On Thursday afternoon, Cliff Lee will look to strengthen his Cy Young hopes with his 18th win of the season against the KC Royals. Although the Royals have done slightly better lately, they remain among the weakest hitting teams in the AL, so Lee winning his seventh straight decision is a very good bet. Since taking a bitch slapping at the hands of the Tigers on July 30, Lee has gotten right back into a sweet groove, going 3-0, 1.50 so far in August. He’s headed for a career high in innings pitched, but is showing no signs of wearing down, and remains tough to hit. It looks like one of our mid-season picks for Cy Young remains on track for the hardware.

Mike Pelfrey’s had a few hiccups lately, but after tossing his first career complete game Wednesday – his second straight strong outing – I’m left scratching my head as to why he’s actually being dumped in plenty of fantasy leagues. Granted, the beginning of the month was ugly for Pelfrey – especially considering how he was rolling in July, but those couple of rough outings appear to be a blip now. Finally healthy, he’s enjoyed a tremendous breakout season, and if he’s not owned – like he is in almost half the leagues out there – I’d definitely consider him as a solid option down the stretch.

Last month, we mentioned that there was a sliver of a chance that A.J. Pierzynski was still out there on the wire in some leagues. That possibility looks even more remote given his current tear. After homering, driving in three runs and recording his second straight three-hit game, Pierzynski has now hit in five straight, turning around a somewhat bland July and beginning of August. Pierzynski had probably his worst full season as a major leaguer in 2007, but he’s recovered nicely this year. He remains among the most durable catchers in the game, with solid gap power, decent productivity and strong batting averages. Nothing wrong with that in my books.

One other name that could potentially be available in those more shallow leagues is J.J. Hardy. What a roll he’s been on. After going 2-for-4 with a homer, two runs and two RBI Wednesday, he’s now hit in seven straight games, leaving an August slump in the dust. While he’s endured more health woes this season, Hardy’s power continues to develop and he’s also become more patient. Next season, if he can avoid major injury, I think he’s poised for a major power breakout, possibly topping 30 homers and hitting close to .300.

How about taking another look at Brett Myers? Hello? If this dude is available in your league, you need to jump now. Have you seen what he’s done since the Phillies brought him back last month? After Wednesday’s nine-hit shutout, he’s now 3-1 through six starts and 41 2/3 IP with just 30 hits and ten runs – nine earned – allowed. He’s walked only ten and fanned 30. A .171 BAA in July and a .189 mark in August? Uh, why is this guy out there in any league now?

What’s gotten into Derek Jeter lately? We questioned whether he was done earlier this month, but man, has he kicked it up a notch in the past week. On Wednesday, he had three hits, homering and driving in a pair to run his hit streak to six games – a stretch that includes five multi-hit games, four games of at least three hits and one four-hit effort. This 16-for-28 run suddenly has Jeter knocking on the door of yet another .300 season. For the month, he’s batting almost .400 and has started running again, swiping three bases in August. As bad a year as everyone has said it’s been for Jeter, he’s still on pace to drive in more runs than he did in 2007.

Kevin Millwood, who has slipped almost entirely off the map from a fantasy perspective, turned in a vintage effort Wednesday, tossing a complete game six-hitter, This snapped a streak of five straight bad outings, and it came against the inconsistent Tigers, so I wouldn’t get excited yet. Still, after getting shelled for four homers in his last start, Millwood was able to keep the ball in the park, and that’s going to be a key for him if he hopes to salvage this season. My call: take a chance on him down the stretch. September has been Millwood’s best month of the season over the last three years, and if Wednesday’s effort was any indication, he’s going to finish strong again.

Back at the beginning of August, we told you it was time to throw some love Garret Anderson’s way. Well, he hasn’t been nearly as hot as he was in July, but he continues to scratch out the hits, Wednesday waiting until the ninth inning but smacking an infield hit to run his hitting streak to 23 games and deliver the game-winning hit for the Angels. He’s no longer an extremely productive fantasy outfielder, but he definitely has proved he still deserves a place on most teams.

How about some love for Francisco Rodriguez? He got burned by the Mariners last week, suffering a rare blown save, but has bounced right back with a pair of clean saves, Wednesday adding to his major league lead with save No. 48, a new record for the Angels, breaking the mark he set in 2006. August hasn’t been the prettiest of months for K-Rod, with a pair of blown saves, but overall he’s been excellent this season despite the lowest strikeout rate of his career. Oh, and perhaps you’ve heard that the MLB saves record is squarely in his sights, as he remains on pace to shatter Bobby Thigpen’s mark by five saves.

