already going to have a week off next Sunday because of the World Series. I think seeing Jeff Garcia versus Charlie Frye scares him a bit more than the prospect of another cross country trip.

9. The Bronco defense is embarrassing: Denver head coach Mike Shanahan has worn out defensive coordinators in Denver, firing one after another. Bob Slowik is next on the chopping block at season’s end at this alarming rate. Denver’s defense allowed 416 yards to the Jags in a Week Six loss. The Broncos are dead last against the pass, giving up 255 yards per game.

10. For now, the Cleveland offense is alive: After falling all over themselves through their first four games, the Browns tagged the Giants for a 35-14 win. Derek Anderson hit on long throws and Braylon Edwards finally made big plays.

Fantasy Power Poll

Last week’s rankings are in parentheses

1. Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints (1) – Fantasy football’s best quarterback by far in 2008.

2. Clinton Portis, Washington Redskins (NR) – Portis has been the most consistent performer at running back. He always been steady, but is emerging amongst an average group this season.

3. Frank Gore, San Francisco 49ers (NR) – He would be the top back in all of fantasyland, but his offensive coordinator Mike Martz will be his statistical undoing.

4. Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings (2) – He ran for over 100 yards on Sunday, but failed to score and fumbled twice against the lowly Lions.

5. Michael Turner, Atlanta Falcons (3) – Afterburner Turner has not posted two straight 100-yard games. When he rushes for over 100 yards, he scores. If he’s under 100, he doesn’t score.

6. Kurt Warner, Arizona Cardinals (5) – Steve Breaston is helping to offset the loss of Anquan Boldin.

7. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts (NR) – He’s back for now, but they’ve got to run the ball. Otherwise, Manning is in for a beating every time he drops back to throw.

8. Reggie Bush, New Orleans Saints (8) – I know he has 41 catches and five touchdowns so far, but shouldn’t he have more than 3.1 yards per carry average?

9. Reggie Wayne, Indianapolis Colts (NR) – Despite the one week resurrection of Marvin Harrison, Wayne is still the man in Indy.

10. Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals (10) – Sorry, Larry — you’re just holding Anquan’s spot until he returns.

Link of the Week

To supplement your NBA Draft Kit, I’m providing the single greatest preview in sports history. Here is a look at the upcoming 2008-09 NBA season. Instead of the usual analysis about players, coaches and methods, this invaluable guide uses a woman to symbolize each team.

My favourite is the picture of the drunken skank representing the hopes of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Ouch.

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