Can you believe it’s been nine years to the day since Sammy Sosa reached 50 homers for the second straight season, making him just the fourth player ever to do that (joining Mark McGwire, Ken Griffey Jr. and Babe Ruth). Remember when Sosa and McGwire “saved” baseball a decade ago? My, how times change.

August 21st, 2008
Categories: BASEBALL, Fantasy Notes, RotoRob . Author: RotoRob . Comments: 4 Comments

Perhaps we were a tad premature in our indictment of Willy Aybar earlier this month. Perhaps all he needed was a little RotoRob dissing to get his act together. He’s been on a serious tear the past week and is suddenly looking like a decent AL-only bet. With Evan Longoria out, Aybar is playing everyday again and, man, is he ever responding. After going 2-for-4 Tuesday, including a two-run, tie-breaking double in the eighth, he is now 11-for-27 for the past week, with two doubles, a triple, a homer and five RBI. Get ‘em while they’re hot, baby.

Speaking of hot, are these Rays ever going to crumble or what? After coming from behind Tuesday to beat the Angels, they’ve now won nine of their past 11 games to increase their AL East lead over the BoSox to a comfy four and a half games. They are now tied with the Cubs for the best record in baseball. The best friggin’ record in the game! Sign one of the Apocalype? The fact that Tampa Bay has gone 6-2 vs. the Halos, including 5-0 at home, suggests to me that it can handle the AL powerhouses come playoff time. But there’s still a lot of ball to play, and this next coming stretch will tell us everything we need to know about the 2008 Rays. They are two games into a run where they play 28 out of 31 games against teams that are in playoff contention, and six of those games will be against Boston. Strap yourself in – this is going to be one hell of a ride.

If you’re an Ervin Santana owner and desperately need wins, you must be feeling like sticking your head in the oven today as he was denied a victory for the second straight outing despite a quality start. Your horse retires the first 11 batters and takes a no-hitter into the sixth inning, before surrendering both the no-no and the shutout. Still, he leaves after seven innings with a 2-1 lead having given up just four hits and one run, striking out nine and walking just two. And yet, I don’t see a W beside his name in today’s boxscore. Thanks, Scot Shields (with a great assist from the normally superb Angel gloves). Santana seemed to be leveling off after his great start, recording ERAs of 3.79 in May, 3.86 in June and 4.36 in July. However, in August, one of the top breakouts of 2008 has gone 2-0, 2.95 in his three starts so far. It looks like he’ll finish almost as strong as he started assuming he remains healthy, and that’s fantastic news for Santana owners. Now, about those wins…

As for Shields, he’s been the model of inconsistency this season. We talked about the groove he was on back in June when he sparkled to the tune of a 0.90 ERA. July, however, was a different story, as he got hurt by some long balls and endured a 4.50 ERA for the month. So far this month, he’s been excellent again, going 1.50 despite Tuesday’s hiccup (two walks and three runs – all unearned) in one-third of an inning to drop to 5-4 on the year. Shields has been losing steam in most fantasy leagues, but given his pattern this season, I’d continue to roll the dice with him until September, when he’ll be due for a stinker of a month. Overall, however, there a few better AL options for those seeking holds, a decent amount of wins, nice strikeout rates and an excellent ERA.

Remember that hitting slump that Carlos Pena was in back at the beginning of August? Well, he’s still in it, going just 4-for-23 in the past week. The good news is that all four of those hits have left the park, giving him seven dingers already for the month of August. He’s also walking a ton lately, so those in OBP leagues should take note. Sure, he hasn’t come within a Texas mile of last year’s numbers, especially his percentages, but Pena is now up to 25 homers, and has a good shot at 35 for the season, which is nothing to sneeze at in the post-‘roid era.

He doesn’t see enough action to be fantasy worthy, but we should give a tip of the hat to Darren Oliver, who has done a solid job of transitioning himself into a good situational reliever. With three straight scoreless outings, he’s lowered his August ERA to just over 2.00 and for the year, he’s hovering just over the 3.00 mark. He doesn’t strike out many anymore, but he sure has improved his control from his wild days back in Texas. In a very deep AL-only league, Oliver’s combination of holds, cheap wins with a solid WHIP and ERA makes him someone to consider.

James Shields bent but did not break Tuesday in earning his 11th win of the season. I’m a bit concerned that he’s given up nine hits in three of his four August starts (and 23 hits in 18 IP this month overall), but he hasn’t suffered a serious ripping. After the last time he got roughed up a bit, he went on a roll back in June, so I’m quite confident in Shields’ ability to shake off this stretch. He’s yielding home runs at a slightly higher pace than 2007, and not striking out as many batters as he did last year, and that’s usually a deadly combination, so I do worry about his ability to keep his ERA under 4.00, but so far he’s defying the odds. Will luck continue to shine on him down the stretch?

Despite going hitless in his last two games, Mark Teixeira has been all that for the Halos. Man, is he ever setting himself up for a nice payday this offseason when free agency looms. Before these two games, Tex had hit in nine straight games and was clicking along with an incredible 1085 OPS for the month of August. Overall, he’s batting .354 as an Angel with four homers and 15 RBI over 65 at bats. Remember how he took off after the mid-season deal to Atlanta last season? Apparently, that’s the trick – just deal this dude during the year and watch him explode.

August 20th, 2008
Categories: BASEBALL, Fantasy Notes, RotoRob . Author: RotoRob . Comments: No Comments

It looks like the Arizona Diamondbacks got a potential steal with Bryan Augenstein, a seventh round pick last year out of the University of Florida. The 22-year-old righty has made tremendous strides this year, pitching so well in the Midwest League (5-1, 2.16 with a 69/9 K/BB ratio) that he was promoted to High-A on June 19. While he’s been hit much harder in his six starts in the Cal League, Augenstein’s 3.48 ERA is hardly worthy of shame. Also, with 18 punchouts against just four walks, he continues to show superb command – a trait that should stead him well once he’s ready for the move to Double-A, likely sometime halfway through the 2009 season.

Rod Barajas had picked up some steam as a fantasy catcher for a while there, but it’s time to set him adrift. Currently mired in a 1-for-15 slump, Barajas’ hot start to August has gone by the wayside and he’s now batting just .224 since the break with some severely reduced power. I have my serious doubts whether he’ll be anything more than a platoon catcher in 2009; I just can’t see him holding a starting job for an extended period of time. And considering he’ll be 33 next month, I wouldn’t be seeking any breakthroughs similar to the one he hinted at in 2005 when he bashed 21 homers.

Despite tearing his left hamstring earlier this season, Eric Byrnes still believes he’ll be able to come back this season. Apparently, so do owners in the almost one-quarter of leagues in which he’s still owned. But now that Adam Dunn is in town, there’s really no reason for the D-Backs to let Byrnes hurry back. Considering he was likely drafted as high as the early fourth round in the spring, Byrnes has been one of the biggest fantasy disappointments of the year, especially given how poorly he performed when he was in the lineup.

How impressive has Rich Harden been since moving to the Cubs? While he’s been yielding more long balls at Wrigley (not a shock), it certainly hasn’t hurt him in the ERA department (1.80 through 35 IP). He’s surrendered just seven earned runs over his six starts, and four of those came two starts ago against Houston in what was his only poor outing as a Cub (despite striking out eight and walking just one in 5 2/3 IP). Assuming the Cubs can hold on and take the NL Central, the acquisition of Harden will have to be considered one of the keys of their season.

Good news for Evan Longoria owners, as the uber rookie’s wrist is feeling better. There’s a chance he’ll be back on the field by September 1. What a shame he went down in the midst of such a great first season. Longoria had been absolutely scorching in August before the injury, batting .310 with three homers in just 29 at bats. You’ve got to be worried about the affect this wrist injury will have on his power over the final month of the year, but if he can maintain a .300+ BA, the kid will have nice value even without the pop.

It may time to take another look at Barry Zito if you need pitching help down the stretch. He’s been about as inconsistent as they come, but when he’s on, like he was his last time out, he can help you. Zito has bookended tremendous outings with a pair of shellackings this month. But despite his less-than-inspiring 5.30 ERA for the month of August, you should note that opponents are batting just .206 against him – suggesting that he’s throwing his best stuff of the season by far. While Zito continues to be among the game’s most durable arms – leading some to suggest the number of innings he’s tossed over the past few years is wearing on him – to me the real issue which has led him to a career-worst and NL-leading 15 losses this season is a complete breakout in his command. Even in the recent outings in which he’s had impressive results, Zito is barely striking out more batters than he’s walking, and that’s just not going to cut it – in fantasy land or otherwise.

Watch out for the return of Justin Upton (oblique) within the next week. The rookie was playing his best ball of the season when he went down in early July, so I would definitely consider picking him up if you need some offense down the stretch. Expecting some rust is reasonable, but I think that Upton will be a legitimate asset in September for shrewd owners who are looking to add him over the next few days.

August 19th, 2008
Categories: BASEBALL, Fantasy Notes, RotoRob . Author: RotoRob . Comments: 14 Comments

This has to be considered a season of progress for the Rangers, and if not for a horrible swoon in late-April, this club could be right in the thick of the AL Wild Card race. After a modest 5-4 start, the team went into a 2-12 tailspin, dropping to a season worst 7-16 as of April 24 – essentially burying themselves early. However, Texas rebounded and went a very impressive 51-38 between then and August 5 to move to a season-best 60-54. Competing in the AL West with the blazing Angels would have taken much more than that, but unfortunately, the Rangers’ Wild Card chances have slipped away since thanks to a 2-9 skid.

Offense sure hasn’t been an issue. Texas leads the AL in runs (695), slugging (.456) and OPS. But, as usual, the pitching staff has let this team down. The Rangers are dead last in the Junior Circuit in ERA, BAA (.290), OPS against (829), WHIP (1.60) and quality starts (40).

Dustin Nippert has received a modicum of fantasy attention in AL-only leagues as he got a start Sunday, but it appears that this was just a spot start and even if more rotation time was a possibility, he did his best to ensure he won’t get another chance. To call Nippert horribly inconsistent almost seems like praise. After looking so impressive last week with four shutout innings against the Red Sox, he got tattooed by the Rays Sunday, suffering the loss. Nippert looked to be finding his groove in middle relief last season, but his awful command has rendered him lost this year.

Brandon Boggs has picked up the pace a bit lately, and has driven in runs in the last two games, but without more at bats, he’s not worth owning at this time unless you’re in an extremely deep AL-only league. Because of the fragile nature of several of the Ranger outfielders, Boggs could be looking at more PT at any time and given that he’s a switch hitter, he is not affected by platoons. However, he really hasn’t hit lefties or righties particularly well, although he’s at least shown decent pop against southpaws.

New daddy Josh Hamilton returned to the lineup Friday, and hit in all three weekend games, driving in another two runs Sunday. Talk about respect – the Rays opted to intentionally walk Hamilton with two outs and the bases loaded in the ninth inning. He could have tied the game with a long ball, but instead plated one run with the free pass, leaving Marlon Byrd to end the game with a whiff. Hamilton hasn’t quite maintained his pre-All-Star break pace, but he’s not far off and seems to have picked things up a bit so far this month, at least in terms of getting on base. At any rate, he’s definitely not suffering from any Home Run Derby letdown, a la Bobby Abreu a couple of years ago.

There’s good news from down on the farm, where Brandon McCarthy, who has missed the entire season with a forearm injury, looks just about ready to rejoin the Ranger rotation. He put up seven goose eggs for Triple-A Oklahoma Sunday for his second straight superb start. Last season, McCarthy’s first in Texas and first as a full-time starter, didn’t exactly go swimmingly, but it’s way too early to write him off. True, his excellent recent work has been against weaker teams in the PCL, so the Rangers may opt to see how he fares against a better hitting team (he’ll get the Iowa Cubs next) before bringing him up. There remains a chance he will take the hill for the Rangers on Saturday if they do promote him. Those seeking some late-season pitching help would be wise to monitor the McCarthy situation.

Ian Kinsler had to come out early Sunday with a groin injury. He’ll be evaluated today, so let’s keep our fingers crossed here, because this is the type of injury that tends to linger. It’s awful timing, as Kinsler had been putting his early-August slump in the rear view mirror in recent games, hitting in eight straight and nine of his last ten games. This dude is on pace for 215 freaking hits this season. To put that in perspective, he totaled 248 hits in his first two campaigns.

If Kinsler is going to miss time, who the hell is going to play second for Texas? German Duran would be the likeliest candidate, but he tore a ligament in his thumb last month and won’t be back until late-September if at all. Ramon Vazquez has only played five games at second this year, and right now – until Hank Blalock gets back, anyways – he’s needed at third base. So should Kinsler be sidelined for some time, Joaquin Arias might get his chance. Arias lost almost all of 2007 because of injuries, but he’s made up for it this year, batting .296 with good speed at Oklahoma. He’s batting .316 since the break, but isn’t running as much as he did. Still, if Arias gets the call, he could provide you with a decent BA and some cheap steals.

Speaking of Blalock, he’s getting ready to come off the DL, but will not be returning to the hot corner. Instead, he’s going to man first base and the team will shift Chris Davis from first to third, with Vazquez going to the bench. Blalock’s shoulder woes and inability to consistently make the throw from third to first will present Davis with a chance to impress the team brass enough so that he’ll be in the mix for the starting third baseman job in 2009. At the very least, Davis will have an opportunity to entrench himself as the key corner infield backup. In the meantime, if Davis can wow the team, Texas could look to deal Blalock this offseason. And of course, giving Blalock PT between now and the end of the season will be necessary to showcase him, so those of you that feel like taking a chance on him can rest assured that until he gets hurt again, he’ll be in the lineup every day.

August 18th, 2008
Categories: BASEBALL, RotoRob, Team report . Author: RotoRob . Comments: 2 Comments

Suzy Kolber made us swoon despite some questionable draft picks.

As you may or may not know, ESPN likes to “edumacate” viewers with a mock fantasy football draft every preseason. But instead of getting people who, you know, actually play fantasy football, it lets quasi celebrities and crusty ESPN “talent” throw random darts at a board. It has been a terrible exercise from the beginning, and it just gets worse every year. I tried to avoid it this season. It just causes heartburn and upset stomachs. In fact, that should be a part of the description of the show.

But, I caught parts of it anyway, against my better judgment. Those on fantasy football forums have mocked the draft. I must exorcise the demon. ESPN actually posted the whole draft online. (Fools!) So I will, pick by pick (*gulp*) take this monster apart.

What follows is horrific. Please don’t read it without anesthetizing yourself first. I am sitting down with the draft in one hand, and a bottle of Everclear in the other. I don’t have the heart to mix my grain alcohol with anything. This is going to suck.

By the way, the “competitors” in this draft:

Merril Hoge - Probably would have benefitted having Jaws around.
Suzy Kolber - Once took the Steelers in round two of a fantasy draft. But damn, she’s cute.
Method Man - *Swig*
Chris Mortensen - Somehow comes off less knowledgeable than Method Man.
Roy Williams - Chances he takes himself in the draft? Ninety eight per cent.
Nick Bakay - Actually the best owner. *Swig*
Michael Smith - Well, at least he is aware of his lack of fantasy acumen.
Summer Sanders - Riding Phelps’ wave.

Round One

1. Hoge - Adrian Peterson - *Golf Clap*
2. Kolber - LaDainian Tomlinson - Wow. Two out of two! Maybe this year will be different! Maybe ESPN has finally come through after so much disappoinment. Maybe it has put together a mock draft that will actually help viewers! I may not even need the booze anymore!
3. Man - Frank Gore - *Chugs*
4. Mortensen - Brian Westbrook - Okay. A little woozy, but I’m hanging in there.
5. Williams - Tom Brady - Not the guy I’d take, but I can’t really fault him here.
6. Bakay - Joseph Addai - Bakay, while clearly being the best in this draft, would finish in the bottom half of every league our readers partake in.
7. Smith - Randy Moss - No, this isn’t a PPR league, at least not according to the settings.
8. Sanders - Marshawn Lynch - I think I’m in love.

Round Two

9. Sanders - Tony Romo - Well, that crush lasted about five seconds.
10. Smith - Clinton Portis - Portis is kind of getting up there in years, and Steven Jackson may not hold out all season. I’m just saying.
11. Bakay - Steven Jackson - Thanks, Bakay.
12. Williams - Marion Barber - Boring, but acceptable.
13. Mortensen - Darren McFadden - Well, that’s about 30 picks too high. Congrats to Mort for taking the early lead in the “Worst pick of the worst draft in the history of the world” award.
14. Man - Peyton Manning - He just took Manning cause his surname is the prefix to the Golden Boy’s last name. Or something like that.
15. Kolber - Drew Brees - It’s way too high for Brees, but at least I like the player.
16. Hoge - Brandon Jacobs - Hoge is jealous of any back who gains more than 700 yards in a single season.

Round Three

17. Hoge - Matt Hasselbeck - After the top four quarterbacks are off the board, you might as well wait a while before taking the fifth-ranked one. Hoge just skipped ahead and took the tenth-ranked signal caller. But you get the point.
18. Kolber - Maurice Jones-Drew - Kolber impressed me a little here. (Of course, it might have been those adorable moon-shaped eyes.) This makes up for the Brees pick. A little.
19. Man - Larry Johnson - Obviously, we think Johnson is to be avoided, but his value is about right for the 13th back.
20. Mortensen - Braylon Edwards - Actually, this is a decent selection. I’m not being sarcastic! Stop laughing!
21. Williams - Terrell Owens - Never let active players draft.
22. Bakay - Reggie Wayne - Correct.
23. Smith - Andre Johnson - Fitzgerald makes a little bit more sense, but okay. I’m drunk now, but at least I’m not depressed. Yet.
24. Sanders - Ryan Grant - Woah. Summer, maybe we can work out after all.

Round Four

25. Sanders - Larry Fitzgerald - Wow. Awesome. I think I might have some fantastic dreams tonight.
26. Smith - Jamal Lewis - Maybe Smith knows Willis McGahee’s injury is bad?
27. Bakay - Carson Palmer - Yeah, sounds about right.
28. Williams - Marques Colston - There are, obviously, good backs on the board. But I’m sure Barber will do the work of two backs with his ten carries a game.
29. Mortensen - Calvin Johnson - Fantasy drafts should involve tasing.
30. Man - Chad Johnson - Probably the second-best wide out on his team, but I’ll give MM a pass. He was probably tricked into doing this, anyway.
31. Kolber - T.J. Houshmandzadeh - Aw, I think Suzy reads my writing. (And did I mention I love her?)
32. Hoge - Santonio Holmes - Not as bad as the Johnson pick, but not acceptable. There are at least five wide outs on the board who should be taken before Holmes.

Round Five

33. Hoge - Rashard Mendenhall - Starting backs are so overrated. By the way, for those keeping track at home, Hoge and Mortensen are neck and neck for the claim as the worst owner in the league.
34. Kolber - Jason Witten - Nooooo! Suzy! Why?! Worst pick ever. But damn, you’re cute.
35. Man - Antonio Gates - Clearly frightened by the Witten pick (like the rest of us), MM compounds the horror. Gates is being taken around 49th in drafts across the nation. So this is at least 14 slots too high. *Swig*
36. Mortensen - Derek Anderson - And this pick would be about 20 slots too high. Seriously, Mort, we can tell you haven’t even put five minutes of preparation into this.
37. Williams - Roy Williams - Cute.
38. Bakay - Wes Welker - Don’t get me wrong, Bakay isn’t “good.” It just seems like he is because of the other people here. It’s all relative.
39. Smith - Thomas Jones - For the record, there are seven backs I would, conservatively, put ahead of Jones that were still on the board. One is McGahee, who I realize has some injury concern, but he’s still a top 15 back.
40. Sanders - Rudi Johnson - For the record, Rudi was not one of those seven backs I just mentioned.

Round Six

41. Sanders - Plaxico Burress - Well, whatever.
42. Smith - Michael Turner - Okay. At least Smith’s taking better players as the draft goes on, although that might be something of an indictment of his overall strategy.
43. Bakay - Anquan Boldin - As the biggest Boldin fan on the planet, I apologize to Bakay for saying that mean stuff about him in Round Five.
44. Williams - Willis McGahee - Thank God.
45. Mortensen - Kellen Winslow - Ah. The Anderson to Winslow connection. Awesome.
46. Man - Dallas Clark - Most choose not to take a back-up tight end. Others pick tight ends in both rounds five and six - in an eight-team league, mind you. And a new challenger for worst pick arises.
47. Kolber - Chargers D/ST - In standard scoring, the difference between the top defense and the eighth-ranked defense is somewhere around two points per game. Always wait on a defense.
48. Hoge - Anthony Gonzalez - See, Hoge’s problem is value assessment. It’s not that he picks terrible players. His guys have upside, some might even call them sleepers. But the whole point of a sleeper pick is taking them lower than you think their final stats will reflect. Hoge just takes them at the value he thinks they’ll end up at. At least we’ve figured this out. Oh, and, umm, *swig*.

Round Seven

49. Hoge - Reggie Bush - Okay. Sweet pick.
50. Kolber - Greg Jennings - Note that Steve Smith is still available.
51. Man - Bears DEF/ST - Poor MM. He just gets flustered any time anyone takes a new position. I will bet $8 million that he won’t wait until the last round for a kicker. And no, I didn’t look ahead to find out.
52. Mortensen - Devin Hester - *Hiccup* I need more booze here. Okay, Steve Smith or Devin Hester? Steve Smith. Devin Hester. ADP 28 vs ADP 131. Hmmm…
53. Williams - Steve Smith - Oh, bra-vo. Fifty push-ups for everyone. Yes, that includes you Bakay.
54. Bakay - Willie Parker - Well, I would have preferred Laurence Maroney here, but Bakay already won the league, so I guess it doesn’t really matter.
55. Smith - Ben Roethlisberger - Hoge should feel extra dumb about that Hasselbeck pick after this one.
56. Sanders - Marvin Harrison - A worthy gamble I suppose. Lots of quality backs are left, though.

Round Eight

57. Sanders - Ronnie Brown - At least it’s a high ceiling player at this spot.
58. Smith - Brandon Marshall - I wonder how far Brady would drop if he were suspended for two games.
59. Bakay - Chris Cooley - I don’t know, Bakay. Too many good players left and Cooley isn’t head and shoulders above the other tight ends on the board. Not a good pick.
60. Williams - Laurence Maroney - You might be interested in knowing Maroney’s ADP is 33rd. I really have no clue why he fell this far or who this mock draft is helping.
61. Mortensen - Felix Jones - Let’s take a look at what rounds Mortensen’s player’s should have been taken in with the round he actually picked them in parentheses. One (one), seven (two), two (three), five (four), six (five), six (six), 17 (seven), and now 14 (eight). All around, one of Mort’s better drafts.
62. Man - Donvan McNabb - Not bad. Oh, unless you consider that he still needs two starting wide outs. But, other than that, not bad.
63. Kolber - Aaron Rodgers - Hey, I’m only just past the halfway point. Someone shoot me.
64. Hoge - Joey Galloway - I’m running out of mocking steam. Galloway is 44 years old. Just saying.

Round Nine

65. Hoge - Robert Meachem - Meachem showed a little bit this preseason, and I get that. I really do. Maybe he’ll turn into a late-round gem. But Hoge could have waited until his last non-kicker, non defense pick. I feel badly for Hoge. Here’s to the good ol’ days! *swig*
66. Kolber - Nick Folk - Awful. Method Man will draft a kicker soon, though. He takes his cues from Suzy. Actually, I wouldn’t mind taking my cues from her, either. So to speak.
67. Man - Laveranues Coles - MM also defends Chad Pennington to any naysayer.
68. Mortensen - Brett Favre - Where the hell is that slurping sound coming from? (Thank you, thank you, I’ll show myself out.)
69. Williams - Giants DEF/ST - No comment.
70. Bakay - Torry Holt - It was fun to do this until right about now. Not because it’s unimaginable that Holt could fall until the 70th pick. Not because a kicker, a back-up tight end, and three defenses were taken before a wide out with eight consecutive 1,000-yard seasons. Nope. It’s because I know this mockable draft kept going on. That’s the problem here. If I had any say, I would have shut down production right here. Everybody shut up, turn the lights out, stop the cameras and go home. Oh, and tase yourselves this time. My arm is tired. *Chug*
71. Smith - LenDale White -

Alright. Honestly, I can’t go on. I’m done. Method Man indeed took a kicker in Round Ten. Most teams took back-up tight ends. A couple took back-up defenses. One took a back-up tight end and a back-up defense. I’m not kidding. I mean, come on, I can’t make this stuff up.

The following players weren’t drafted at all in this 120-pick mock (ADP is in parentheses):

Lee Evans (53)
Roddy White (64)
DeAngelo Williams (71)
Kevin Curtis (78)
Jay Cutler (79)
Matt Forte (81)
Kevin Smith (83)
Eli Manning (88)

But hey, who needs a starting back when back-up tight ends are available? *Collapses*

August 17th, 2008
Categories: Andy Goldstein, FOOTBALL, Mock drafts . Author: Andy Goldstein . Comments: 4 Comments